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julietorbert · Sep 23, 2008, 07:26 AM

The father of my son pays child support but has not even attempted o see him he has seen him one time when he was born my son is now 19months old I have gotten married and I want to change my sons lastname to his stepdads stepdad has been in child's life since he was 2 months old the father said no I can't change lastname what are my rights to do this

J_9 · Sep 23, 2008, 07:29 AM

If the father said no, then you can't change the name or have your current husband adopt your son.

Since your ex pays support he still has rights to the child, whether he exercises those rights or not. In order to change the name, or have your husband adopt your son, your ex would need to relinquish his parental rights. From your post it seems that he would not be willing to do that.

julietorbert · Sep 23, 2008, 07:33 AM

Everyone keeps telling me that the father has no rights unless he goes to court to lagitamize the child

J_9 · Sep 23, 2008, 07:35 AM

Ok, we need the full picture to give an accurate answer. I answered solely on the limited amount of info you gave.

Were you married to the child's father?
Is the father's name on the birth certificate?
Has paternity been established?
Is this court ordered child support that he pays?

etc... We need all the info you can give.

julietorbert · Sep 23, 2008, 07:41 AM

No I was not married to the father
Yes his name is on the birth certificate
No paternity test has been done
Yes the state of ga went after him on child support because medicade/family benif
Isn't there a child abandoment law where since he has not seen the child in almost 2 yrs then he can be forced to give up rights if any?

J_9 · Sep 23, 2008, 07:48 AM

If his name is on the birth certificate, then he is legally the father and must relinquish his rights in order for adoption to take place, for a simple name change he would have to give his approval. Since his name is on the certificate, it is assumed that he is the biological father.

Also, being that he does pay child support, he has not abandoned the child. Abandonment may be considered if there was not contact and no support paid.

ScottGem · Sep 23, 2008, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by julietorbert

everyone keeps telling me that the father has no rights unless he goes to court to lagitamize the child

"everyone" is telling you the wrong thing. By putting the father on the birth certificate, that makes him the legal father unless challenged. The fact that he is being required to pay child support IS court legitimization of his paternity.

So, he is the father and has full rights as the father, whether he executes them or not. This means he has to agree to any legal name change.

However, one can use any name they want as long as there is no attempt to defraud. So you can register the child for school under the step dads name for example.

Or you can have the step dad adopt him if the bio dad agrees. And he might agree since it would mean ending support.

J_9 · Sep 23, 2008, 08:15 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

So you can register the child for school under the step dads name for example.

Scott, I have to respectfully disagree with you here. In most states, the parent is required to register the child for school using the legal birth certificate. The child is then registered under his/her legal name for legal educational records. The parent is also required to provide a copy of the child's social security number as a form of identification as well as the birth certificate.

This day in age, the schools must be extremely cautious as to how the child is registered, and must go by the legally given name.

Now, the parent may request that the teacher call his/her pupil by the name chosen by the parent, however, the teacher does not have to honor this request. An example, and not even as complicated as the OP, is that my son's legal name is John, he goes by Johnny, however, since his legal name on his BC and SSN is John, his school records are recorded as "John." Again, this is not as complicated as the OP, but goes to show that there are legalities in the educational system that were not in place as few as 10 years ago.

ScottGem · Sep 23, 2008, 08:21 AM

I agree that the legal name must be provided at registration, but I believe the parent can have whatever name they want used except where a legal name is required.

Some area may be more infexible about this. But federal law does allow someone to use any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud.

J_9 · Sep 23, 2008, 08:29 AM

The legal name is used now because of the higher rate of blended families, grandparents raising children, etc. The educational record can be used as a legal document in some instances, thus the need for the legal name to be used.

Confusion ensues when David Smith (legal name) goes by David Johnson (mom's new husband) when it comes to issues such as who can or cannot pick the child up from school, when the records need to be entered in court (as when a child is misbehaving and has to go to alternative school as an example), which parent does/does not have legal custody, whether it be sole legal custody, shared legal custody, or no contact whatsoever.

This has been established in the last decade due to the incidence of parents with no custody showing up at the school to pick up the child, thus the need now to show identification when picking up children prior to dismissal times. (I have to show ID at my son's school, when picking him up prior to dismissal, even though I have been well known there for the past 8 years and my MIL is a teacher at that school and I frequently visit the classes).

This day in age with parental kidnappings and the like, some mentioned above, the schools are now required to use the legal name of the child.