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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 07:11 PM
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Some funnies.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls (That one was for Alty)
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe"
How do you get 50 sweet little 80-year-old ladies to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."
-A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't going to believe this...
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Senior Member
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May 7, 2008, 07:33 PM
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Funny And true... what more could you ask for? Lol
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 08:51 PM
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The sweet little old lady one got me, I loved it!
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 08:54 PM
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Bingo :)
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 09:01 PM
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Bingo:D
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 09:33 PM
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Monkey Chili
1 Medium Monkey
2 large onions
1/2 cup of chili powder
Herbs and Spices to taste
4 cups water
Skin, gut and cut up monkey in one inch cubes. Fry monkey meat until golden brown. Throw in remaining ingredients, turn down on low and cover. Simmer for 2 hours until monkey meat is tender and juicy.
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 09:36 PM
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That's a lot of chili Mag , that'll be one HOT monkey
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Ultra Member
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May 7, 2008, 09:50 PM
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Yuck... I love trying new recipe's but YUCKY!
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Gone, But Not Forgotten
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May 8, 2008, 12:02 AM
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Oh you are SO in trouble for the golden retreiver one! Baaaaddd Franny! LMAO!
... and do I have to say... BINGO!
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Full Member
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May 9, 2008, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by friend4u178
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."
-A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ....
Correction
"O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es this.
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Gone, But Not Forgotten
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May 9, 2008, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp
Correction
"O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es dis.
Oh Champ! You really do know sum southerners don't you?! LMAO!! ;)
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Full Member
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May 9, 2008, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by starbuck8
Oh Champ! You really do know sum southerners don't ya?!! LMAO!!! ;)
I'm related to some southerners, by the grace of god I haven't picked up the accent.
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Ultra Member
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May 9, 2008, 09:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp
Correction
"O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es dis.
LMAO! That's great Champ.
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