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-   -   Some funnies. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=213685)

  • May 7, 2008, 07:11 PM
    friend4u178
    Some funnies.
    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever

    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls (That one was for Alty)

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it

    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
    They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe"

    How do you get 50 sweet little 80-year-old ladies to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."

    -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't going to believe this...
  • May 7, 2008, 07:33 PM
    rpg219
    Funny And true... what more could you ask for? Lol
  • May 7, 2008, 08:51 PM
    startover22
    The sweet little old lady one got me, I loved it!
  • May 7, 2008, 08:54 PM
    friend4u178
    Bingo :)
  • May 7, 2008, 09:01 PM
    startover22
    Bingo:D
  • May 7, 2008, 09:33 PM
    magprob
    Monkey Chili

    1 Medium Monkey
    2 large onions
    1/2 cup of chili powder
    Herbs and Spices to taste
    4 cups water

    Skin, gut and cut up monkey in one inch cubes. Fry monkey meat until golden brown. Throw in remaining ingredients, turn down on low and cover. Simmer for 2 hours until monkey meat is tender and juicy.
  • May 7, 2008, 09:36 PM
    friend4u178
    That's a lot of chili Mag , that'll be one HOT monkey
  • May 7, 2008, 09:50 PM
    startover22
    Yuck... I love trying new recipe's but YUCKY!
  • May 8, 2008, 12:02 AM
    starbuck8
    Oh you are SO in trouble for the golden retreiver one! Baaaaddd Franny! LMAO!

    ... and do I have to say... BINGO!
  • May 9, 2008, 02:16 PM
    Da Bigchamp
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by friend4u178
    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..."

    -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ....

    Correction

    "O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es this.
  • May 9, 2008, 02:25 PM
    starbuck8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp
    Correction

    "O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es dis.

    Oh Champ! You really do know sum southerners don't you?! LMAO!! ;)
  • May 9, 2008, 08:14 PM
    Da Bigchamp
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starbuck8
    Oh Champ! You really do know sum southerners don't ya?!! LMAO!!! ;)

    I'm related to some southerners, by the grace of god I haven't picked up the accent.
  • May 9, 2008, 09:07 PM
    magprob
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp
    Correction

    "O my goo' lard, y'alls ain't gon' belie'es dis.

    LMAO! That's great Champ.

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