[Ash123]

Yes, stay busy. And always keep your mental health and physical health top of the list... I have had ex's circle back and I did not allow them back as friends or lovers until I was in the place I wanted to be. Enjoy the journey. Thanks for adding your personal experiences and thoughts. Good stuff!

[Imabadman]

Good post Ash.

[Ash123]

Good post Ash.

Thanks...

Peace is the goal... one day at a time.

[ThatGirrl!]

Lol these are perfect!
I think that I have done
All and I'm okay?

[Ash123]

Lol these are perfect!
I think that I have done
all and im okay?

I hope so!

[Ash123]

It's been a while since I added to this Guide. But after testing it a few times I have to say that it has always been valuable to me... This month I am actually being forced to test it again. I wish it were not the case. My girlfriend, who works as a fashion model and a community volunteer had wowed me pretty good. But she still has some growing up to do and Ash is about to be single again. Chase her? I cannot. It was her decision. Call her? I cannot. She has to earn it. She emailed me 3x but all were so light in content that I did not think a response was warranted since no mention of a life plan... So, I am going to grit my teeth and live the survival guide myself. It ain't going to be fun, and I may lose her, but what girl wants to be chased when she wants space? Only those that want more attention... and that was not her issue. She does have some cute friends though... :-)

[the_original]

I really needed this... thank you so much.

[Ash123]

No worries... Hope the guide doesn't get buried/lost on here :-)

HANG IN THERE BUD!

[the_original]

Ash I was reading the other thread you posted a link to... you have awesome advice. Would you mind skimming through my thread and dropping a comment or two? It would help out so much and I would greatly appreciate it

[tomk]

This is just what I needed- first day or putting my foot down and saying stop playing with my heart. It's tougher than anything I have done but it needs to be done.

Thanks

[Something_Here]

Thank you for this. Will definitely read again.

[Ash123]

HOLD THE LINE.

Their power fades when you focus elsewhere.

[paxe]

What is really the point of this? Giving hope to people so that they can move on? Usually when you break up or the ex break's up, there's only one thing to do: No Contact and move on without looking back.

[Ash123]

The point is since it is taboo to ever talk about a reunion,
And no contact is key, (which much of the above refers to)
If you HAVE to get closure later, and take a risk come hell or high water - do it right.
It is risky. The breaker rarely comes back for real unless it's a significant time.
And on their terms.
Life is a crap shoot.
NC is best.
A shot in the dark is at every person's discretion.
And that's what the above is.

[Something_Here]

The breaker rarely comes back for real unless it's a significant time.

You mean if the relationship lasted for quite some time then, or..

[Ash123]

I mean the time-off is significant. Not the time in the relationship.

Breakers circle back all the time to communicate, but they need time before any progress is made. In fact, I'd bet if every breakee never spoke one syllable, except for maybe a nice work on the way out - the breaker would track them down nearly every time... BUTTT not necessarily to get back together... Just to close the loop. To see what was there. None of it is pretty.
But silence is golden most of the time.

[Anon_a_mouse]

Hey Ash, I have a question.
Ive read through, oh id say about 7 pages, but nothing that was posted
Really stuck.

Here's my situation:
First, ill say that I am 16, and she is 15 (Yes, I know, it isn't the end of the world if it doesn't work out, since we are both young and dumb)
We have been together just a hair past two years (as of April second),
But are coming across another rough spot/possible break up.
Im not sure when, but about last January, she said she wanted a break, for about a week. Still be a couple, but only on a technicality.
We still talked, but diddnt act like a couple.
I said OK, and did just that. A week later, she wanted back, and we got back, and were happy again.
But now she says there's another problem; she's starting to not love me anymore.
Still cares, and there isn't another person, and it isn't a sex based relationship (both of us are virgins, actually).
She doesn't want to give up, because she DOES remember all the good times we have had, and how good of a BF I have been.
I honestly do love her, and want it to work out. Guess I grew up a little fast and skipped the stage where all teens just want to f***.
I think she does still love me too, due to what I said above, she just.. can't see it/something like that.
I have changed a bit since we met, mostly things I knew she would want changed to be happier as an individual and as a couple.

Right now, I honestly haven't a clue what to do. It seems like she wants to love me, but cant. Ive told her how I feel, wrote her a song, and talked about it.
I don't have enough experience to know where/what to do to make this better again,
And I was asking for a little help.
Thanks

[kiwi21]

Great thank you.

[KhanhHa]

Right.. thank you

[Imabadman]

Really good post.

I strongly agree that cutting contact (No Contact) is an immediate must following a break up if just to let the emotions settle and get a grip on the situation. Plan rather than react.

I like the maturity your post shows in understanding that if you actually want to get back with your EX you actually have to communicate after a period where as the typical negative blokes on here will just say, "No Contact, never speak to them again...". While in some cases fitting advice, in others just a cop out for their failures. I think what many don't accept is that this "period of time" means months rather that days and that sometimes you just can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.