[Wildcat21]

You NEVER lose her by NOT calling - believe me. Hahaha - she'll lose interest by you calling her every day, twice a day.

You need to learn to give her the gift of missing you. Be mysterious. Be busy.

"But she sounds like a real touchy, feely, clng on peson to me." - so is Lost!

"But after awhile that constant cling starts to wear me out and turn me off." - always does to everyone.

Make her call you. Seriously. Wait it out! She'll love you for it - you will give her what she needs.

RUBLUE has a lot of solid advice for you there.

[lost??]

If I learned anything from what I've been through, I guess I am a clingy person and I got to work on that. She told me to give her a call tonight but I don't think I should and you guys said not to so I won't. Ill give it a couple days, maybe give her a call on Friday or something. In the mean time if she calls me ill pick up and talk to her but just keep it simple. She knows I'm already interested so I don't have to show her anymore. I really do want this to work out though but I got to take it slow and like wildcat said before, play with my cards pressed against my chest. Ill keep you posted.

[Wildcat21]

Hey Dude - in my 20's I was like that - needy, clingy - WHY? I DON'T FREAKING HAVE A CLUE. I have a great life and have fun even by myself.

Yep... don't share your feelings too soon - early on - don't rush things... give the person time to catch up to your interest level by being busy with other stuff...

This is something I like to post and it's 100% true...

IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don't let on how excited you've become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.

It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.

[RUBLUE]

Ok wildcat on this we agree for sure. I to was into that clingy crap when I wasin my early 20s. (PUKE) But back then I got turned on when the wind blew. This kid sounds real young. And we can talk forever giving him advice. But you and I know he is only going to follow one thing. That part of his body that is constantly reminding him it's there. Lost, just go do life and everybody in it. I admire you for wanting insight. But Bro you are thinking way too much over some gal you probably will not be with in 4 months. And you can start all this over again and again and again. It's called life!!

[Chery]

hey guys i got another question. i hooked up with a friend of mine's friend last nite. i had friends tellin me that she really liked me and that they thought we had a great chance at bein together. she just got out of a relationship that she really didnt want to be in anyway. my question is that is it too early too call her on the next day? i dont know if it was just a random hook up or somethin more (people keep tellin me they think its gonna lead to somethin more). how do i find out what her intentions are without just comming out and saying it. my 1 friend keeps tellin me 2 call but i don know if its too early, what do you guys think?? thanks

Hey Lost... from an old lady who has been getting to know you a lot here, I have a question. What the heck are you doing constantly being on the forum, instead of out meeting these people and getting to know them, without using any type of 'gameplan'. Come on, you've received so much advice now and in the past, so you should at least be able to decide for yourself what you want spontaneously. Do you always need directions or a road map or can you just be spontaneous for a change and see where it takes you. There are no set rules, not in a relationship or life, for that matter. If there were, we could all make a million in writing a book. Get out there and start living your life and take a few chances - no investment, no gain.

We can all sit at home and think that we'll get rejected all the time and be very lonely. Or, we can take a chance knowing rejection is not going to kill you, but at least you can say you tried. Now stop being a wuss and go out there and do what you feel like doing and start enjoying life for goodness sake and stop reading into things before the book is even opened. Next time you hesitate, imagine me behind you pushing you out that door and not letting you in for a few hours. Good luck, have fun and keep us posted. Mom2

Get out there and go for it!

[Wildcat21]

Lost gets confused on timing - early on, women don't want to hear from you 5 times a day or every day for that matter. Most guys want everything yesterday... women might not call you back for a week - which is OK.

Timing with women is way different.

[jc105]

This may be WAY to late and irrelevant...

But always remember they may not have had a second thought about you. You never know. Feel the person out before jumping on them. But definitely call. She will be happy about the attention, but be sure to have a plan(a date or w/e)

[RUBLUE]

Is this still a problem for you kid ? Where in the USA do you live. I will come there and take you by the hand, and guide you through life. GEEEEZZZZ!! MAN UP ALREADY!!

[lost??]

Alrite like a lot of you said I took a couple days off the topic. I just wanted to post an update. I saw her again this weekend at a party she asked me to come to. We both had a good time and ended up spending the night together (we were both drunk, nothing happened). We just slept at the house where the party was. Anyway, the next day I took her back to school and went to breakfast with her and her friends. I had a good time and she kept getting her friends to tell me embarissing stories about herself. Afterwards she walked me back to my car and I didn't know what to expect. She opened her arms and so I just gave her a hug but she ended up kissin me and telling me to call her. And now every time we're online at the same time she im's me and comes to me first. It feels good to have her come to me. Anyway I'm going to call her tonight and talk to her for a little. I really do think I want a relationship with this girl but I'm still not sure if she feels the same so I'm not going to say anything for a while. In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions on how I can find this out? Thanks ill keep you posted

[RUBLUE]

Only time will tell. Sounds to me you already have a relationship. Hang Bro, good luck!!

[Wildcat21]

Don't rush it dude. It's OK to go a few days without hearing from her. Builds mystery, challenge, misses you - all those things women want - everyone of them.

[lost??]

You know what, you're right. I really do want to talk to her but I think I should take your advice. I didn't take it in my previous situation and look where it got me... wishin that I listened to you earlier. Ill give it a couple days and not contact her unless she contacts me first. Thanks

[Wildcat21]

Well, sometimes we are all stuborn. I learn something new every day about this stuff.

Yep, make her come to you. Always.

Don't be so available this time - be busy - she'll love you for it.

That which is chased - runs!

And - remember - women really think differently as far time goes - guys want everything yesterday because it's logical. Women don't see it that way.

If you don't hear from hear after a coupel days - call her. She may have just been waiting for your call. And she will appreciate not being smothered.