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sallyxo · Mar 31, 2008, 09:29 PM

Hi, I am 18 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over four months. We live together and we are very happy. He hasn't said I love you yet, I was just wondering if I should say it, or when I should say it... I really like him and I want to say it... im just not too sure how to... n I don't want to scare him off...

Please help

N0help4u · Mar 31, 2008, 09:31 PM

Your living with him and scared to say I love you?

simoneaugie · Mar 31, 2008, 09:35 PM

I'd have a talk with him about what love is. Not what love is to him, or to you, just what is it. That will provide a map of where to go. What is love? What is commitment? What do your parents think love and commitment are? What do your friends think?

sallyxo · Mar 31, 2008, 09:42 PM

I'm not scared to say I love you, I'm not to sure how to say it and when to bring it up... I don't want him to think that I'm trying to move to fast

DaBaAd · Mar 31, 2008, 09:50 PM

You obviously have this backwards. You commit to living with him and him with you without knowing how you feel and share this with each other? I think it's too late for the "I love you" story since both of you have everything from each other now... why bother? You are right.. you will scare him away and maybe he will not wait... on to someone else.

Next time turn it around and find out how much you are willing to give before making yourself the sacrifice.

talaniman · Mar 31, 2008, 09:59 PM

I really like him and I want to say it

It's a real red flag when your living with someone you only like. You tell someone you love them, when you really mean it.

ISneezeFunny · Mar 31, 2008, 10:04 PM

Not to mention.. at the age of 18... and only after dating for 4 months... yikes.

I mean... I'm 22, and I only drop the L-word after at least a year or two into it...

jamimama · Apr 1, 2008, 12:30 AM

It took my boyfriend two years. Not to say that's normal or weird or right or wrong but it depends.

I am curious why you live together after four months when you're 18. Is he 18 as well?

starbuck8 · Apr 1, 2008, 12:59 AM

Why are you living with him, and I assume sleeping in the same bed if you haven't made any kind of a commitment? You've been living together for 4 months. Okay? how long did you know him before that? You're only 18, and I know that 4 months may seem like a long time to you right now, but don't rush into it or you WILL push him away.

You already did things the wrong way around by not making sure you knew where things stood before you decided to share a place together. That is why you are in the situation you are in now!

Love isn't just a feeling darlin. It's a series of steps you take to make sure you have chosen the right person. It involves responsibility, trust, respect, mutual understanding, and a whole list of things that I could go on and on about. You may have some of these things, I don't know, but it takes a lot longer than 4 months of living together to get to know someone's real character.

If he hasn't told you that he loves you, I wouldn't push that. Obviously he's not ready, or you wouldn't be asking this question. If he loves you he's not going anywhere, so if you love him too, you will both know it and it won't seem like it's a rush to say the words. No one should have to say it first, you will just know after time.

danni07 · Apr 1, 2008, 01:25 AM

Well I think you should talk to him! I mean I have been with my boyfriend for 17 months, he has neva said I Love You and I asked him why! He said he cares for me but does not love me yet, which is not very nice to hear when you love someone!

I mean people fall in love at different stages in a relationship, some it can take 2 months whilst it may take 2years to realise you love someone. If I was you and I felt it I would say it because it may burst out when you least expect it. But at the same time, You have to be careful thou because if you say it and he doesn't say it back, its not a nice feeling. Which is what happened to me.

But I mean if he treats you good and cares for you, it is still a good thing. Love is just a word I suppose, but I think we all need love in a relationship at sometime. GOOD LUCK

danni07 · Apr 1, 2008, 04:42 AM

That's Your Opinion it has worked before! No ones relationship is the same, so its hard 2 comment on! But I have been in this persons situation so I can relate to them.

jeewee · Apr 1, 2008, 12:50 PM

I would never live with someone if they did not say they loved me. That is the minimum commitment they should give.

shellbell2228 · Apr 1, 2008, 02:03 PM

You always let the guy say it first, no matter how long it's been or how old you are. Trust me.

ISneezeFunny · Apr 1, 2008, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by shellbell2228

You always let the guy say it first, no matter how long it's been or how old you are. Trust me.

That's a load of bullhonky. Why can't the girl say it first? Because she might get "stuck" or give the guy the "upper hand"?

It's the same situation for guys. Whoever feels it should say it... regardless of gender.

N0help4u · Apr 1, 2008, 02:32 PM

Moving in with him but afraid to move too fast...
I think you already MADE the big fast move!

I don't know but when I am all into a guy he better be okay with all the I Love you's I have to say or he shouldn't be there with me in the first place.

BUT many guys never or rarely say I love you so don't look forward to that.

starbuck8 · Apr 1, 2008, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Moving in with him but afraid to move too fast....
I think you already MADE the big fast move!

I dunno but when I am all into a guy he better be okay with all the I Love you's I have to say or he shouldn't be there with me in the first place.

BUT many guys never or rarely say I love you so don't look forward to that.

That's how so many bad relationships that end badly start. You put the cart before the horse. It's best to know where both people stand before moving in. I agree... wrong way around! Back up!