Don't know what to do.

talaniman · Feb 9, 2008, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by DazT

Thanks for the advice...

Anymore??

If your wanting more advice, then tell us your feelings, about what advice you have been given, and where your at as far as changes in the situation, and ask questions :cool:

DazT · Feb 20, 2008, 09:48 AM

Okay, I'm back here to tell you what's going on now, as I'm starting to feel weak and not having a good day.

So since I broke it off with her and haven't replied to her messages, my mind hasn't really been on her, except for at night time. I have been in school all day every day (I used to go only half a day, but my first aim after this relationship ended was to get my education back on track), then I come home and go straight to work so my mind has been pretty much involved with other things.

She has not contacted me in 1 week, so I haven't had any temptations to contact her. I was a bit disappointed today though when I logged onto my Msn and her name was "all the things we talked about, the dreams were ever true"..

She always talked about getting married, having kids etc.. Even though I always felt I was too young to be talking about this when she did. Anyway, when I logged online, she just went off. Which means she must be trying no contact as well.

Some parts of me really want her back, but then my sense comes back in a few minutes and tells me to wise up - what it was really like when we were together.

jolienoire · Feb 20, 2008, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by DazT

Okay, I'm back here to tell you what's going on now, as I'm starting to feel weak and not having a good day.

So since I broke it off with her and haven't replied to her messages, my mind hasn't really been on her, except for at night time. I have been in school all day every day (I used to go only half a day, but my first aim after this relationship ended was to get my education back on track), then I come home and go straight to work so my mind has been pretty much involved with other things.

She has not contacted me in 1 week, so I haven't had any temptations to contact her. I was a bit disappointed today though when I logged onto my Msn and her name was "all the things we talked about, the dreams were ever true"..

She always talked about getting married, having kids etc.. Even though I always felt I was too young to be talking about this when she did. Anyway, when I logged online, she just went off. Which means she must be trying no contact as well.

Some parts of me really want her back, but then my sense comes back in a few minutes and tells me to wise up - what it was really like when we were together.

Intuition is key here, listen to it, don't read too much into what she writes but her actions... Let it go.. Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

DazT · Feb 20, 2008, 10:22 AM

Thanks. Today I'm not really looking for advice, just wanted to write about how I felt. It's one of those bad days that I read on here that we get post break up. I'm texting a few other girls, and getting on well with the ones in school. Now that I'm in bad form, I have texted a few of my friends and we are going to get a pizza and watch the football, to keep my mind off things.

jolienoire · Feb 20, 2008, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by DazT

Thanks. Today I'm not really looking for advice, just wanted to write about how I felt. It's one of those bad days that I read on here that we get post break up. I'm texting a few other girls, and getting on well with the ones in school. Now that I'm in bad form, I have texted a few of my friends and we are going to get a pizza and watch the football, to keep my mind off things.

No prob, let it out, that just goes to show people care about your feelings.. HAVE FUN! You deserve it!

plumberman · Feb 20, 2008, 11:09 AM

Just grind your way through it... besides at 16 trust me she doesn't REALLY know what she wants... btw how old are u?

ISneezeFunny · Feb 20, 2008, 11:11 AM

Yeah... even girls my age (22) have no clue what they want. Imagine 16. Woof.

DazT · Feb 21, 2008, 05:09 PM

I am one year older, 17.

Well, today, it's been three weeks. I have to say, I am really missing her and have been quite upset today. Someone rang me with a withheld number last night and never said anything.

It was our 2nd year anniversary yesterday.. it was quite a sad day but I got on without really thinking about it. Other things in my life aren't going so well such my mum and dad who like to be at each other's throats all day and night, so that isn't helping.

I'll just struggle along, and resist the urge to break N/C.

DazT · Mar 17, 2008, 05:21 PM

Right, look.. this is the story.. I'm not feeling upset, hurt or any other emotion that people go through with a break up, because WE BREAK UP ALL THE TIME!

I have been with.. this girl.. for 2 and a half years or nearabouts. I have not been happy for a year now.. when we first broke up. God, I wish I had of just broken up with her completely then, instead of all this nonsense.

Let me think.. we have broken up not once, not twice, not three times, I think this is the fifth!! time we have broken up.

In January we broke up, the next month we get talking again.. we meet up, we ring each other.. it's all back to the way it was. She is all over me like a rash, ringing me every night etc.. Then one night I rung her and she was really off with me. Since then, she has hardly spoke a word to me, like she doesn't care about me.. don't worry, I'm used to this cycle.. she does this every time we are about to break up!

It seems to me that whenever I'm treating her like a queen, she goes off me. But when I treat her badly (ignore her texts, one word answers on the phone, etc) she comes running back like a shot...

Anyway, I'm through with this. I'm tired of relying on her to make me happy. Because when we're on that stage when we're back together, I'm really happy.. but at the back of my mind I keep thinking: "don't rely on her to make me happy because she isn't reliable, she's going to go off in that cycle any time now"..

Then we break up, for the first week.. I manage no problem with N/C. Then she'll text me and I'll run straight back. Or, if she doesn't run back to me, I run back to her and she takes me back.

It's sooo confusing! I just want to rely on my own moods to be happy, not rely on someone's mood to decide if I'll have a good day or not! Like it used to be before I met this girl!

Sometimes I wish I had never have met her, but then I think back to the first year and a half, when everything was just brilliant...

CaribMan · Mar 17, 2008, 05:25 PM

She seems like a mind fuk... I would leave her alone don't talk to her, don't text her just go NC forever if you want... its up to you... if it were me I would not be in a relationship like that, I don't like being treated like garbage, but some people like it.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2008, 08:42 AM

Break the cycle, get married or leave each other alone. The make up sex must be to die for.

Andrea21 · Mar 19, 2008, 12:52 PM

I'm not a relationship expert cause I've done the same damn thing before. Just let it go! Stop wasting so much time of your precious life. Your soulmate is out there somewhere but it's just not her.

JuliaK · Mar 19, 2008, 06:16 PM

Its so hard to let go I know! Me and my ex broke up about 5 times as well.. Maybe more! The last time was about 3 months ago but we still talk constantly and its confusing! But it seems to be sticking this time. I think try and not rely on her mood to make you happy I know its hard when you care about someone so much. If its meant to be you WILL end up together if not this thing you have will just come to an end naturally so if you can't let her go yet then don't but also don't let it affect you so much mentally just try and have fun with it..

DazT · Mar 29, 2008, 03:26 PM

Well, we broke up eventually. I haven't heard from her since Tuesday and have in the right frame of mind to just let her go. Was a bit drunk one night and realised she wasn't worth all the worry... managed to stick with that thought in my head, and I'm just excited to be single again..

I made a list in my phone of all the stuff that I didn't like about her and why I shouldn't go back. Every time I feel bad, I read it and it puts me in a better mindset.

Just trying to get on with my life now. When I find it tough, I look at my phone and will start to post here more often. I have realised I need to move on with my life after nearly 2 and a half years of the same girl, when there's plenty more left out there.

Also, with the fact that she has her myspace picture of herself and this other fella (who is clearly a rebound), it has shown me she is not over me and that she's trying to annoy me. It shows me how much she really isn't worth it and that I'm not missing much.. if she wants to be immature, I'm just going to let her.

I think this time is definitely the time I'm going to get over her, even through the bad days.

N0help4u · Mar 29, 2008, 03:36 PM

You are off to a good start. Making a list is good. Also have a back up buddy that you can call and discuss fishing or whatever when you can't get your thoughts off her. Make a list of things you want to accomplish and even how you feel that your relationship held you back from those goals.
She is playing games with your head. She feels that as long as you are bowing down to her she can and will take you for granted but when you make yourself unavailable she panics and wants you back.
It is time you realize that this is not the vicious cycle you want indefinitely when you could be out there making a real life and finding a real relationship.

DazT · Mar 29, 2008, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You are off to a good start. Making a list is good. Also have a back up buddy that you can call and discuss fishing or whatever when you can't get your thoughts off her. Make a list of things you want to accomplish and even how you feel that your relationship held you back from those goals.
She is playing games with your head. She feels that as long as you are bowing down to her she can and will take you for granted but when you make yourself unavailable she panics and wants you back.
It is time you realize that this is not the vicious cycle you want indefinitely when you could be out there making a real life and finding a real relationship.

Yeah, I have a few friends I can talk to. I have also told all of my friends not to tell me any stories about my ex. Every other time we broke up, I refused to call her my ex.. but now that's what I see her as, my ex. The past.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Every time I have broken up with her, I have ran back because I know she would take me back.. but this time, she has broken up with me and I can't run back, but the way I feel now, I don't want her to run back.. because I know it will mess with my head in the end of it all again.

talaniman · Mar 30, 2008, 04:54 AM

A new and better cycle cannot begin, until you get away from the old one. There is a great big world out there for you to explore, so look forward, as you already know where you have been.

DazT · Apr 2, 2008, 10:43 AM

I'm on day 8 of no contact and today is the best I have felt since the breakup. I had a lot of spare time on my hands today, so I went shopping for my first car, got a new look (completely different haircut), meeting with a few friends tonight and I'm feeling really great today.

In truth, I haven't really had one bad day since the breakup. Every time I feel sad or depressed, I read my list again to remind me of her bad points and why it didn't work.. this cheers me up and I try to think of something else.

I feel like I'm starting to get the old me back after 2 long years. When I was going out with my girlfriend, I was told I was no fun any more, I only seemed happy around her. I was a football fanatic before I met her, and although I never gave up my interest in watching football, I stopped playing the sport and since then I have re-joined my old club and starting to really enjoy my football again.

:)

DazT · Apr 8, 2008, 02:16 PM

Hey there, day 14 is almost finished and I'm doing really well. Not thinking of her as much any more but today I was a bit down when I heard a rumour about myself.

Now, the girl who started the rumour is known to gossip.. but I don't know if my ex knows her as a gossip as she doesn't know her very well. The rumour is:

When I was on holiday in the summer I cheated on my ex girlfriend (then girlfriend) and didn't tell anybody.

I've just been told that the gossiper and the ex, are going to a concert together. I'm afraid she's going to tell her about the rumour and my ex will then think I cheated.

What should I do? I don't want to break N/C.

nickshehe · Apr 8, 2008, 03:19 PM

Absolutely nothing.. it shouldn't matter what she thinks..
If you contact her you show weakness, and in a form you give her that control and satisfaction that she expects you to give her..
Let her come to you and ask you.. then you can decide whether to break the NC.

I would go somewhere along the lines of "no I didnt cheat on you but I wouldnt be suprised if you dont believe me..anyway I have to jet I have some stuff to do..take care"