[Certificate]

I am getting very confused. Eg of behavior from my partner is as follows: He will say I am ready 1/2 hour before we need to go , he may still be in the bath. This makes me get hot sweats, he says it non stop. We are going on a short holiday this week , and he has started already 'are you packed '... (this may not be well described behavior but it is rentless , morning, evening ). I should not shop, I buy items close to or out of date. I loose everything, nothing can be found because I lost or put it away Or threw or threw it in the bin. I do not know what I am doing. He goes through he bin and will say ' how did that get here' (this will be a recycling issue /if something is not in the recycled section).. My response would be to say ' why don't you ask it'

If I say I am looking after something his answer will be ' that is what I am afraid of'...
I made a horrible apple tart the other day ( I had not made one before and why not learn) when I said you have to experiment or it will never be correct his response was it would be cheaper to buy one ---

The sad thing is he is a really nice and good natured man. I really loved him, but now I am getting confused and feel as if I do not even like him. I have no interest in having sex , I do not want him to touch me. I THINK he is deliberately manipulating me even in the sex area. Somehow this is what he wants. I sense his actions are calculated. This is sad , can I fight back what ever the problem -- We know each other a long time. There has always been this element. But recently has become very obvious. I know I am not perfect and it is very difficult to ask a complicated question in a short space . How do I stop this ,

[twinkiedooter]

You don't stop this type of behavior as he is only getting worse and will only get worse the longer he keeps dominating you. I am sure he started with just simple things and then he kept building and building up what he wanted you to do, how he wanted you to dress, how to act, etc. Basically he is a control freak who is tasting his dominant power over you and frankly likes it. If you can gracefully get out of this relationship if it is bothering you this much, then leave as soon as you can. People like him are not easy to live with and if you are not looking forward to dealing with this dominant male, then you can't change him, you can only change the situation - with you not in it.

I know I'm going to catch a lot of flack for telling you to get out of the situation, but do you really want to keep cow-towing to him for years to come - or do you want to get yourself esteem back? It's up to you what you do. Don't get me wrong, he MAY change, but at this point in the relationship I am sure that he is so comfortable bossing you about that he's not going to change. It's almost like the old saying "Wolverines make good housepets, don't they?" No.

[talaniman]

If he is overstepping your boundaries, you should be letting him know about it. In accepting this behavior, your asking for more. If that's not what you want, let him know.