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psiloveyou · Feb 22, 2008, 03:13 PM

I'm 17, and am currently in my last few months of college before going to university. I've never been a confident person, but I was becoming livelier. However, recently I've been crying at really silly things. Like my friend will ask me how I am on msn and I'll cry about it. I know I'm worried about the whole transition into university idea, and whether I'm doing the right thing, as well as my exam grades. Also, my parents are very strict, and all I do is go to college and work. I'm not allowed to go out apart from that, so I spend all my time in my bedroom, and I do get very lonely and crave company. I find myself just staring into space, daydreaming or just randomly crying and not being able to fully explain why. And when I do, its over really pointless things. I sometimes end up so down that even when I'm in college with my friends, I struggle to become involved in conversations and instead find myself just staring at nothing and not even being able to tell anyone what I'm actually thinking about. Why is this happening and is there anything I can do to sort it out?

talaniman · Feb 22, 2008, 04:02 PM

Start with a check up, and be candid with your doctor, so he can make a complete assessment of your physical health, just to rule a few things out. Tell him what you have told us.

forevernow · Feb 23, 2008, 05:40 AM

It feels that your heart is reaching out, and your emotions are coming up to the surface. See if you can let these emotions go. It's not the same as expressing or suppressing them, but releasing them like opening up a pressure bottled wine ;)

When all these emotions are up and out, you'll be feeling happier and more joyous.

We're here to listen and support if you need anything. Welcome to the site, by the way.

P. S. I love you
... jk!

psiloveyou · Feb 23, 2008, 10:22 AM

Thanks for the help.
I was going to say, because I'm not exactly confident I tend not to talk about how I feel. I feel like I'm a bit of a burden if I'm complaining to people. Plus myself esteem isn't that high so I always end up blaming myself.
I probably will end up going to the doctors for a check-up to be honest. For a while now, I've had the problem of shaking and feeling very light headed if I don't have something sugary or I miss a meal, but other times it's just spontaneous. I can't control it, so it might all be connected somehow I guess?
A lot of the time I feel worse because I get so lonely. It means I have far too much time to just think about all the negative points, instead of making more positive memories really.
Xxx.

shygrneyzs · Feb 23, 2008, 11:14 AM

Going to the University is major life transition. If you are leaving home and going to be a resident as well as student at that University, yes, this prospect can cause the anxiety.

Getting checked out by a doctor is a wise choice. You want to make sure you are physically well. Please do explain all your symptoms and stress (with the crying). It is not complaining at all. It is called taking care of yourself.

Good luck to you.

psiloveyou · Feb 25, 2008, 07:24 AM

I do agree it would be a good idea to have a check up at the doctors, but the only problem is finding the time. I always in work or college, and when I'm not my mum and dad don't let me out.
I was down again today. I was sat with a group of friends and it felt as though they were completely blanking me. But it was actually because I was just daydreaming again.

talaniman · Feb 25, 2008, 08:51 AM

Make the time, instead of daydreaming with friends.

fubby · Feb 29, 2008, 10:54 PM

^ yeah, I was going to suggest purposely daydreaming at times when it wouldn't affect what you're doing.

daydreaming is fun,but what do you daydream about? And why? I wonder if you're daydreaming about something you want to happen in your life.
I know usually when I daydream it's about a fantasy, something I want.
maybe you want your life to be different and this is why you're upset often?
or maybe you really don't know what you're daydreaming about..
are you avoiding conversations with your friends? How comfortable are you around them?
just a thought!

sounds like all that time in your bedroom is not helping your mental situation. Maybe you need more interactions and activities to go out and do... maybe you could talk to your parents about that. And if they are not understanding, then maybe you'll get the chance to do this whenever you move out! I guess try and take in the things to do while you're out, try and make yourself talk to your friends and put off daydreaming until later.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful...
I wish I knew more about you or the situation, I remember awhile ago feeling EXACTLY how you described. And I'm not like it anymore, so I guess that means there is hope!

Good luck my dear!

psiloveyou · Mar 1, 2008, 09:16 AM

A lot of the time I just daydream about things that would be nice to happen but never do.
Other times its as though I just switch off and when I snap back to reality I can't remember what I was thinking of.
I sometimes feel like its wrong of me to join in conversations. Especially when my friends are talking about things they've done together and I wasn't involved because my parents wouldn't let me.
My parents don't seem to understand, and say that I should respect what they say and they're doing it to protect me. But in the long run, its just damaging me more. Because now I have low confidence, low self-esteem and am just totally fed up with being imprisoned. I just feel trapped.

talaniman · Mar 1, 2008, 09:45 AM

Be patient, I have a good feeling, you will be more independent soon, as you are at the age to make your own decisions.

fubby · Mar 2, 2008, 05:29 PM

I understand. :(

I hope your situation lighens up for you soon, just hang in there! A lot of the time we think our life is just going to be the same forever - until suddenly it isn't - and then we can't believe how much time we spent feeling down.

Are you shy?
Or unable to start trying things to get more independence?
Because you could always start saving up your money to move out!
Or do ou feel that your parents get too offended by that?

I understand what it is like to feel trapped, I have been in a similar situation that changed a few years ago.
Hang in there!

If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to email me!
[email protected]

Take care

N0help4u · Mar 2, 2008, 06:51 PM

You could be having anxiety.
Change your eating habits.
Eat small healthy snacks through the day.
Eat less sugar and more protein and B vitamins
Your blood sugar may be off too. You really should find time to go to the doctors.

psiloveyou · Mar 3, 2008, 12:09 PM

I'm not sure if its anything to do with anxiety, because I've not really had much chance to research it, but I usually get what I call 'the shakes' when I haven't eaten for a while (where my whole body shakes and if I hold my hand out flat in front of me you can actually see it shaking) and I also go light headed. However, lately I've been getting it more often, and its even after I've eaten. I can just be sat down and all of a sudden ill get the shakes, or ill go light headed.
I've assumed its some form of diabetes or something like that?
In regards to fubby's post, yeah I am really shy when it comes to going out, meeting people etc. I can sometimes be so shy that I would rather someone else went to the till in a shop before me just so I wasn't first, and I always walk behind people, not infornt where I can be noticed. I'm moving out in September anyway to go to university, but I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to do it because of my lack of confidence and not being used to having my independence.

talaniman · Mar 3, 2008, 01:05 PM

To overcome shyness be among people. Take baby steps and just say hello to those you interact with. Hello, how are you today is enough.

fubby · Mar 4, 2008, 09:21 AM

I'm not sure why I'm posting here so much! I think I can relate to you well... maybe that's it.

Yeah, "the shakes" definitely sounds like you need food, OR it could be anxiety. Well you're not sure if it is anxiety or not, but you should definitely look into it. Especially with being shy and having low confidence and worrying about your current situation.

A lot of anxiety comes from the difference between what your life is now and what you want it to be. I don't know if this is the case with you...

I'd say you'll feel 100% better once you're moved out and you can call the shots.

I'm just so curious, what do you WANT your life to be like?
Who would be in it, where would you be, what would your daily routine be like?

And also, you say you're shy (and I'll believe you if you say it) but you said you have a job? So you mustn't be TOO shy? :)

psiloveyou · Mar 4, 2008, 03:32 PM

I just want my life to have a bit if variety, instead of always being the same.
I want to be able to come home after college, and just for a few hours think 'you know what? I'm going to go see a friend. Have a good chat. I've not that in a while!'
But I don't. I go to college. Then I either go to work and come home or just go straight home. I spend all night every night just on the internet because I have nothing else to do. I stay in my room from five till eleven, then I go to bed. Weekends I get up, and stay in my room all day, then go to bed. The end.
And I know I have a job, but I go into work where I talk on the phone so people can't see me, and I'm really quiet- people don't even notice I'm there.

psiloveyou · Mar 10, 2008, 07:39 AM

Saturday night my mum decided would be a good time to have a go at me because she said I'd been moody all day, when actually I'd just been really quiet because I'd been down.
She found a webcam that my friend had given me so that we can stay in touch once we both go to uni etc, but my mum as always has problems with trust, so she took it off me because she assumes I'm going to be showing off to loads of men on there... which is odd considering I've never even had a proper boyfriend!
She then said that I had to stop chatting to some people. I met them on a trip to london with college, but they actually go to the college over the other side of manchester. My mum said they are from the bad side of manchester so they will be a bad influence.
I ended up spending Saturday night lay on my bed staring at nothing, with my laptop and my phone packed away because I was so tired on my mum suspecting me with everything. I lat on my bed crying till about eleven, then I went down and my mum was acting as though nothing had happened, so I said good night and went to bed but hardly slept.
I give up. I feel like I'm in a prison and the friends I had were the only bit of independence I had. Now my mum is trying to control that too. I don't know what to do.