[jolienoire]

[QUOTE] I just want to say to any women that read this... If you don't want to be with a guy, end it quick and end it ugly. Make him HATE you. Make sure he is GLAD your leaving. Give him the tools he needs to turn his pain into ANGER because anger is the best way for a guy to get over it. You may think its better to let him down easy but the truth is that's just easier on yourself. GROW A PAIR and just end things brutally and ugly. The guy you dump is your enemy. Treat him like it. He'lll thank you in the long run. Hope keeps him from getting angry enough to get over you. CRUSH THE HOPE as quick as possible for him.
QUOTE]


UMMM No, I personally don't like to have animocity towards anyone life is too short for that. No need to play mind games making someone hate you when you love him.. She can love you but may not be in love with you there is a difference..
There are some people in my life who I love and can't stand.. Can't be around them but love them.. Everyone has someone like that... But that's beside the point Loving someone is letting go even if it hurts.

My ex husband cheated, yes cheated on me ruined my kids life and mine, I didn't hate him for it even though I could easily have I hated what he had done.. . I was hurt very hurt, but if he loved me that much he wouldn't have hurt me, I would have rather for him to say let's separate/divorce before he decided to cheat.. Sometimes, it's better that the person prevent hurting you further by being honest rather than misleading you to a path of nowhere. As I stated before I rather hate someone for telling me the truth than love them for telling me lies... But that deadline bs, is a bunch of nonsense... Love don't have deadlines... anyway.. I hope that you heal and remember. That you will look back at this and laugh...

[ihatewestseneca]

Well I feel SICK right now. SICK. Its another guy for sure, but she hasn't come out and told me. I did something sick to find out. I logged on to her facebook account (cause I know the password I set it up for her) and went to her inbox. One of her friends asked her how she was doing and she replied not good. She said that she was starting to have feelings for one of her coworkers and asked for a month break from her boyfriend (me) to clear her head.

Been there, done that... NOTHING good can come from checking her Facebook... personally, I got rid of the damn thing, it's a retarded website anyway. I found the same words she used to say to me, cept they were sent to another guy she started seeing almost immediately after we broke up... mind you, at this time they've only been together a month, LD, over the phone... it hurt bad... although, this helped me realize and enforce the truth that she is a liar and cheater, so at that moment I stopped kidding myself and got serious about the healing process.

Now I'm dating again... only been on 2 but I think that's pretty good (cept one was a date from hell, lol) Things get better my man, as you'll find out. I can honestly say that I don't want her anymore, and that I miss who I thought she was. Yeah, we had an amazing relationship, but I'm not sure if I would want to try again if she wanted too... but it doesn't matter, what she thinks/does doesn't matter... I remember everything she told me when she broke up with me, and based on her actions, they were all lies... just a damn shame really.

[duck22]

It seems like these situations are like clockwork. I did the same thing with Facebook early into the breakup. What I saw hurt like hell but at least I found out the truth behind things. What hurt me the most wasn't her leaving me, it was all the lies involved when doing so. Even though it hurt so much, this is when reality finally kicked in and I began accepting the truth.

[SJB1701E]

I'm still struggling sometimes, just as you will. For example just yesterday, after days of not thinking about her, I randomly started to. I started to think that here I am, over 5 months later and I'm still single and can't find a girl even though I've been trying for sure, whereas she found a new boyfriend almost immediately and has been dating him for a couple of months. She's all but forgotten about me now. It sucks, because in a way I feel like she's robbed me of having a relationship and being in "girlfriend mode," which I feel like is the best version of myself, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel like she's royally screwed up my life, because when she said she wanted a "break" I had to move 30 minutes away, hang out with all new people, switch my job location, and lose my best friend and lover all in one. And it pisses me off because I'm not particularly good at meeting new girls, and it's gonna take me forever to find a new one.

Describes excactly how I feel... every word... I'm going to attempt to get my stuff Wednesday. No chit chat, no talking about what went wrong, no begging. I'll try not to cry. I won't let her talk to me about it to allieviate her own guilt. It made me sick she kept saying "I loved you more than you could know" "It was true love" "I care about you so much" I kept just telling her to shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP! but she wouldn't. I told her that's the last thing I wanted to hear. She also said I made a few mistakes those first couple days (including drunk dialing) that made her decide not to come back. She said she was going to come back before I accused her of cheating. It sounded like an excuse to me. I told her that if she had been in love with me she would have communicated with me before it got to this point. She again insisted that she did love me "more than I could know" and that it was true love. But said that that wasn't enough reason to fix things anymore and that this past week she fell "out of love". I went to bed...

[SJB1701E]

[QUOTE=jolienoire]

I just want to say to any women that read this.... If you don't want to be with a guy, end it quick and end it ugly. Make him HATE you. Make sure he is GLAD your leaving. Give him the tools he needs to turn his pain into ANGER because anger is the best way for a guy to get over it. You may think its better to let him down easy but the truth is thats just easier on yourself. GROW A PAIR and just end things brutally and ugly. The guy you dump is your enemy. Treat him like it. He'lll thank you in the long run. Hope keeps him from getting angry enough to get over you. CRUSH THE HOPE as quick as possible for him.
QUOTE]


UMMM No, I personally don't like to have animocity towards anyone life is too short for that. No need to play mind games making someone hate you when you love him.. She can love you but may not be in love with you there is a difference..
Their are some people in my life who I love and can't stand.. Can't be around them but love them.. Everyone has someone like that... But that's beside the point Loving someone is letting go even if it hurts.

My ex husband cheated, yes cheated on me ruined my kids life and mine, I didn't hate him for it even though I could easily have I hated what he had done.. .I was hurt very hurt, but if he loved me that much he wouldn't have hurt me, I would have rather for him to say let's separate/divorce before he decided to cheat.. Sometimes, it's better that the person prevent hurting you further by being honest rather than misleading you to a path of nowhere. as i stated before I rather hate someone for telling me the truth than love them for telling me lies.... But that deadline bs, is a bunch of nonsense... Love don't have deadlines... anyway.. I hope that you heal and remember. That you will look back at this and laugh...

Hate eliminates false hope. And saves you a lot of the heartache... Its hard to let go of someone you love. Its easy to drop someone that you hate. Then in a short time you stop caring to even hate the person and just act like they were never in you life. I don't want to hear any of that "she was in your life for a reason" stuff, I just wish she never had been. I really wish to God I had NEVER had her in my life. That I never knew her, never opened up to her, never had the most passionate intimate sex I've ever had with her, I wish she was never in my life. No lessons. No learning from the loss. I just wish it all never happened. I wish the world were so perfect that the first person you met would be your "soul mate" the person you will spend the rest of your life with and that no one in the world ever know heartache. I wish to God I'd NEVER met her and I mean every word of that.

[duck22]

She also said I made a few mistakes those first couple days (including drunk dialing) that made her decide not to come back. She said she was going to come back before I accused her of cheating. It sounded like an excuse to me. I told her that if she had been in love with me she would have communicated with me before it got to this point. She again insisted that she did love me "more than I could know" and that it was true love. But said that that wasn't enough reason to fix things anymore and that this past week she fell "out of love". I went to bed...

This definitely sounds like excuses she has made up to justify breaking you off completely. My guess is that she has a guilty conscious about the whole situation and wants to point the finger at anybody (you in this case) but herself. Im not saying you are a saint, but I do not think anything you possibly did week would make somebody who truly loves you to "fall out of love" beyond repair. Do you honestly think if you went NC from day 1 that she would have came back? Do not be a sucker for her anymore and focus on yourself now. Good luck getting your stuff back, it will only be weird if you let it.

[SJB1701E]

And what else makes me SICK is the thought of her comparing me to her next boyfriend. Telling him about all the ways he's better than me. In actuallity he'll be almost exactly the same as me, just like I was almost exactly like her last boyfriend personality and looks wise. She said the difference was mine and hers "chemistry" especially between the sheets. We we're great in bed together. I heard all about her last boyfriends sexual short comings. I wonder what shortcommings of mine she'll tell the next boyfriend to boost his ego. If I could I would remove every last memory of our relationship from both of our minds. I don't want her remembering me and I sure as hell wish I didn't remember her.

[SJB1701E]

This definitely sounds like excuses she has made up to justify breaking you off completely. My guess is that she has a guilty conscious about the whole situation and wants to point the finger at anybody (you in this case) but herself. Im not saying you are a saint, but I do not think anything you possibly did week would make somebody who truly loves you to "fall out of love" beyond repair. Do you honestly think if you went NC from day 1 that she would have came back? Do not be a sucker for her anymore and focus on yourself now. Good luck getting your stuff back, it will only be weird if you let it.

My thoughts too. I told her she killed our relationship. She told me it was both of us. I told her it was her, because I was willing to work out our problems and she wasn't. I'm not going to let her blame me to make herself feel better. I'm not perfect but at least I was willing to try. Nothing we had was beyond repair. It was her unwillingness to work on it that killed the relationship. She just wants me to be the bad guy.

[jolienoire]

[QUOTE=SJB1701E]

Hate eliminates false hope. And saves you alot of the heartache... Its hard to let go of someone you love. Its easy to drop someone that you hate. Then in a short time you stop caring to even hate the person and just act like they were never in you life. I don't want to hear any of that "she was in your life for a reason" stuff, I just wish she never had been. I really wish to God I had NEVER had her in my life. That I never knew her, never opened up to her, never had the most passionate intimate sex I've ever had with her, I wish she was never in my life. No lessons. No learning from the loss. I just wish it all never happened. I wish the world were so perfect that the first person you met would be your "soul mate" the person you will spend the rest of your life with and that no one in the world ever know heartache. I wish to God I'd NEVER met her and I mean every word of that.

I understand your frustration I have been where you are if not worse, I was married, I have two beautiful children the man I loved so deeply bruised me, he cheated on me a few times, even got married not long after we divorced... I would never tell you anything that I didn't experience... I even met up with my first my high school sweetheart 10 years later, after my divorce and children... In fact we are together... It's like that saying I love the way you love but I hate the way I love you back... Listen to me or read me, but everyone once in their life will experience a heartbreak, Its inevitable, its will happen now or later... better now while you are young where you can bounce back or marry someone and realize that you and this person was never meant to be... You don't see the positive things about loving and losing... but you will see trust me... I am not sugar coating anything for you or giving you false hopes but the reality is that Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated. Trust me... Loving is letting go, if you truly loved her you will be happy whether it is with or without you... I know it sounds cliché, but it is what it is... You will see... But I can't tell you what to feel or how not to feel but know that I been there done that... In a far more uglier situation than you are in and I survived... :-)

[SJB1701E]

Not my first heartache, but certainly the worst. And the thing that stung is hearing the same things said to me that the girl before her said. Now its like, two girls broke up with me reading from the same script and I'm like "what the fuk is wrong with me?!?" Two completely different women say the same things to me. It makes me feel like I'm the problem, even when I know I'm a good guy.

[jolienoire]

Not my first heartache, but certainly the worst. And the thing that stung is hearing the same exact things said to me that the girl before her said. Now its like, two girls broke up with me reading from the same script and I'm like "what the fuk is wrong with me?!?" Two completely different women say the same things to me. It makes me feel like I'm the problem, even when I know I'm a good guy.

Sounds like their problem to me... nothing is wrong with you... you are who you are... they just couldn't deal with that, how is that your problem all of a sudden there is a woman out there searching for someone just like you... praying to GOD that a man like you come her way... trust me..

[talaniman]

Not my first heartache, but certainly the worst. And the thing that stung is hearing the same exact things said to me that the girl before her said. Now its like, two girls broke up with me reading from the same script and I'm like "what the fuk is wrong with me?!?" Two completely different women say the same things to me. It makes me feel like I'm the problem, even when I know I'm a good guy.

Lol, me too!

[talaniman]

sounds like their problem to me...nothing is wrong with you... you are who you are... they just couldn't deal with that, how is that your problem all of a sudden their is a woman out there searching for someone just like you... praying to GOD that a man like you come her way... trust me..

When you do get that ONE, you'll thank all those exes for letting you go, I did! Of course you can't see that now, but trust me you will.:eek:

[SJB1701E]

I wish the ex's didn't ever happen. Especially not this one. The one before I loved but wasn't in love with. I was hurt by rejection but over it. I didn't feel like this. This one I was in love with deeply, and it hurts too much. I feel like the past 2 years have been all lies from her. I just wish I'd never met her. I wish to God she was never in my life. How many more times do I have to go through this? Its WORSE every time. I'm closer every time. I only want to love one more person in my life, and have her be the person I marry and grow old with. I don't want to go through this anymore. I want 1 more, and that to be the one for me. No more lies no more heartache. Is it too much to ask God not to let me suffer like this again?! I wish to God I'd never met that girl... Why can't god just once answer my prayer... All things are possible through God, so why can't he just whipe her existence from my memory... I can't stand more heartache... I don't want to remember her and if God won't make me forget her immediately, then I might have to find something else that can...

[ihatewestseneca]

I wanted to forget everything about my ex too... but I see things differently now, it's hard, but I can look back on all the great times we've had together and kind of be happy, I'm happy they even happened, and yeah, it hurts like hell that I'll have to make new memories with someone else because I really thought we had something special... everything happens and doesn't happen to teach you something... this is called experience. I don't think you should want to completely forget her, but I think you should be thankful that it happened, that you were able to love someone as much as you did...

It's a damn shame what happened, but at least you can look back knowing you tried your best, that you gave it everything you had and more... and if you think you didn't then you shouldn't be this upset, and you should evaluate your performance and try even harder the next time.

I know I gave it my all, and that the reason my ex and I didn't work out was never my fault... how could it be, I gave it everything I had and more, if she doesn't want that anymore then I'm sure there's someone just as cute, just as funny, just as everything she was, if not better! A girl that will be everything I thought my ex was. Im 21, you're 22... its bound to happen that we will both meet that girl.

And I really hope Tal is right when he says that one day ill be thankful she kicked me to the curb... as far as I can see, Tal hasn't really steered anyone wrong yet, so I believe him, and you should too.

[SJB1701E]

I have no fulfillment in my life, I hate school, it's a means to an end i.e. a job. I hate my just because I feel insignifigant and I know I will never "make a difference" doing what I do. My life makes no ones better. My family and friends could do without me if I never existed. They don't need me. Happy to have me, but not need me. Love me, but not need me. I thought the girlfriend needed me. It made me feel like my life actually was making someone else's better just being in it. She proves she don't need me either. I am not needed. I serve no devine purpose. I feel empty, even since I was a lot younger. My life is pointless unless my life makes other people's better. I don't get any fullfilment doing things for myself. Nothing I do for myself makes me feel good. It makes me feel guilty. And when other people do something good for me, I feel guilty. What the hell is wrong with me?! My life feels pointless. My life has felt pointless most of the years I've been living it...

[SJB1701E]

I wanted to forget everything about my ex too... but i see things differently now, it's hard, but i can look back on all the great times we've had together and kind of be happy, im happy they even happened, and yeah, it hurts like hell that i'll have to make new memories with someone else because i really thought we had something special... everything happens and doesn't happen to teach you something... this is called experience. i dont think you should want to completely forget her, but i think you should be thankful that it happened, that you were able to love someone as much as you did...

Its a damn shame what happened, but at least you can look back knowing you tried your best, that you gave it everything you had and more... and if you think you didn't then you shouldn't be this upset, and you should evaluate your performance and try even harder the next time.

I know i gave it my all, and that the reason my ex and i didn't work out was never my fault... how could it be, i gave it everything i had and more, if she doesn't want that anymore then im sure theres someone just as cute, just as funny, just as everything she was, if not better! a girl that will be everything i thought my ex was. Im 21, you're 22... its bound to happen that we will both meet that girl.

And i really hope Tal is right when he says that one day ill be thankful she kicked me to the curb... as far as i can see, Tal hasn't really steered anyone wrong yet, so i believe him, and you should too.

As far as I'm concerned I would have rather skipped this one, and the last one, and just gotten to the important one. I mean the one that will last. I would rather have gotten all my experience growing with "the one." Skip all the ones that aren't permanent. I HATE dating. Even in high school my friends all told me all I wanted was a wife. I just want permenancy. To me that is living my life. To me my life is going to be the day I start a family. All this other crap is just delays and worthless pain. I never pushed this on my exgirlfriends, but inside this has always been my desire. I'm sick of being hurt and I'm ready to be done with being hurt.

[SJB1701E]

Someone Help Me Please!!

[jolienoire]

Someone Help Me Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the problem now?

[SJB1701E]

I'm seriously considering spending the next few months high on cocaine and prozac right now. I don't want to feel. I don't want to remember. I want to be numb...