[smoothy]

Nitpicking.

I agree... if you love the woman who cares if she's a vigin or not. Particularly once you are in your 20's. Personally I'd be pissed if she lied about being one but I wouldn't care if she wasn't if she was honest. Most of my girlfriends weren't.

Sure way to get a quick divorce? Give the new groom of a "virgin" bride syphilis , gonorrhea, or aids she contracted while not having sex with other guys before the marriage.

[Choux]

LOL... you lost me when you talked about the *spandex hymens*!

Have a good one!


Choux

[Allheart]

I really can't believe this debate still goes on. I see so many answers that include "I believe" and "its my opinion" and the like. But the problem is, its NOT something one believes nor is it something subject to opinion. It IS very cut and dried. A virgin is someone who has not experienced penetration of a vagina by a penis. End of story! There should not be and can't be any debate on the issue any more than one can debate gravity.

Yes the definitions of purity, chastity, sexual experience, etc are subject to debate. Those issue are more a matter of personal opinion. Morality is somewhat fluid and people have more liberal views then they did 40 or more years ago. Its almost expected these days that one has had some sexual experience.

And if someone wants to change the definition of virginity, then go to Websters, Funk and Wagnells, etc. and get the definition changed. But until that happens, what constitutes being a virgin is a matter of fact, not opinion.

ELLO - I think some of you may have missed this post. Well worth the read.

[smoothy]

eLLO - I think some of you may have missed this post. Well worth the read.

Dictionary:
virgin
(vûr'jĭn) pronunciation

n.

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.
5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or being a virgin; chaste.
2. Being in a pure or natural state; unsullied: virgin snow.
3. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored: virgin territory.
4. Existing in native or raw form; not processed or refined.
5. Happening for the first time; initial.
6. Obtained directly from the first pressing: virgin olive oil.
7. Zoology. Producing fertile eggs without copulating.

[Middle English, from Old French virgine, from Latin virgō, virgin-.]

Thesaurus: virgin

Noun

A pure, uncorrupted person: angel, innocent, lamb. See clean/dirty, right/wrong.

Adjective

Morally beyond reproach, especially in sexual conduct: chaste, decent, modest, nice, pure, virginal, virtuous. See good/bad, restraint/unrestraint, sex/asexual.



I know the Pollitically correct crowd likes to twist things within an inch of their life so they can have them both ways... which is wrong. This is the full definition of the word.


If you want to be a blow job queen, have at it, but don't pretend to be a virgin. Its not like most people really care if you are or not. But it is what it is.

[Synnen]

Dictionary:
virgin
(vûr'jĭn) pronunciation

n.

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.
5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or being a virgin; chaste.
2. Being in a pure or natural state; unsullied: virgin snow.
3. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored: virgin territory.
4. Existing in native or raw form; not processed or refined.
5. Happening for the first time; initial.
6. Obtained directly from the first pressing: virgin olive oil.
7. Zoology. Producing fertile eggs without copulating.

[Middle English, from Old French virgine, from Latin virgō, virgin-.]

Thesaurus: virgin

noun

A pure, uncorrupted person: angel, innocent, lamb. See clean/dirty, right/wrong.

adjective

Morally beyond reproach, especially in sexual conduct: chaste, decent, modest, nice, pure, virginal, virtuous. See good/bad, restraint/unrestraint, sex/asexual.



I know the Pollitically correct crowd likes to twist things within an inch of their life so they can have them both ways......which is wrong. This is the full definition of the word.

See bolded word above--in the number one definition (meaning it's the most common definition).

While a thesaurus will help us understand a word by given similar words, those words do not necessarily mean the same thing.

[Allheart]

Dictionary:
virgin
(vûr'jĭn) pronunciation

n.

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.
5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or being a virgin; chaste.
2. Being in a pure or natural state; unsullied: virgin snow.
3. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored: virgin territory.
4. Existing in native or raw form; not processed or refined.
5. Happening for the first time; initial.
6. Obtained directly from the first pressing: virgin olive oil.
7. Zoology. Producing fertile eggs without copulating.

[Middle English, from Old French virgine, from Latin virgō, virgin-.]

Thesaurus: virgin

noun

A pure, uncorrupted person: angel, innocent, lamb. See clean/dirty, right/wrong.

adjective

Morally beyond reproach, especially in sexual conduct: chaste, decent, modest, nice, pure, virginal, virtuous. See good/bad, restraint/unrestraint, sex/asexual.



I know the Pollitically correct crowd likes to twist things within an inch of their life so they can have them both ways......which is wrong. This is the full definition of the word.

Gotcha... in that context... I would agree with what you are saying. But not so much with what the OP was asking. I agreed with the answer, if he had been asked an accurate response would have been, Yes, I am a virgin, but I have fooled around.

In a spirtual/religous context - No, he would not be pure or "virginal".

[smoothy]

Dictionary:
virgin
(vûr'jĭn) pronunciation

n.

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.
5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or being a virgin; chaste.
2. Being in a pure or natural state; unsullied: virgin snow.
3. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored: virgin territory.
4. Existing in native or raw form; not processed or refined.
5. Happening for the first time; initial.
6. Obtained directly from the first pressing: virgin olive oil.
7. Zoology. Producing fertile eggs without copulating.

[Middle English, from Old French virgine, from Latin virgō, virgin-.]

Thesaurus: virgin

noun

A pure, uncorrupted person: angel, innocent, lamb. See clean/dirty, right/wrong.

adjective

Morally beyond reproach, especially in sexual conduct: chaste, decent, modest, nice, pure, virginal, virtuous. See good/bad, restraint/unrestraint, sex/asexual.



I know the Pollitically correct crowd likes to twist things within an inch of their life so they can have them both ways......which is wrong. This is the full definition of the word.


If you want to be a blow job queen, have at it, but don't pretend to be a virgin. Its not like most people really care if you are or not. But it is what it is.

Allheart see those other highlighted words...

Virgins don't have sexual experience many long time married women don't have. And that includes Oral and Anal sex. Parsing words like Bill Clinton did when he committed perjury under oath saying he did not have sex with that woman even in light of the speckled blue dress proved otherwise makes any difference.

[NeedKarma]

I agreed with the answer, if he had been asked an accurate response would have been, Yes, I am a virgin, but I have fooled around.

In a spirtual/religous context - No, he would not be pure or "virginal".

Bingo!

[smoothy]

Bingo!

That's exactly the same as saying you are "a little bit" pregnant. You either are or you aren't.

[Allheart]

This is a terrible question and I hesitate to ask it.

First, Smoothy - your points I do understand and get. When reading your words, I picutre a bunch of nuns sitting around the table drinking tea (welcome to my mind)

Anyway - I do get what you are saying. But for this young man's question I don't think it applies.

But let's move it further - and again, hate to even bring this up, but... someone who is molested, but no intercourse, are you saying they are not a virgin now?

Believe me smoothly, I hold hard and fast rules about certain things, this being one of them and I hope this wonderful young man stays just who he is, because he sounds like a treasure. So for young people today, in this area I do not give free passes.

In the context this young man was asking - I still feel his answer should be, yes I am a virgin, but have fooled around.

Now I tried in my mind to flip it around if it were a girl asking, and I come up with the same answer.

( I did that as I hold girls to a stricter set of rules, I'm not right I know, but I do).

Sorry to bring up the terrible question, but it popped in my head.

[smoothy]

If someone wants to remain a virgin its simple... don't have any form of sex with another.

If being a virgin really mattered to them they would abide by that.

If fooling around means that much to them then just why in the hell do they want to insist on being called a virgin when they aren't.

As many have said... there really is no stigma to not being a virgin.

So why lie about it. Its no different than a married man or woman fooling around with others and claiming they aren't having sex or feelings because its just "oral" or Anal" and vaginal penetration wasn't occurring so it doesn't count.

Its all Politically correct B.S.. and not different than Michael Jackson wanting to be white.

He can have all the plastic surgery money can buy....he can bleach his skin until he resembles an albino..... but in the end no matter what he claims...he's still a black man.

Just because a mass murderer believes he was innocent.....he's still a mass murderer and will be till the day he dies. You can't take it back once its done.


And no...a rape victim or a molestation victim isn't a virgin. Thats the way it is. You are only innocent once.


And to the OP ....sex is sex.....oral, anal vaginal or masturbating another. Do it and you aren't a virgin. If being a virgin was important to you then abstain. You can't have it both ways.

Like pregnancy you can't have it both ways....there is no "a little bit pregnant" You either are, or you aren't.

[Allheart]

I'm not being PC - I just think this young man is a virgin who has had sexual experiences.
When your young... I think you find yourself in certain situations and stop before it gets too far and you loose your virginity.

I think we just see it differently.

You believe... no sexual contact at all = Virgin

Any sexual contact = not virgin.

I can understand that but I still feel this young man is still a virgin and I hope he meets a very nice young lady :)

[excon]

are you still considered a virgin?

Hello confused:

Considered to be a virgin by whom?? Your lover??

Look, I'm a loophole kind of guy. I LOVE loopholes. However, when you use loopholes to fool your lover, it's not quite the same as using loopholes to fool the government.

Is that who this technical discussion is aimed at? Your lover? If you don't want him to know you've indulged in sex, lie to him. The only difference between lying to him and using this loophole, is that you'll feel better.

excon

[Allheart]

I think the young man's goal when writing this, is he wants to be honest and tell the truth, but he didn't know what the answer was.

He sounds like a sweetheart :)

[smoothy]

I think the young man's goal when writing this, is he wants to be honest and tell the truth, but he didn't know what the answer was.

He sounds like a sweetheart :)

All he has to do is be honest... stretch the truth or tell a lie it will reflect bad upon you and eventually catch you in the lie.

People get more upset about being lied to than being told the truth. Besides... you never have to remember what story the truth was... but you will eventually forget what story you used with the lie was.

[ScottGem]

And no...a rape victim or a molestation victim isn't a virgin. Thats the way it is. You are only innocent once.

And to the OP ....sex is sex.....oral, anal vaginal or masturbating another. Do it and you aren't a virgin. If being a virgin was important to you then abstain. You can't have it both ways.

You can believe this all you want. But it doesn't alter the hard facts of what defines a virgin. The fact is you are trying to put a moral definition on a physical fact.

You want the anyone who engages in sexual activity on any level to be defined as having lost their virginity. But then you claim a rape or molestation victim has also lost their innocence. Sorry, but that doesn't meet the facts.

You have to separate the moral aspects of engaging in sexual activity with the physical fact of virginity. As much as you may not want to do it, it has to be done.

[Synnen]

Guess what?

It's not a problem if he says what Allheart said: I'm a virgin with some sexual experience

This is getting to be a circular argument, and I'd like to hear back from the OP at this point to hear whether any of this has clarified ANYTHING for him, or whether he's just more confused now--because I certainly am.

[Allheart]

All he has to do is be honest.....stretch the truth or tell a lie it will reflect bad upon you and eventually catch you in the lie.

People get more upset about being lied to than being told the truth. Besides....you never have to remember what story the truth was....but you will eventually forget what story you used with the lie was.

I am one of those people. I beg those close to me... PLEASE always tell me the truth. You are so right. He had no problem being a virgin, not being a virgin, he just wasn't sure. And then we all took over :D Poor kid :).

He could say, I have not had intercourse, but I have had sexual experiences.

See, because, if this very nice young lady that he will meet, asks him, Are you a virgin?
And he says "No". Guess what she is thinking??

So, when he answers, he should then be very clear and not to dance around the truth, but to make sure she understands what that truth is.

[smoothy]

You can believe this all you want. But it doesn't alter the hard facts of what defines a virgin. The fact is you are trying to put a moral definition on a physical fact.

You want the anyone who engages in sexual activity on any level to be defined as having lost their virginity. But then you claim a rape or molestation victim has also lost their innocence. Sorry, but that doesn't meet the facts.

You have to separate the moral aspects of engaging in sexual activity with the physical fact of virginity. As much as you may not want to do it, it has to be done.

Scott think about what you just said... a virgin girl is a rape victim... she gets pregnant, Has the baby... so are you going to argue she is equal to the Virgin Mary? Because you would be arguing here is a virgin... and she is a mother.


You are a virgin only once. When its gone, its gone. You don't get it back. And that's the unfortunate truth about rape and molestation. They can never get back what was taken from them. And pretending doesn't make it so.

[smoothy]

I am one of those people. I beg those close to me...PLEASE always tell me the truth. You are so right. He had no problem being a virgin, not being a virgin, he just wasn't sure. And then we all took over :D Poor kid :).

He could say, I have not had intercourse, but I have had sexual experiences.

See, because, if this very nice young lady that he will meet, asks him, Are you a virgin?
And he says "No". Guess what she is thinking?????

So, when he answers, he should then be very clear and not to dance around the truth, but to make sure she understands what that truth is.

I agree with that. Most people won't care about virginity... particularly a guy being a virgin... but if he lies about it, that's a far worse thing.