[southern delight]

A boy, four years younger to me, has known me for five years and says that he loves me and wants to settle down with me. He is 24 and professionally doing well, and I too have a good career. The problem, is, first: we donot not meet , its been a few years that we have not met, we are daily in touch over emails and sms texts, I once tried meeting him but some imporatnt work came in and we postponed. Which is the reason I can't be sure I have really a future with him, even if he says so.
Second is the age gap, as I being a girl am elder by a few years. I am really confused whether this 'relationship' can be sustained.

[JBeaucaire]

You don't have a relationship yet, you have a penpal. That you have a lot in common is great. Is it love or the basis for a family? I don't know... and neither do you. Admit it.

A man is what he does. So all you can know for sure about this guy, and I mean the ONLY thing you can know for sure, is that he has an email address and cell phone (for texting).

Absolutely everything else he has said may be a bald-faced fabrication. Admit it. It's possible.

Remember the old adage: Believe nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.

That puts you in a tough spot since your relationship is nothing but words heard.

So, in a nutshell, OF COURSE you won't even consider settling down forever with a penpal. If you two are reaching the point of actually starting to DATE, then do that.

Everything has to change. Contact by actual voice only, followed by real human face-to-face dates for months to make sure what you've been told pans out to be real. Start courting for REAL. No rash decisions, no headlong jumping. It's time for him to start SHOWING you he is a good match for you by proving it IN PERSON for quite some time.

If all that pans out, Excelllent! Good catch, have a great life.

Start this process today. Voice only... and face-to-face. Your penpal needs to become a real-life boyfriend and then earn the role of husband. And you need to earn the role of wife. Keep it real.

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, you need to get to know the man in person before you commit to a life with him. I agree with JB, he is a wonderful penpal and an amazing friend. Yes, you probably do have a romantic and strong emotional connection to him, but you need to experience the realness of daily life.

The age difference is relative if you are compatible and complete each other.

But, that "if you are compatible and complete each other" cannot be determined until you are actually together... e-compatible and e-complete are very different than actual, physical completing.

Good luck to you, hon. Get to know the man... bring him to meet your family... let him into your daily life... and expect the same in return. :)

[talaniman]

I am really confused whether this 'relationship' can be sustained.

You must start one in person first. This texting stuff is not the answer. Find out for yourself, if he is telling the truth, or feeding you a BS line. Face to face, then you can decide. If you don't have time, then you will never know.

[Fr_Chuck]

The age is not even enough to make mention ( really) the fact you don't really know each other, you are not dating is the issue. If you have an interst, date, go out and see what happenes ** assuming this is not some nation where arrange marriages happen