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Mina245 · Sep 14, 2007, 10:16 AM

Hey there,
To start I am going to say that I'm in a little dilemma here. I am currently single but me and my ex boyfriend still share communication, he visits me regularly, and we love each other. Now this is where the problem comes in. I've known this guy at work for a while and at first I thought he wouldn't be in to me, so I never paid any mind to him, even though I found him to be attractive and witty. About a two weeks ago my shift changed and I saw him everyday, we started to hit it off great, but there is just one problem. He is 27 and I am 18. I don't feel like it's a big big deal , but I can understand that if a relationship were to blossom from this, our families, friends, and maybe even some co-workers would have a problem with it. He isn't bothered by the age difference, he is just really wowed by my maturity and he says he can't label me as 18 because that's not what he sees when he looks at me. Now the pressing question is... How should I react if people around us have a problem with the relationship? And what would you feel the best approach would be in telling our families (eventually)? Oh and what should I do about the ex?. I want to stop the "comunication" that we have but I am certain he will take it extremely hard, so I don't want to hurt him! Help!! -Younger me.

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2007, 12:24 PM

I would be cautious here, only because you are just reaching adulthood and he has been there for awhile. But between two adults age doesn't matter that much.

I would take the relationship slowly (especially the physical side of it). But if it blossoms and you feel strongly about each other, then forget what others say. In a few years like 21 and 30, people won't bat an eye.

LearningAsIGo · Sep 14, 2007, 12:53 PM

He isn't bothered by the age difference, he is just really wowed by my maturity and he says he can't label me as 18 because that's not what he sees when he looks at me

He may not "see" you as 18, but you are. I'm 28 and the idea of dating someone your age doesn't seem right at all. If he doesn't see you as what you are, chances are that puts his own maturity level around 18 as well. Its not meant as any sort of insult toward you at all... simply that you know 10 years can mean a lot in life experiences.
My point in saying this is what you already know... people other than yourselves will frown upon your age difference because they know what potential problems may arise.

You won't really be able to say anything to convince people otherwise. The quality of your relationship together will show the other people in your life all they need to know.

Mandmo · Sep 16, 2007, 02:03 PM

I would give this relationship time. Right know you are still pretty young. A 9 year age difference right now is really difficult to work with. If it is meant to be then you to will end up together later on after you are done university. I know, it is very difficult to find someone around your age with maturity like you. Keep looking around, there has to be some cute guys in your classes that are smart and have a future plan a head of them. Who knows you might have been waiting in line at the cafeteria and your future husband might have been standing right behind you. And as for your ex boyfriend, make sure you are not sending him mixed signals. Let him know that IT IS OVER! Personally I think you two need a bit more space, your acting as though you are dating and some other guys might find that as a turn off. An older guy doesn't always mean that his is more mature get to know him first and the rest will follow

Ash123 · Sep 16, 2007, 02:10 PM

i would say IF you really want to do this - GO SLOWWWWWW. And BE PUBLIC.

... this should NOT be a private affair if it is going to have any respect between you - and legitimacy. Really. If it's someone at work, it's going to be tough already - and will be super stressful when it breaks up - so if it's public you at least know he's not hiding you.

I don't want to shock you, but I think he simply wants to sleep with you.
If that's all you want from him too, then go for it :-)

Obviously, you all are at totally different stages of life and there's no way to get serious on his part - or yours.

You are just now of the age of consent and it is sort of.. taboo... and some guys like that.

Still, I would look elsewhere though for the sake of your job.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 16, 2007, 02:38 PM

Girl, one of the biggest mistakes people make is having a relationship with someone they work with. Couple that with the fact that your 18 and he's 27, come one. 18 is 18. This guy has just discovered a fresh piece. Unless he has some kind of problem, he should be seeing you as a teenager not a love interest. The fact that he's looking should tell you he is a creep.
He is an older guy and has given your egeo a boost. Get over it! My advice, leave him alone. That is nothing but a big DANGER, HEARTBREAK DEAD AHEAD sign.

MIREYA · Sep 26, 2007, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Mina245

Hey there,
To start off I am going to say that I'm in a little dilemma here. I am currently single but me and my ex boyfriend still share communication, he visits me regularly, and we love each other. Now this is where the problem comes in. I've known this guy at work for a while and at first I thought he wouldnt be in to me, so I never payed any mind to him, even though I found him to be attractive and witty. About a two weeks ago my shift changed and I saw him everyday, we started to hit it off great, but there is just one problem. He is 27 and I am 18. I dont feel like its a big big deal , but I can understand that if a relationship were to blossom from this, our families, friends, and maybe even some co-workers would have a problem with it. He isnt bothered by the age difference, he is just really wowed by my maturity and he says he can't label me as 18 b/c thats not what he sees when he looks at me. Now the pressing question is...How should I react if people arround us have a problem with the relationship? And what would you feel the best approach would be in telling our families (eventually)? Oh and what should I do about the ex?...I want to stop the "comunication" that we have but I am certain he will take it extremely hard, so I dont want to hurt him! Help!!! -Younger me.

I'm in the same situation as you.. THe only thing is that I'm 24 and he's 38...
I been knowing him for a month, but be cautious cause this guy told me straight up that he's seen other girls besides me.. so just be careful with this guy..