[sweetwine]

I am 57 years old and have been divorced for 16 years. I'm a well-educated career woman and very nice looking. However, finding a potential mate has been nearly impossible. Finally, in the fall of last year I met the most wonderfully perfect man for me. We just clicked in every way. We had only 4 months together when he was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. He is 61 and told me he could no longer have a relationship because (1) he had to deal with illness, (2) he would never return as half a man, and (3) he wanted no support, but said he would walk this road alone. He did walk away. We no longer talk, except for a brief business-like email once in awhile. Its been 3 months since he walked away for cancer. I still love him. Do I sit and hope he'll be cured? It took 16 years to find him, how will I ever find another man at age 57? I've tried dating sites and when you meet it's like a job interview. Within 10 minutes either they like you or they don't. It is quite shallow. Do you think this perfect man for me will return?

SweetWine

[kp2171]

Sorry to hear this.

I don't have an answer for you... there's just no way to know if he will come back. He might not even know this himself.

The fear and the withdrawl is understandable, not to mention that, at least in my stubborn experience, men are less likely to ask for help... and this situation is compounded with it being prostrate related.

That said, its not fair to you. While you had only a short time together, it still seems sad that he cannot embrace your relationship at a time when support could be helpful.

Like I said... I have no real answer for you. Most of the time I tell people that putting your life on hold to wait for a person who has left is a mistake. But sometimes its worth a wait for a time. Is he refusing all contact?

Anyway, sorry to hear this. We "cavemen" run to our caves from time to time and it can be maddening to the women in our lives who deserve better.