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SensacionDelBloque · Feb 11, 2008, 03:36 PM

I'm 16 and I've been qoinq out with this boy for almost 3 weeks but we've been talking for 4 months and I've known him for a year. Well my friends have the same class as him and they tell me everything he does in that class. He flirts with a lot of girls but there is this one girl that's his friend and they both flirt a lot with each other. I've heard that they were sitting on each others laps and in class they sit at a table by themselves. My friends always ask him if he even cares about me and he says yes and they ask why he does all the things he does and he says their just friends. Even when he's walking down the hallway coming to my locker, they're always together and they walk with their arms around each other and she stands there at my locker with him and hugs him for a long time and she calls him her boo and her baby. And then today after school me and my friends were waiting for him and we started walking towards his class to get him and I saw him and that girl walking with their arms around each other and I saw him kiss her on the cheeck (I think). Maybe I was just seeing things but I think that's what it was. And she always tells him to text her and stuff. I don't know if what he's doing is wrong because he's only my fourth boyfriend and I'm kind of new to all this.

Coy Campbell · Feb 11, 2008, 03:38 PM

To tell you the truth I really do think its more then friends. There must be something else that he is thinking with this certain girl. No guy that has a girlfriend should be all up on any girl. Its wrong and who knows what you saw but there is something that should be done

Delow84 · Feb 11, 2008, 04:38 PM

I have a best friend who is a girl, and on top of that an EX. She is the playful, punch you in the arm big hug cause I haven't seen you in months (we live 3 hours apart). We are the oldest, and bestest of friends...

Even with all that, she doesn't have pet names for me (but she will call me names lol) we wouldn't walk with our arms around each other. And if there was kissing ever it might be on the cheek as a hello goodbye because we don't see each other cept maybe 2-3 times a year...

So you I would tend to lean toward there is more going on, and go with your instincts. It obviously bothers you, so why put up with it?

ISneezeFunny · Feb 11, 2008, 04:40 PM

Yeah... it's one thing to "flirt"... what that kid's doing is definitely more than flirting.

Leave that kid.

Sand Daddy · Feb 11, 2008, 04:49 PM

Sounds to me like he is trying to have his cake and eat it too.

It's also a sure fire way to get dumped.

SensacionDelBloque · Feb 11, 2008, 06:51 PM

Yea I figured that :( and the thing that makes me even more mad is that this girl knows me and him are together but she don't seem to care. And he knows the reasons I broke up with my exboyfriends because they cheated but he told me he was different and that I had nothing to worry about. I'm just surprised because me and him were really good friends for a year before we started going out and I don't know how he could do this to me... but thanks guys for the advice.. now I know its not just me

JBeaucaire · Feb 11, 2008, 07:20 PM

Maybe I'm alone in my opinion on this, so I'll ask - you and he have made some sort of exclusivity pact? You're BF/GF now? You're "going out" as the kids used to call it?

Even if the answer is YES, it IS only 3 weeks or so, right? I'd be a bit more pragmatic about this and tenderly bring up the changes in behaviors that BOTH of you agree to now as part of the new relationship status. Give each other time to settle into your new status and don't be overly jealous... yet.

If the answer above is NO, you are just starting to consider being exclusive but can't state with absolute certainty that you are, then he's just being a normal guy flirting around with several girls. No harm in that in this scenario.

SensacionDelBloque · Feb 11, 2008, 07:32 PM

Yes we're boyfriend and qirlfriend now and I know its only been three weeks but he knows me better than anyone else (except my best friend). And he knows I get jealous easily. If he didn't know so much about me and how I am then I wouldn't be expecting so much from him but yea I guess cause its only been three weeks so I guess only time will tell, right?

Delow84 · Feb 11, 2008, 07:40 PM

He's known you for a year you said right? Friends for that long? Well the moment you guys became 'exclusive' then he should be more considerate of your feelings and how you might react. How would he act if you did the same thing with a guy friend? $100 says he flips. Why because of a guilty conscience most likely.

All long term relationships start somewhere, the trust that strengthens those relationships that last, start in the beginning. If he knows it bothers you and persists, then it's wrong.

So tell him how you feel. See what happens from there. Even though he's known you so long, no one remembers everything. If it keeps on after you say something, there is a problem.

My 2cents :)

Simple Asian · Feb 11, 2008, 11:16 PM

well there are a lot of kind of flirt out there and it seem like he a player... he try to please everyone that possible... as meaning.. he want to be love by many ^^..

it not that he not faithfull to you.. it just that how he is... I no that so well b.c me myself also the same on ^^>... that why most of us guys like that don't go on relationship we just dates ^^

well to solve this problem... you just need to have a TALK with him.. say that you are hurt and it not right ^^... see how he react.. if he doesn't care..,. he not worth it... and you deserve much more better ^^ best wishes

HistorianChick · Feb 12, 2008, 07:32 AM

If it bothers you than yes, it is wrong.

Harmless flirting is one thing, but deliberately continuing to flirt with this girl after you (his girlfriend) and his friends have told him that something is wrong, is a whole different story.

Darlin, don't you want a boyfriend that flirts with you?

I'd tell this boy your problems with his flirting and leave the ball in his court. Tell him what bothers you and see if he changes. If he does, than he wants a relationship with you. If not, I'd move on.

Know that you can't change a guy. A guy is what he is. Don't stay in this relationship if after you tell him your concerns, he shrugs them off... because you can't "change him" and he won't "get better"... please be true to yourself.

You're much too young and you have way too many things going for you to have to settle for a guy that's not as IN the relationship as you are.

Good luck, Darlin!

talaniman · Feb 12, 2008, 11:29 AM

3 weeks? Have you TALKED about the boundaries are? If you have, he's out period. If you have not discussed it the last 3 weeks, then you should, and if things don't change, Do what you got to do!! Sorry, his actions are way over my boundaries, but that's just me. Don't assume he knows how you feel, express yourself, so there is no doubt.