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mrspiet · Oct 25, 2007, 05:32 AM

My husband and I have been married for a year. Although we have been together for 7 years. When I first met him I found it very difficult that he was still very good friends with all his ex girlfriends, even going as far back as his ex girlfriends from his early 20's. They are all in contact. Although it was hard to deal with I managed to come to terms that he was friends with them and accepted it, as time went on I suppose I began to trust the situation because I realised it wasn't a threat. Every time one of them phoned him to talk to him he allways told me that they had spoken.

He really is a wonderful man and has so many great qualities one of which he is a very wam person which tends to attack a lot of women as friends, they tend to stick to him like glue sometimes. I have had many issues with him about this and he keeps on telling me that he is who he is and he is just a friendly peoson and that so many women don't get that(which he means any women he has dated)

However one thing that I have noticed and I have noticed it over the years too but seem to have just brushed it aside. When we are together in a group of friends or go out somewhere and he meets a women (one who is preferablly single) he tends to pay a lot of attention to them and on many times this has made me unconfortable and I have had words with him about it, but he can't see that he is doing anything wrong.

A friend of mine that I have known for some 20 years has recently just gone through a divorce and she is now single again. Over the years my husband and I have often been in the company of her and her ex and he never paid any attention to her but all of a sudden now that she is single he seems to be paying a lot of attention to her. She was at our place this weekend and he was teasing her etc etc which was like childish flirting if you ask me. But saying that although he does that to her he still pays attention to me, I'm not ignored and he will still put his arm around me and kiss me... so what is this all about. Should he not be trusted or is it just me who is so insecure that I cannot accept the person that he is.

Its driving me completely insane to the sense that I now don't won't this frined aound anymore which is sad because I have known her the best part of my life and she is a good friend of mine. Its pointless talking to my husband about it as he turns it on me and says that I can't accept him for who he is and that he's just having fun and a laugh.

Should I have reason not to trust him ? He has never given me any reason other than him paying attention to other women etc, but its uncomfortable when he does as most of my friends can see what he's doing and it makes me feel like an idiot because ow there goes my husband flirting again...

Please help a

S SID · Oct 25, 2007, 05:40 AM

I doubt he's cheated/cheating on you but if you are really unsure then you could always hire a P.I. My only advice would be, don't get mad get even, while he's off chatting to single women you go off and flirt like hell with single guys, when he asks what the hell is going on tell him you'll stop when he does, I'm sure he'll get the message.

mrspiet · Oct 25, 2007, 05:47 AM

I have tried that... he just doesn't get upset as he's not a jelouse person. Ive been out before and had men hit on me in front of him and all he says is that he is so proud that I'm his wife!!

S SID · Oct 25, 2007, 05:59 AM

Then maybe you just need to trust him the way he trusts you. Midway through his conversations go to him and flirt with him, pinch his bum (butt) sorry I'm from the U.K, say to him "is everything ok darling" give him a gentle kiss and walk away, he'll love you more, she'll get the message and you'll feel loads better for it.

mrspiet · Oct 25, 2007, 06:09 AM

Ha ha... I will definitely try that one thank you for your advice.

S SID · Oct 25, 2007, 06:11 AM

Glad to help.

Socacess · Oct 25, 2007, 06:37 AM

Was he like this before you got married?

Socacess · Oct 25, 2007, 06:40 AM

Was he like this before you got married, or just after??

mrspiet · Oct 25, 2007, 06:55 AM

No he has been like that before we got married and has told me that he has had problems in his past relationships too in that his ex girlfriends never trusted him and where allways arguing with him about the same thing. And I have often said to him doesn't that show you that the problem is not the women but its actually something that you are doing... but he still doesn't see it and still doesn't think that he is doing anything wrong except being friendly.

mrspiet · Oct 25, 2007, 07:00 AM

I have also told him that by him being so friendly does he not think that he is actually giving women the wrong impression and he is giving this message to them that he is interested, I know I would think that if some man was giving me this attention... and what would happen is someone gives him the same attention back... then what ?