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summerw1nd · Feb 9, 2008, 01:36 AM

Hi all, there's this man I've been seeing for the past 6 months, things are going along okay so far but the relationship has been progressing really slow, which make me question his interest in me.

For the past couple of months, there's been a few times when he asked whether I would move away with him next year if he temporarily relocate to another town to do some internship. Since I don't know what his intention with this relationship is, I didn't give him definite answer. In my mind, his relocation is just temporary (max a year) and therefore it's not a huge threat to the relationship. And plus, if he's coming back at the end of the year, I don't feel the need to give up my full-time job and school commitments just to be with him. And I don't want to throw my life away for a relationship that I'm not even sure I have (but I didn't tell him this).

The fact that he asked whether I would move away with him, I see it as a sign that perhaps he sees a future for us being together. However, despite that, there a lot of conflicting signals that give me a feeling that he's not committed in the relationship. I'm not a clingy person, but I feel that he's not putting any effort or showing much interest at all. For example, we only see each other once a week (and that usually on a weekday), and talked briefly (30 minutes or so) on the phone twice a week. In my mind, if I were a guy and am really into someone, I would at least show more interest, asks what she's doing on the weekends. He never ask! He never called during weekend.
Is it wrong to have this pre-conceived notion that guys who are interested would at least care if she might be dating someone else on the weekends? I'm perplexed. Because I would want to know. And to me, lack of questions mean lack of interests.

BUT...

He wants me to meet his family. This means that he's at least seriously considering this relationship right?

SO my dilemma is, I'm not happy with the relationship (if it's a relationship at all) and I don't know whether I should:

1. walk away quietly (by gradually pulling away) or
2. talk to him about it or
3. hold my cards and see what will happen in a month's time, and then do either #1 or #2

Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

A side note: we are not sexually intimate yet

summerw1nd · Feb 9, 2008, 01:48 AM

Oh I forgot to add, I've met all his friends. He always invite me to hang out with them and they all think we're in a relationship. And when we're together, he's affectionate with me.

MasuBhat · Feb 9, 2008, 03:01 AM

Hhm... I'll advise you to 2. talk with him. Tell him what you think about this SO CALLED Relationship .
Best of luck.

talaniman · Feb 9, 2008, 10:09 AM

Your instincts are great!! Just because he moves slowly, is not a biggie the way I see it, but the quality of the time he does contact you doesn't seem to be a real effort, in moving along this relationship at all to me. Matter of fact he seems to busy, or preoccupied to get the level of communications going. Meeting friends, and family, is no indication at all he is that serious about you. Don't be disarmed by that, but do pay attention as you have been. You sound like a very smart cookie, so my advice is if the interest isn't there, and the communication level and attention you need is not there, then re-evaluate this relationship, and act appropriately. Having said that, 6 months is not a long time to get to know someone, and your only at the tip of the iceberg. But if getting to know someone, is not the fun it should be, that's something to think about. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.