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    jakie's Avatar
    jakie Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 8, 2008, 09:16 PM
    Does he really want to be with me.
    Hello.ive been going out with this guy for 2 years. Everyday of the week we get into fights and arguments and when were together were just happy and we enjoy our self's. He has even taken me to his family partys and he introduced me to all of them and his baseball coach.his friends are gagnsters and I don't like his friends because they are bad influences to him. I chose my fiancé over my friends and now I barely have eny. My fiancé always thinks that I talk to guys and that I don't like him. When I really opend my heart to him. Yesterday he thought that it would be a good idea to take a BREAK. I didn't want to but if he wanted to then I just had to agree with him. But I'm afarid that he might see other peole while on this BREAK. What should I . Can I get advises.
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #2

    Feb 8, 2008, 09:54 PM
    If he wants a break, then let him have his break. He will either see that the grass is not greener on the other side and come back to you, or he will realize that you two were not meant to be. Just because someone asks for a break it does not mean that they love you any less, sometimes they actually do just want a break; a break to hang out with their friends, focus on work, or just get their life together.

    A break isn't always bad, sometimes its actually good. Sometimes the one that asks for the break realizes how much they love you when they are not around you constantly.

    Some advice I can give you : Don't try to isolate him from his friends. If you control who he can and can't hang out with, he will start to resent you. Even if you don't like his friends, be a little more open minded with them. They may be gangsters like you say, but people see their friends as family, so its like you're insulting his family.

    Let him have his break and try to be more open minded about his friends. He may just want this break to gather his thoughts. If he doesn't come back to you, at least then you know you can move on. Good luck! :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Feb 9, 2008, 10:44 AM
    Jakie, hello.ive been going out with this guy for 2 years. Everyday of the week we get into fights and arguments and when were together were just happy and we enjoy our self's.
    That's a lot of conflicts over a two year period, so its confusing when you enjoy yourselves so much if you fight everyday?
    he has even taken me to his family partys and he introduced me to all of them and his baseball coach.
    Great!
    his friends are gagnsters and I don't like his friends because they are bad influences to him.
    HHMMM, could he be a gangster too??
    I chose my fiancé over my friends and now I barely have eny.
    Red Flag, you have isolated yourself and become dependent on him for all your social interactions.
    my fiancé always thinks that I talk to guys and that I don't like him. When I
    He is jealous and insecure, or playing on your emotions to control you and make you insecure, or isolated.
    really opend my heart to him. Yesterday he thought that it would be a good idea to take a BREAK.
    To bad you standing up for yourself made him feel so insecure, or its getting to be quit apparent he is trying to control you! This is a very big red flag as his reaction if he cared at all, would be to listen and try and make you feel better. Boy this is a bigger red flag than I originally thought.
    I didn't want to but if he wanted to then I just had to agree with him. But I'm afarid that he might see other peole while on this BREAK. What should I . Can I get advises.
    I for one am glad you agreed with him on the break, because it is an obvious ploy to undermine your security, and confidence and keep you under his control. He doesn't care about your feelings, just that he get his way. Sorry, but this is the best thing to happen to you in my opinion, and I hope you use your new freedom to get someone who cares.

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