[steelworker3403]

The father has not seen them in almost two years. They want nothing to do with him, because the witness him beating me, almost to my death. As they got older they knew what he told them was all lies. I have been with my now husband for 6 years, and we are married now,and they want his last name they are 16 years and 14 years old. Please help us. He does pay child support, but has no contact with them.

[George_1950]

I don't think you will have legal grounds to change your sons' names, short of adoption. If you petition to change their name, he should get notice and have an opportunity to agree or not. What state?

[steelworker3403]

We live in Pa. we hired a lawyer also, and she said we will win, all they want to do is change their last names, so they have the same as me and my hubby. It is going to cost us a lot of money,

[George_1950]

Check this: "Traditionally, courts ruled that a father had an automatic right to have his child keep his last name if he continued to actively perform his parental role. Although there is still some bias in this direction, it is no longer strictly true. Now a child's name may be changed by court petition when it is clearly in the best interest of the child to do so. When deciding whether to grant a name change, courts consider many factors, such as the length of time the father's name has been used, the strength of the mother-child relationship and the need of the child to identify with a new family unit (if the change involves remarriage). The courts must balance these factors against the strength and importance of the father-child relationship. What this all boils down to is that it's up to a judge to decide which name is in the child's best interest."
Changing Your Name After Divorce - Findlaw for the Public -

[steelworker3403]

Well he doesn't have anything to do with them, they talked with him and told him they wanted no contact with him or his side of the family, they have not spoken in two years, they still have nightmares of when he almost killed me.and to him it is all about control, because he is an abuser.

[George_1950]

Check this: Pennsylvania Name Change Forms and Name Change Law

[ScottGem]

Why not just have your husband adopt them? Or do you not want to give up the child support?

[steelworker3403]

The child support means nothing to us. My husband now from day one loved my kids also, like I love his, we don't say his or hers. He has seen us three through so very much, and my kids love him,

[ScottGem]

So have him adopt them and you adopt his. Probably wouldn't cost more than trying to fight to change the names.

[steelworker3403]

It is a harder battle to do that, and a lot more change of losing.

[ScottGem]

Who is telling you that? If the father understands that your husband adopting will end his child support, then he may be willing and make it easy.

[steelworker3403]

No, he is a abuser, and he still wants to control them, but knowing he can't control any of us any more, he will not stop paying child support, I have tried talking to him, just to let them change their last name, and he always says no.

[ScottGem]

Have you specifically asked him if he will let your husband adopt since it will mean no longer having to pay support?

I suppose your attorney knows the local Family Court, but I would think it easier to get the adopton through.

[steelworker3403]

Yes my kids have even begged him to let them go, and I have asked, and he said it will never happen, he has done so much to these kids, and has scared them for life, we have went back and fourth to counselor's, and he keeps telling them he will never give them up, or let my husband adopt them, I told him you will no longer have to pay child support of only $460.00 a month for both , but he keeps saying no. it is really effecting my kids also,

[ScottGem]

I'm sorry to hear that. But I still think that you stand a chance to get his rights terminated to clear the way for adoption. I would go that route with just the name change as a fallback position.

[steelworker3403]

Thank you so very much for all your help. I turned it in God;s hands and we are going to b e doing tis very soon, I wish I knew this was here back when he got away with almost killing me, and nothing ever happened to him.