Check out some similar questions!

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 06:46 AM

Hey All, its been a while since I posted here , I've been back and forth lately just reading others posts. I just wanted to stop by and vent a bit. So quick review my ex broke up with me 9-26-07 I contacted her 2 or 3 times since then. As of 2 weeks ago we haven't spoke for a few weeks. Last week I was with 4 guys in one of my friends truck the guys I was with I met through my ex. One of the guys in the car was texting his friends who was driving around in another car with my ex in the passenger seat. I really have no way of proving what was said on the text but long story short they wound up pulling up next to us in the car the windows rolls down and my ex is in the front passenger seat she looks at me not really shocked like I was and said something to one of the guys in the car I was in. Then she starts staring at me with a huge grin on. She keeps a stare for a few mind huge smile and laughing at the same time. So I make it like she not there first min or 2 then I tell her to stop staring its not polite all the time with a smile on my face as well. So she continues smiling and laughing after 5 minutes they say bye and pull away. Not sure if she wanted to get something out of me or what she was trying to express but that's as far as it went its been a lilttle over a week now and I'm thinking about her again I did not contact her after that and she did not contact me... But dam it sucks feel like I went backwards... ughhhh

Just wanted to get opinions if I did the right thing by not saying really much...

George_1950 · Jan 29, 2008, 07:15 AM

You did fine as this little event meant nothing, in my view. Isn't it ironic that something you didn't intend to happen (seeing her) could make you feel that you've gone 'backwards'? So, you have proof that NC is working for you.

ihatewestseneca · Jan 29, 2008, 07:16 AM

She sounds really immature, I wouldn't ever call her again... its been like 4 or 5 months since you guys broke up. You don't need that confusion, and I wouldn't dwell on this incident too much... 5 months since you've seen her and one look at her drops you back to square one? No offense but I think you need to try harder to move on.

HistorianChick · Jan 29, 2008, 07:25 AM

That had to hurt. I'm sorry you had to deal with that... you're doing the right thing. Sometimes NC works, sometimes it doesn't. In this case, I think its working.

You did the right thing. If you see her again do the same thing... keep smiling, keep being cordial, keep your chin up, Hon.

You're doing good.

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 07:25 AM

Well I have seen her 3 times in 4 months. I am trying very hard I do thing all the time go out stay with friends I even dated. I don't call her and I do not plan on calling her. I just wanted a girls point of view what was the deal with the smiling and laughing I really didn't get it. And to be honest It got me kind of mad like what are you trying to prove...

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

That had to hurt. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.... you're doing the right thing. Sometimes NC works, sometimes it doesn't. In this case, I think its working.

You did the right thing. If you see her again do the same thing... keep smiling, keep being cordial, keep your chin up, Hon.

You're doing good.

To be honest NC is the only thing that worked... I could not see it any other way...

Questions2007 · Jan 29, 2008, 07:32 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

well I have seen her 3 times in 4 months. I am trying very hard I do thing all the time go out stay with friends I even dated. I dont call her and I do not plan on calling her. I just wanted a girls point of view what was the deal with the smiling and laughing I really didnt get it. And to be honest It got me kinda of mad like what are u trying to prove.....

Seeing her 3 times in 4 months is a half way house. Do No Contact, you will feel better over time, won't feel so bad about her, and will start to be yourself again. If she is initiating "chance" meetings like this, then she is the needy one. If she wanted you back she would say it. Why have a halfway house?

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

Seeing her 3 times in 4 months is a half way house. Do No Contact, you will feel better over time, won't feel so bad about her, and will start to be yourself again. If she is initiating "chance" meetings like this, then she is the needy one. If she wanted you back she would say it. Why have a halfway house?

Okie let me be honest in the beginning it was totally me initiating everything I did not know what to do with myself I was going insane. The last month and 1/2 or so I have been okie with being alone and it hasn't bothered me much. I have enjoyed doing things I want to when I want to not having to always think were she is or who's she hooking up with I've accepted her not being with me or not wanting to be with me. I guess this all started to mess me up some when her friend told me she's been acting weird like self confidence she won't talk as much to guys and she's been acting shy not wanting to stay out really late and so on. She's hooked up with a few guys already as I have with some girls. After hearing that and then seeing her reaction to seeing me it just threw me for a loop I guess it was a slight bit of false hope cause I get lonely every so often. I will admit I never thought the initially hurt feeling would ever go away but it has and the feeling is nothing like what it was. It is kind of like a scab that's almost healed and I rubbed it against the wall and a few drops of blood are peeking out. Its not a totally fall back please do not take it that way at all. I'm very close to totally being over. I just got caught up in the moment and it felt good thinking that she might be having 2nd thoughts but I don't even believe that is the case anymore...

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

Okie let me be honest in the beginning it was totally me initiating everything I did not know what to do with myself i was going insane. the last month and 1/2 or so I have been okie with being alone and it hasn't bothered me much. I have enjoyed doing things I want to when I want to not having to always think were she is or who's she hooking up with I've accepted her not being with me or not wanting to be with me. I guess this all started to mess me up some when her friend told me she's been acting weird like self confidence she wont talk as much to guys and she's been acting shy not wanting to stay out really late and so on. She's hooked up with a few guys already as i have with some girls. After hearing that and then seeing her reaction to seeing me it just threw me for a loop I guess it was a slight bit of false hope cause I get lonely every so often. I will admit I never thought the initially hurt feeling would ever go away but it has and the feeling is nothing like what it was. It is kind of like a scab that's almost healed and i rubbed it against the wall and a few drops of blood are peeking out. Its not a totally fall back please do not take it that way at all. I'm very close to totally being over. I just got caught up in the moment and it felt good thinking that she might be having 2nd thoughts but I don't even believe that is the case anymore.....

This place always sets me str8t

talaniman · Jan 29, 2008, 02:28 PM

Give yourself some credit Chris, as you handled that surprise really well, as most would have started the cycle of misery all over again with all kind of confusing questions so you are well beyond square one. Keep moving on, my man.

shygrneyzs · Jan 29, 2008, 02:38 PM

Hi Chris. Nice to see you posting again. Well, you have come a long way and should congratulate yourself. Yes, you are going to fall into some awkward situations now and then but stick to your guns with the No Contact and ignore the ex. If anything, her latest episode should confirm her totoal lack of what is appropriate and within boundaries. Could call that insanity and it would not be far off, would it?

Continued best of all to you!

chris28 · Jan 29, 2008, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

Hi Chris. Nice to see you posting again. Well, you have come a long way and should congratulate yourself. Yes, you are going to fall into some awkward situations now and then but stick to your guns with the No Contact and ignore the ex. If anything, her latest episode should confirm her totoal lack of what is appropriate and within boundaries. Could call that insanity and it would not be far off, would it?

Continued best of all to you!

Thanks I definitely feel a lot better :) and it has been moving in the right direction oftennn.

madaman · Jan 29, 2008, 08:59 PM

Congrats on keeping yourself composed in the situation. I know we were both posting here a lot a few months back and its nice to see the people who were going through it as well and their progress. If I ever run into my ex (hopefully not) I will try and do what you did, remain cordial and smile. I went FULL NC on sept 1st though so that helped, I don't know if I would be so good if I saw her since then.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 29, 2008, 09:25 PM

Holy cow madaman... sept 1. so it's been 5 months of nc. How're you doing so far? Mind if I ask for a short 2 line version of what happened? How long you guys dated, how it ended, did you break nc, has she tried to contact you, is she with someone else, etc?

chris28 · Jan 30, 2008, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by madaman

Congrats on keeping yourself composed in the situation. I know we were both posting here a lot a few months back and its nice to see the people who were going through it as well and their progress. If I ever run into my ex (hopefully not) I will try and do what you did, remain cordial and smile. I went FULL NC on sept 1st though so that helped, I dont know if I would be so good if I saw her since then.

Congrats man that's a long time, and NC is the only way. Anytime we tried anything but NC I always felt I was the one to be let down. Good job and all the best to you.