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drealea · Jan 25, 2008, 10:08 PM

My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years, we have been together on and off for 11 years, we have two children, a 9 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. Recently he received a child support letter from a women whom I have known since we were 5, and we used to be close friends. The child is about to be 10 years old. My husband did admit to sleeping with her 1 time, with protection. Around the time that this happened, we were starting our senior year in high school, and about 8 months into our relationship, me and the girl were really close then too. When the baby was about 2 years old, rumors surfaced that the baby was his, I asked her if it was, and she told me no, his cousin asked, and she told her no also. My husband asked, and he was also told no, she said it was for someone else, and she made that very clear to us. We left it alone. Now all of a sudden my husband gets this letter in the mail notifying him that she has filed child support. I have so many mixed feelings right now, I feel sad, hurt, betrayed. I mean I love my husband now, but if I would have found the truth out in the beginning I don't think I would have stayed in this relationship. Right now I am not sure what I should do, part of me wants to get my kids and leave, part of me wants to stay, but I don't know if I can accept this child being a part of our lives. I understand that the child might be his, but I am his wife, we have our kids together, and the family that we have created. I know I sound selfish, but that is how I feel. If anyone has gone through something similar, please help.

N0help4u · Jan 25, 2008, 10:15 PM

You say your husband did admit to sleeping with her 1 time, with protection. So even if he slept with her a few times without protection it was in the past and she probably said no because she didn't want any ties to him to respect your relationship with him. I am not sure if you are saying he did that while you were together or if she was with him before you were either way Leave it in the past because he married you and left her in the past. You have forgiven him and had a good relationship with him between then and now.
You can't take it out on the kid either. If it isn't for sure the kid is his they need to do a DNA test.

talaniman · Jan 26, 2008, 07:02 PM

Its not his fault she lied. You have dealt with this already, years ago, so relax, and wait for the test to be done. I understand the pain, and shock of this on you, so take the time to let the emotional dust settle, and deal with this TOGETHER.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 26, 2008, 07:11 PM

He asked, she lied, your husband admitted, and to be honest if you read the posts in the sex area, you will now that a condom is not 100 percent, birth control pills are not either. So that one time really may have been the only one time. Or pehaps he lied about the condom

This is so old, he told you he cheated, and you knew about it already,
So to be honest I have no idea why you are upset at all. There is no additional cheating, he confessed and was forgiven years ago.

So a new child ( he it is his from a DNA test) is in the picture, I would say you are making way too much out of this at this time, Stay with him, you worked though the hard part now,