[Tigre]

Im separated from my wife. I met this girl a year ago. And we've became good friends. She always knew about my relationship and my very old problems with my partner. She suppported in my darkest hours. She stood by my side when my ex advise her to be away while we were breaking.

Months ago I said to my friend that I was feeling something about her, and she said Stop. I said OK and we continued our friendship.

Things began to complicate because during my split with my ex I was completely broke emotionally. All the time I was sad and only talking about my problems. My separation was extremely dramatic and my friend always knew the details. However we've tried to be friends.

Once definetely splitted I began to hang around with my friend (Im foreigner in the country where this history happens, so I don't have so much friends yet in this country). And we went to a disco and I got a bit jealous when I saw her flirting with another guy. I tried to hide it but she notice it. No one said anything.

My friend is abroad now, and she offered me to stay in her apartment while Im still looking for one. I moved with my stuff and suddenly we began to fight because I was still immersed in my "relationship things" and I didn't notice that she was requiting attention because she was feeling really bad about an illness of her sister. We fought and she argued that she was doing a lot for me and I was all the time in my "things". We agreed some things and I thought it was OK.

Then we went for new year's eve party, and she flirted with another guy and my feelings and jealousy was more evident. I think I began unconciously began to compete with the other guys. She got angry and we discussed and the friend intervened... in the middle of the fight I said to her that I can't hide anymore my feelings for you... Indeed a disaster.. I left the party extremely distroyed.

The next day. I tried to apologized, she was angry and feeling betrayed. She said that she has forgiven me but that it will be take time to forget what happen. That she wants distance and she really wants me to rebuild my life. That she does not want to help me carry the burden. I also took contact with her best friend and apologize with him because of the bad moment.

She will return in a month...

I want her back in my life as my friend. I quit for her feelings, but I want to show her that Ive learnt the lessons that Ive grown up, that I have grab again the joy of being happy, that I am doing the things that I like ( music and arts) but that during this time I DID EVRYTHING FOR MYSELF. So I only can offer her just a better person. A person more awarded of iits weaknesses and strengths. I will try to be relaxed and not needy with her and that I want her back, but I will respect her decisions and that nothing will happen because Im doing my life and Im doing fine...

Am I doing fine?

I don't know if this new point of view will help...
Thanks

[talaniman]

You screwed up, and have apologised, that's it. Now move on with your life, and be happy, and be glad she understood you being a jerk. Be a friend and act as if nothing has happened, unless she brings it up.

[Bluerose]

You did mess up. You have also been a bit thick. You were pouring out all your troubles to her, and probably not listening to a word she was saying. But you are aware of that now and are prepared to turn over a new leaf. First things first, stop taking advantage of your friends generosity. She thought she was helping you through a tough time, like friends do. But people can only be so generous with their time and their money to help a friend - a friend who is willing to help themselves. You sat back and you let her do it all, is it any wonder she is getting annoyed? Get out on your own, stand on your own two feet, and then check to see if there is anything you can do to save your friendship. Don't ask her for anything, that ship has sailed.