[ManOpinion]

I've been married 14 years (3 kids) and have never been unfaithful until now. A few months I was travelling on business (out of state) and I met up with a female cousin who I had not seen for a long time. We went bar-hopping all night, got drunk and she ended up staying in my hotel room because she said she was too drunk to take a taxi back home (outside of the city). I didn't think twice about having her stay with me since we're relatives and I'm not attracted to her. We passed out and I woke up hours later to her groping me and trying to move on top of me. At first I pushed her off, she continued and told me that she had a long time crush on me. I told her she was drunk and to go to sleep, but she continued to throw herself on me. I finally just went along and 'it' happened quick and we fell asleep.

I knew from the moment I woke up that I was in the wrong and made a mistake. I told her it was a mistake and that I should have stopped it from happening. I have not talked to her since it occurred and she has sent me two text messages since saying hello.

I feel terrible about this and I don't know what to do. Do I forget about it or should I be honest and confess to my wife? I have buddy's that have always cheated and don't show any remorse. I feel like a dirt bag, but want to preserve my marriage.

[Fr_Chuck]

First you should have and could have. I hope this is a good example of what excuses we use when we are out drinking. I hope this also makes you go on the wagon and stop drinking, to be sure nothing like this happens ever again. I believe you should go though counseling yourself to start with, to see what needs to be done.

[mjl]

You want to "preserve" your marriage?? If you loved your wife you wouldn't have cheated on her in the first place. And with your cousin OMG!

[talaniman]

Fogive yourself, and be aware of never putting yourself in those positions again.

[BROCKSGIRL86]

Talk about keeping it in the family. Damn son. Well I would not tell her anything things would get around your family and that would not be good. Aslong as you don't do it again and not with her, I thing you should be OK.

[N0help4u]

I agree with Taliman and I would go further by saying I would avoid anywhere your cousin goes as much as possible. At any unavoidable family functions stay across the room.
If she ever confronts you and asks why you don't bother with her tell her that her pushiness makes you feel too uncomfortable and you do not want to be put in that position or anything near it ever again... so yes you are avoiding her for yourself preservation.

[ayashe]

Having an affair is awful enough, but with your cousin? You will not only devastate your spouse, but can you imange how your parents would feel?? Shame on you for what you have done, I never say to keep secrets, and I think it will eat you alive. You will not be able to look at your wife without the guilt, and shame. And what about family functions? You will cross her path again some day! Lets also discuss the fact that your wife has a right to know to be tested for any STD's you may have acquired in your drunken sexual adventure. You owe her at the very least, to tell her what you have done, the choice to forgive you should be hers, you have already dug your hole, you need to face up to your poor decision making.

[oneguyinohio]

Ever hear the expression, "If all your friends jump off a bridge, that doesn't mean you should do it too!"

You messed up. Telling your wife will certainly hurt her. I don't know how she will respond.

I can see why you are afraid of the consequences. If you choose to keep it a secret, you're in for a long long road. You're going to suffer one way or the other.

You might be able to fool your wife, but not yourself. Your marriage will never be the same now that you know what you have done.

You can take your chances that your wife will never find out, but either way you'll pay a price. If you confess, you might get forgiveness... who knows... she might leave...

You better start trying to be the best possible husband... even better than you ever imagined you could be... to give her a reason to stay when she finds out...

[rapunzellouise]

first, let me congratulate you for REGRETTING. Some men are so heartless.
second, I think you should refrain from drinking too much (look where it got you)
third, just don't do it again.
fourth, I don't know.

=^_^= may your conscience be saved. =^_^=
god bless! =^_^= I can't really help you... it's your choice if you want your wife to know... =^_^=

[Ema _]

I was cheated on and he told me. Its hell and Im still thinking what path to take. There's a lot of bridges that need building. But because he was a man and told me Im willing to give him an ear to hear how he can now make a mends. I hope you can tell your wife and start again. If she loves you she will find it hard, but harder to leave you entirely

[JBeaucaire]

Don't tell her.

[Dragonfly1234]

Ever considered the fact that the slightly psycho cousin might get angry at you for ignoring her and decide to tell others, possibly your wife, to punish you? It happens...

[JBeaucaire]

Since this thread is 9 months old, we can probably leave it alone.