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oneguyinohio · Jan 7, 2008, 11:05 PM

I'm starting to wonder about something you told me earlier in this thread...

I only want to be in a relationship because its someone that you can trust with everything, tell anything to, spend time with, have fun around by being yourself and not having to fake anything, and its someone who likes you for who you are.

Now you seem to be putting an awful lot of thought into the kissing and romantic end of things. You seem to be worried an awful lot about how to act, or what to say, when you initially said: "its someone who likes you for who you are." That sounds more like a very good friend---without the desires you're now adding on.

What's the big rush to have all these experiences? Just to have them? For what purpose? What comes next? When it isn't all new anymore? I am really thinking that you are jumping in too quickly. Somebody is apt to get hurt in this situation since there is no real plan for where things can lead other than a lot of experimenting. Consider cooling your jets for awhile. Realistically, you are young. You can not support yourself, and you sure are not in a position to be thinking about a grown up long-term committed exclusive lifelong relationship.

schwartzyms · Jan 8, 2008, 03:37 PM

That is very true, I have been looking into a bit too much for me. I just want to experience it really bad, and I know it can wait, It had just gotten the best of me

talaniman · Jan 8, 2008, 04:29 PM

Call it what it is, Raging Hormones, typical at your age, the dreams, the feelings, the scent of her hair, the feel of her touch, we all go through it, male and female, just use your common sense, and don't get in trouble.

schwartzyms · Jan 8, 2008, 05:58 PM

I don't plan on getting into any trouble... But must of us say that and guess what? We get in trouble.

Anyone know how to make a relationship less expensive?

I had $80 before we started going out, and after 3 dates I have $20 left.

talaniman · Jan 8, 2008, 06:32 PM

Rent movies, and play games, walk and talk.

schwartzyms · Jan 9, 2008, 06:44 PM

Good suggestions

Thanks tal

schwartzyms · Jan 10, 2008, 08:00 PM

So, we kissed tonight, it was only a 1 second peck...

And her mom wants me to have dinner with them tomorrow night

oneguyinohio · Jan 10, 2008, 08:21 PM

Go to the park, hike, hike, hike... read a book, watch TV, go to church together maybe? do a hobby together, push her on a swing, ride a bike, play board games, cards, wash a car together, make a pizza at home... help her do a chore at home?

Money can't buy love... lesson#1...

When I was your age, I put off asking anyone out because I thought I needed to have a car and money... Now that I'm my age (40+), I still tend to use the same excuse of maybe when I have more $, though I know it won't matter with the right person.

jrebel7 · Jan 10, 2008, 08:33 PM

Hey Sch, sounds great! "Congratulations"! If the mom is wanting to have you over for dinner, that is a plus. She must be happy you and her daughter are seeing each other. You have taken it slow and that is great. It has been a pleasure seeing how this has unfolded in your life. Thanks for sharing! Best to you! :)

schwartzyms · Jan 12, 2008, 02:48 PM

I could go to church with her, but I'm jewish so It would be kind of awkward. Haha.

We went to the park last night and had a lot of fun. We lied there looking at the stars and kissed a couple times, fun night.

Thanks for all of the suggestions!!

jrebel7 · Jan 12, 2008, 03:34 PM

Going to church with her sounds nice. It is always good to learn about what a friend believes in their faith walk and why.

Enjoy and just stay respectful of her and of yourself. Sounds to me like you do think things through. I am happy for you.

schwartzyms · Jan 14, 2008, 03:08 PM

Sounds like a good idea

schwartzyms · Jan 16, 2008, 05:53 PM

Ok ummmm...

I know I'm only 15 and I can't possibly be in love with a girl that I've been dating for almost 3 weeks, but how can I express my feelings to her? It's like I really want to say "I love you", but then, wouldn't I just be lying? I'm really confused...

Clough · Jan 16, 2008, 06:25 PM

You wouldn't be lying by telling her that you love her. It would just be that you would be telling her that you love her, based upon your understanding of what love is for you at this point in your life. You will understand and grow in the understanding as to what true love is about as you get older and have more experiences in life.

schwartzyms · Jan 16, 2008, 08:29 PM

Very true, thanks for the advice Clough. I'll definitely take that into consideration.

schwartzyms · Jan 18, 2008, 09:10 PM

When would be a good time to tell her how I feel, I know that I liker her and that she likes me, but I feel more than that. How would I be able to express it?

oneguyinohio · Jan 18, 2008, 10:55 PM

Find your own way. Do what you feel is right in your heart.

You don't always have to get your answers from other people. Let your authentic self do the actions. Otherwise, you are just a mirror of others.

Do you want this girl to like you, or the thoughts of others?

jrebel7 · Jan 19, 2008, 12:17 AM

Just a thought: There is a difference in loving someone and being "In Love" with someone. You can love on many levels with out the other person feeling things are moving too fast. A person may be "In Love" but this is such a deeper kind of love, one might take their time before sharing with the person those feelings. Intense feelings shared too soon can be a little intimidating to a young girl. One might share at some point, "I really do like you. I even feel at times I am beginning to love you."
Schw, I am in no way saying this is what to say!! Just remembering back some years!! LOL :)

Oneguy has given you some really great advice in saying to find your own way.
Each of us has to and each of us makes good choices along the way and mistakes along the way and learn from them. As long as you are being sincere in what you say and how you say it, the girl will generally accept what you say but might not be able to voice the same at that given moment so if that happens, don't be disheartened or feel embarrassed. Putting your feelings out there is a scary thing. One might let things proceed at a safe pace until one feels a comfort in their heart to share.

I know it helps to have some feed back from others but you do need to learn to listen to your heart to know when timing is right for each step. You waited to kiss her until you felt it was right and it turned out great.

One thing I have learned in life is that if I feel an urgency to say something or do something, that is generally the time I wait. When I have peace to say or do something, then I feel comfortable in doing so.

Sharing here and asking these questions is a good and positive thing. You do probably need to begin depending on the direction you feel from our heart more each day and feel less dependent on this safety zone on the forum but any of us out here are happy to answer or discuss issues with you. As Oneguy said, "Let your authentic self do the actions." Great advice.

schwartzyms · Jan 19, 2008, 07:32 AM

That was great advice, thanks a lot! This is a very confusing subject for me and probably many others. I'm grateful for your advice.

schwartzyms · Jan 22, 2008, 06:31 PM

So I told her how I felt and she told me the same, but for some reason it feels weird to say it. Of course this girl is great and I would love to be with her for a while, but for some reason it feels weird to say "love" at times. I'm guessing I'm just not used to it, but I don't know if that's entirely true.