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ejw1403 · Jan 1, 2008, 08:03 PM

I dated a guy for a year. To make a (very) long story short, when things were good, they were good... and when they were bad, they were bad. We have been broken up for over three months, but I still have so many thoughts of him. He's with a new girl, but I would do almost anything to be back together with him. I don't know what to do about this, however, because I would NEVER want to be the cause of them ending their relationship. Also, I'm not sure if being with him would be the right thing for me because while we were dating he would randomly tell me that he just wanted to be single and that he didn't want to be with me anymore... what's the deal with that! However, all my happiest memories involve him and I truly loved him with all of my heart.

I'm doing much better than I was when we initially broke up, but I am still having a hard time accepting reality and letting go! Should I try to somehow lure him back, or should I consider him gone? Any advice would be appreciated so much!

EuRa · Jan 1, 2008, 08:31 PM

Have you tried looking around yet? 3 months is a long time. Even just craigslist personals? I think if you can find someone else to date (not get with. Just DATE), then that will help you move on, or even find things in someone else you like.

But by focusing on HIM and what to do with HIM or when to talk to HIM... you are hurting yourself. Find a relationship that has it's good moment and GREAT moments! Searching for a new mate can be difficult, but it can also be exciting and fun! Good luck to you!

nkychic · Jan 1, 2008, 08:42 PM

A couple questions that might help me further... why did you break up? Who broke up with who? Breaking up with someone is hard, but not as hard as moving on from it. However, from what I know, I think that you should cut your losses and move on. Let him live his life and you live yours. Who knows, maybe you will find each other again, or maybe you'll realize he was just a stepping stone to your true happiness. I know it isn't easy, but go on with life. Don't spend your time waiting for something that may never happen. Let me know if there is anything else I can help with, or drop me a line to let me know how things are going.

<3 Leslie

George_1950 · Jan 1, 2008, 10:00 PM

You said: "I'm not sure if being with him would be the right thing for me because while we were dating he would randomly tell me that he just wanted to be single and that he didn't want to be with me anymore... what's the deal with that! Perhaps you were the most available girlfriend at the time? What is it about him that you like the most, more than anything else?

ejw1403 · Jan 2, 2008, 08:53 AM

Answers to your questions...

We broke up because we had plans to go out one night and he decided at the last minute that he didn't want to go... he broke up with me... and my favorite thing about him was that I could confide in him about anything and he gave me so much confidence.

Oh, and thanks for your answer EuRa, I do appreciate it. But there are two factors that I forgot to mention: 1) I am only 18 and 2) He was my first real boyfriend/true love, so while 3 months does seem like a long time, I don't really know that it is, considering the circumstances.

Thanks!

illusion48 · Jan 2, 2008, 09:11 AM

He is your first true love that is why so hard for you to move on. I understand that, but you're only 18. Why should you go back with a guy who tells you that he doesn't want to be with you anymore and he wants to be single BUT after he is going out with a new girlfriend? Isn't it weird?
You deserve much more then this! Be much more proud than going after him, you will see love will come just you have to look around...

talaniman · Jan 6, 2008, 09:51 PM

It really is time to put this behind you, and find your own happiness.