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    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 14, 2007, 02:40 AM
    I want my ex-boyfriend back!
    Hi.
    I recently broke up with my boyfriend, but I am still in love with him.we have been together for 3 years and now he is saying that he still loves me but he is tired from me and our relationship.we still rent a flat together and I can't afford to rent a flat myself, neither do he.so we are stuck here, 2 of us... I want him back desperately, I tried to talk with him several times, but still the same answer.please help me with advice, I don't know what do do, how to act and talk with him.
    MissVonDutch's Avatar
    MissVonDutch Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Nov 14, 2007, 07:53 AM
    Oh, that's painful!! Having your heart with that person and living with them, and suddenly being told that he is not interested. I dread that day happen to me. I know how desperate tou would do anything to have him back but what you need to realise even if it does happen, you will not be entirely happy. He would start cheating on you and trust me that hurts more than anything else. At least he is being honest with you and admitting that there is a problem in the relationship.
    Why not occupy yourself or rather distract yourself with activities that you enjoy. Or perhaps try an au-pair programme in another country.
    Hope it works well for you!!
    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 14, 2007, 03:19 PM
    You are right, but I am not humiliating myself. I don't ask for anything,don't push him to do anything against his will, or walk after him like a sad puppy.I am trying to show him that I am OK with this situation, no matter that it isn't true. I am already in another contry,start a life here, I don't want to leave everything...
    If he loves me, and he says he do, I am trying to find a way to convince him that this relationship deserve a second chance. We are like strangers now - sleeping in different rooms,not touching or hugging... that hurts and I am open to any advice what should or I shouldn't do to get him back.
    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 23, 2007, 12:16 AM
    Please does anybody can give me an advice, it is getting worse with every day!
    I can't stop thinking about him and what we had, no matter hard hard I try.
    If anyone have been there I can use your tips...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 23, 2007, 08:28 AM
    The longer you stay the harder it gets. Is there any way you can afford a smaller place, or move in with a friend? I think the first and most important thing is to stand on your own, away from him. That would give you the emotional break to at least get over the hurt, and see the situation with fresh eyes, from another perspective.
    Spontaneouslemon's Avatar
    Spontaneouslemon Posts: 75, Reputation: 5
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    #6

    Dec 23, 2007, 12:42 PM
    If you desperately want him back, and he doesn't want a relationship with you, you need to forget about it! Talking about it, and begging for it, will do NOTHING. It may actually frustrate and annoy him, and push back the possibilities even more.
    You need to work on yourself. Go out as much as possible, to stay out of your home. Take good care of yourself, go out clubbing.
    Not only will this intrigue your ex, but he will find it strange that you have lost interest so suddenly. Then he will start asking himself questions. Plus, you may find someone new! Which is probably best in this situation.
    Try to have those as your main focuses: Taking care of yourself, and finding someone new.
    And see what happens!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Dec 23, 2007, 01:23 PM
    Be independent, happy and single, so find a place of your own to live, even if it means two jobs. Dating exclusively, or jumping into another relationship, this soon may not be wise, as you could stand some time to let the emotional dust settle. It may be very awkward dating some one new, and still living with the ex.
    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 5, 2008, 01:05 AM
    It is really messy situation, isn't it... I really appreciate your advices, but the problem is that ia can't afford apartment on my own. My friends live with other people already and I am stuck here with him (and our other roommate). He doesn't treat me bad, he is very kind and sometimes we talk for hours, watching movies together, doing things together. Even few days ago I was sick and he was so nice to me, hedged me and did everything that I needed. That's why is so hard to move on, because he is worth it! 8 months ago we broke up again, but we weren't living together, he was calling me everyday just to say hi. That is why I live in a hope that something might happen again.what we had was beautiful, I am trying to go through it again, to see the mistakes that I've made and if it is possible, to fix them. I blame myself for us.I don't know what to offer to him to make him want me again. I know that he loves me, he said it several times after we broke up.even that I live in a hope I am trying to get over him, because it is to heavy for me to live like that, but till now (3 months) there is no progress...
    amaa20's Avatar
    amaa20 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jan 5, 2008, 02:13 AM
    Play the hear games back
    amaa20's Avatar
    amaa20 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jan 5, 2008, 02:14 AM
    Soory "head"
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jan 5, 2008, 07:07 AM
    So your options are stay, and be miserable, because you see him everyday, or move out, and heal, and get your act together. You are between a rock, and a very hard place. But you do need time and space to heal. This can only get worse, so I suggest you make a decision, and it may involve making yourself a lot more independent.
    nkychic's Avatar
    nkychic Posts: 180, Reputation: 70
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    #12

    Jan 5, 2008, 07:20 AM
    You aren't "stuck" there. You need to find a way out. Looks like it's time to be a lot more independent, otherwise a life of pain is all that you are in for. Maybe you think he will change his mind with time... do you really want to take that much time out of your life and in the process hurt yourself by living so closely with him? Besides you've probably made it quite clear that you love him, well if he thinks that you'll just sit around and wait, he may make you do just that. You will become his "back up plan" so to speak. You need to move out on your own. Find a cheaper apartment until you get on your feet. Spend your money wisely. You can do it, people do it everyday. When I moved out at 18 I lived in this small one bedroom apartment which I HATED! But it's all I could afford. Now I'm happy in a place with a LOT more room. You have to work for it, but it can be done. Get out of this "sticky" situation! Do you have a friend that would split rent and bills with you? I have faith that you will figure it out, now you need faith in yourself. Good luck girl!

    <3 Leslie
    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jan 11, 2008, 09:30 AM
    What do you meen by "head" games?
    bibeto1's Avatar
    bibeto1 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jan 11, 2008, 09:36 AM
    I will do what you suggested - I will take apartment on my on.
    I have 2 offers, so maybe it is better to try to live alone , to be independent, like you said.

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