[starscollide]

My friend (recently turned friends with benefits), texted me the other morning to say:

"I heard you can tell its big if it scrapes against your back molars...is that true? LOL"

I feel embarrassed asking if it meant he was looking to hook up, so I just responded as if taking the question literally and said I'd never heard that before. Guys... was he looking to hook up again?

Before the comments about FWB come flooding in, we're just friends, I've known him for quite some time, it just came about since neither of us have time for a relationship right now...

[little firefly]

Yeah, it sounds to me like he might have been hinting around for a hook up. I was in a FWB situation at one time and I always knew that he wanted to get together whenever he would send me that sort of a text message. It was kind of his way of giving me a signal that he wanted to hook up for the evening.

[talaniman]

Yeah, I would say he needs a few minutes from you.

[starscollide]

Yep, turns out both of you were right... my only question is how do you keep it from becoming all about the sex so that you still have a friendship? Its not just him, I have a fairly healthy sexual drive and its easy to text back and forth, have the flirty banter, but I just want to make sure we still have a friendship. Nor do I know how to say that to him without sounding like I'm rejecting him. I just want to keep an even balance.

[little firefly]

I think that will be the hard part, as far as trying to keep a an even balance. Unfortunately, in my situation I had thought that my FWB and I were really good friends, I mean that's what we started as. Well, he started seeing someone and pretty much shut me out all together... No more benefits, and actually no more friendship either. It left me really hurt.

If I were you I would sit him down and really have a heart to heart with him about it. To be honest if I had it to do over again, I would never have been in that kind of arrangement. I ended up losing a really good friend because of it.

I wish you the best of luck.

[talaniman]

The only thing that will balance this relationship is doing something besides hooking up for sex. If the only communication you have is about doing the wild thing, then that's all you will ever have, until one of you decides to go another direction with someone else.