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    ATFGOLD's Avatar
    ATFGOLD Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 15, 2007, 11:42 AM
    She won't tell her ex about us and still talks to him A lot.
    OK so I'm dating this girl, and the way we got together was sticky to begin with. 2 months ago, I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend, we both left them and now were going out with each other. However, my ex girlfriend knows about this girl and knows I like her, her ex boyfriend has heard and asked questions but she tells him its nothing. She says she's afraid of what hell do if he finds out but I can't stand how she won't tell him and we can not openly kiss at school because she's afraid he might find out. They were in love before, and were always on and off, he still calls her all the time and they still hang out sometimes.
    Is this valid reason to think she still likes him?
    Why won't she tell him?

    I just called her and asked if she still likes him (an hour ago) and now she's acting as if I'm at fault for asking. She left her phone at my house and they still text and call each other often, I even read a text with them saying the whole "i love you....i love you more" kind of thing.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO?:confused:
    LostInHisEyez's Avatar
    LostInHisEyez Posts: 130, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 15, 2007, 01:03 PM
    She's playing you. I did that once..i went out with such a nice great guy but i broke up with him to date this hot "smooth" jerk. I regretted leaving the nice guy becuz i knew he wouldn't hurt me no matter what, and wanna know what happened to that jerk? He left me because of "drama" issues. jerk and me dated for 1 month.

    I was so mad, but...i got my nice guy back and im never letting him go,

    But, maybe she liked the thought of having a better relationship but she didnt fully realize how much she felt for that other dude?

    Sit her down and tell her that you broke up with your girlfriend and you told her the truth, and if she wants your relationship to work she'll tell her ex the same. Its just a thing of if you two dont work out she'll have someone else to fall back on. [backup guy] which sucks because she's not putting any faith in your relationship.

    Hope some of this made sense? :confused:
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Dec 15, 2007, 03:26 PM
    Really depends on the age of those who are in this love... shape.

    High school? Do as LostInHisEyez says.
    College? Leave her. There's a million more.
    Older? You're still in school?
    ATFGOLD's Avatar
    ATFGOLD Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 17, 2007, 07:45 PM
    Yeah were in high school, I think your right and it's a good idea to tell her that I had to tell my girlfriend, so if she wants anything she has to tell her boyfriend. Thanks.
    BayB's Avatar
    BayB Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Dec 17, 2007, 11:38 PM
    She's still in love with him and she's not ready to move on.
    All the signs are there.
    Tell her straight up that you care deeply about her and if she doesn't tell him you will..
    And if you have to it will be over until she's ready to commit.
    Don't let her be in control.
    You have options.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Dec 18, 2007, 02:59 PM
    Give her her phone back, and tell her good bye. Why waste time on someone that isn't into you, or ready to cut the past loose? Before you say but, do you know how many nice females are out there, and one could be for you if you weren't wasting your time trying to have something that ain't there for you.
    Matteus's Avatar
    Matteus Posts: 199, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Dec 18, 2007, 04:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ATFGOLD
    OK so im dating this girl, and the way we got together was sticky to begin with. 2 months ago, I had a gf and she had a bf, we both left them and now were going out with each other. However, my ex girlfriend knows about this girl and knows i like her, her ex boyfriend has heard and asked questions but she tells him its nothing. She says she's afraid of what hell do if he finds out but i can't stand how she won't tell him and we can not openly kiss at school because she's afraid he might find out. They were in love before, and were always on and off, he still calls her all the time and they still hang out sometimes.
    Is this valid reason to think she still likes him?
    why wont she tell him?

    I just called her and asked if she still likes him (an hour ago) and now shes acting as if im at fault for asking. She left her phone at my house and they still text and call each other often, i even read a text with them saying the whole "i love you....i love you more" kind of thing.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO?:confused:
    Ultimatums won't bring anything good! Whatever you say to her about her "ex", will be in fact counterproductive, and will be used against you from her part. You may also be called a controlling type, after she has healed her hurts from her old relationship, and as my ex did, she may even tell you you are a controlling type for making her break with her ex (sounds childish and ironic, doesn't it?). Your best move is to let them alone with their ups and downs. Although they may breakup, your biggest chance with her is to be a shoulder to cry, or have a rebound relationship, but you will never be sure it will be a real and a close relationship as you might think. Good and real relations begin when every partner is all clear and really moved on from their past!

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