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    NYCgal's Avatar
    NYCgal Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Dec 14, 2007, 09:55 AM
    Nobody really helped the first time I asked
    My cousin is now going through the same thing as I did, but she is not married. Her boyfriend is cheating on her and she has now moved all her things home and she is heart broken. But my problem is: I am still so hurt that my husband lied about cheating on me so now we are fighting more than anything because it is like we are re-living it through my cousin. How do I get over this, so I don't push him away? I am sure that he is on the edge and to be honest I know that I am mean and I do it on purpose but I don't want to lose him. Please HELP!!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Dec 14, 2007, 10:00 AM
    The only thing you can do is forgive him and not hold on to the past. Communicate more so that you aren't allowing things to build up in you. It is only natural to feel the way you do but if you don't learn how to over come it you could end up losing him. Could you and maybe him go to counseling or something?
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #3

    Dec 14, 2007, 10:04 AM
    Could it be that you are angry at yourself for staying with a man that cheated on you?
    bustertypsy's Avatar
    bustertypsy Posts: 24, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Dec 14, 2007, 05:07 PM
    If you constantly think about his adultry it will eventually fester inside your being.It is so hard to get past a cheating husband.You should consider professional therapy.If you are not progressing naturally,help is essential.But for me,a cheat has to prove himself/herself for the rest of their life.Are you OK with that?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 14, 2007, 05:38 PM
    What you need is time to let the emotional dust settle, and to get control of your emotions. Your so mad at the world and have to see this other female all the time. Its little wonder you are out of control. Get some help ASAP! This is a long process, and you will need guidance through it. Honestly, your b/f and his mistress need to be out of your life for a while. They can only remind you of your misery, and make rational decisions impossible. Can you get away for a time and seek help?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #6

    Dec 14, 2007, 05:51 PM
    Obviously you haven't forgiven him entirely before you guys got back together. Sometimes, marriage counseling is an option, but not many people can afford the time or the money for it. I don't have an advice for "how to forgive someone for cheating on you"... mainly because those who have cheated on me... I no longer speak to them. Perhaps you two can avoid the topic of the cousin? Just out of curiosity, what is there to fight when talking about the cousin?
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