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mishakes · Dec 14, 2007, 03:43 PM

I think I already know what answers will be coming my way but thought I'd post this question in the hopes that maybe my situation is a little different. Ok.. here we go... its quite the story!

Met this great girl a few months back and we hit it off immediately, she was just coming out of a 4 year relationship me out of a 7 year itch. First couple of months were perfect, seriously amazing... she even blurted out I love you once or twice... and I have never felt so much passion between me and anyone ever before - its intense. About two weeks back I started feeling odd about it all, I was mad for her but she seemed to be pulling back. The dreaded I need space, haven't had time to get over my ex yadayada came up and I was mortified as I thought there was nothing wrong. I gave her , her space for a few days and she called last Friday. We hung out Friday and Saturday and had an amazing couple of days, not to mention some intense sex. On the Saturday night I dropped her off early and went to console and old friend who just got dumped. On my way home I was pulled over by the ride program and given the breathalizer ( I only had 2 drinks but my friend next to me was plastered so I can see why they did this). Anyway, I was stressed, went crazy basically since it was 2am and all I could think of was how I needed to talk to her... she always finds a way to calm me down. Alas, when I showed up at her apt(first time I've eer done this unanounced), she saw me out from her window and thought I was a stalker - I rang the doorbell and she let me in.. but subsequently yelled at me for showing up at 2am and peering in her window! She said she was scared of me and an ex used to show up and peer in her window(I wasn't peering by the way I was just in the parking lot getting out of my car!) Next day I tried to talk to her and she just told me to leave her alone for a while... but then She called me on the Monday and met me for lunch... she said she really needed time and she just wanted to keep things simple between us more random- too fast too soon crap... we left lunch and I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she looked at me and said "im not kissing you ok" craziness. So this week has been hell for me... trying not to contact her... but two nights ago, drunk as a skunk I called her at 2am confessing my love ( at least I think that's what I did)... and now I look like some crazy person. She called me last night and said lets take 4 or 5 days to ourselves and see how we feel. So yah I think that's it! Ps. I know that she started getting weird about 2 weeks ago and I know that 2 weeks ago her ex started dating an old friend of mine (do you think she might be not over him etc?) any help would be great... wow, feels better to let it all out.

mishakes · Dec 14, 2007, 03:51 PM

One more thing... if she does dump me this week... how should I react? I'm always really terrible when I get dumped... need advice on it! Thanks

talaniman · Dec 14, 2007, 06:53 PM

Chances are neither of you is over your long relationships, and just took off to fast. Nows the time to get over the past, without pressure from each other. If she dumps you, simply disappear from her life, and leave her and relationships alone until you've healed. Honestly that's what's needed whether she dumps you or not.

mishakes · Dec 16, 2007, 08:43 AM

Update!

She called me this morning and said she didn't want to see me and gave me the ax. Oh well guess I was the rebound. Is there any chance of me getting her back? Or should I just move on and let go. Thanks!

ciarz52 · Dec 16, 2007, 08:59 AM

Move on. Best thing is to just be with other friends that care about you and that will take your mind of her for a while. I know its hrd inthis situation, and there's not much anyone can tell you to make you not want her, but maybe just hngin out with the guys for a while will take your maind of it, and maybe find anotheer girl to hang out with osomewhat quickly woiuld also ease your mind

talaniman · Dec 16, 2007, 09:04 AM

Time to heal and find your own happiness. See the links in my signature for some great insights into what to do after a break up.

mishakes · Dec 16, 2007, 09:09 AM

Thanks for your insights everyone. I'm going through hell today, but life goes on and I'm now a single successful guy. Just sucks she had to do this just before xmas and my 30th birthday is only weeks away! Crappy.

ciarz52 · Dec 16, 2007, 09:19 AM

Yea man, u'll work through it, good luck!!

mishakes · Dec 18, 2007, 12:30 PM

Major update!

So. Called the ex today to say hi and let her know I want to exchange stuff ( I know it goes against all the rules but I didn't care cause I was a wuss this morning)... and she drops a bombshell. Tells me if I attempt to call or text her again... there is no chance of even a friendship at the least! HA. Way to make it way easier on me... eh. I actually feel way better now that she said this.. is that odd? Plus... I would never want to be friends with someone as un-compassionate as her anyway. Good riddance!