[mugure]

I have been unhappy for many years of my life , but I have kept a bold face. I have tried to hide my unhappiness with a great big smile on my face. I have had no romance in my life, I have been on vibrators and I fantasise about other men. I hate it. I am tempted to sleep around, sometimes the feelings are unbearable. I was toldl that sex is not the most important thing in life, I am financially stable , and my children are happy. I get so sad about myself wasting away.
He is a good guy, a good friend, but I do not want all this. I am tired of living with a friend. I need to be loved all night long, that is the way I feel right now. The worst thing is my many and long momments of loneliness.I crave for love. I crave for someone to hold my hand and love me all night long... I do not know how to describe it, what would you people there out do. Should I continue to mask my unhappiness, should I live for the sake of my children? Should I live with him because he is a good friend and provider, should I do what people have told me to sleep around and get it outside marrieage? I am really struggling I need help.

[Homegirl 50]

Cheating in your marriage is not the answer. Have you spoken with your husband about how you feel?

[mjl]

Have you tried marriage counselling? From what I've herd it can do wonders.

[connie-mom]

First of all I come from the opposet of you I have had the love me all night long four times and out of that 4 kids by 4 different dads and who were not stable but love to hold my hand and make love all night long etc etc I do not think you should mask you feelings and I do not think marridge counselling will help if it love making and sex you crave.. what I would try is to get him interested again if you feel this way maby he feels this way have you asked? Maby all you need is time for you two to renew you sex life whether its with a fantisy night once a week or a romantic night with some exotic stuff(wearing mask, food,powders, wips leather,lace or getting tottaly crap faced drunk together etc what ever might turn both your cranks that night) sometimes changing you rutine can change the sexual incounters between you to. But an open relation ship as in talking to each other can do wonders to... leaving him for sex is not the smartest thing to do it would probbly upset the kids and they mihgt resent you they are pritty smart for kids and in the end you might think oh why did I do that!! It was not all that bad! Try suprissing him one night all decked out in leather and have some sented candles some erotic music and get him going remind him of his sexual animal instincts you would be surprised what it could do!!

[Homegirl 50]

She will correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is not so much about sex as it is affection and intimacy. Maybe the sex is not there are all or there is very little of it. This is why I asked if she had talked to her husband about what she is feeling.
If I'm wrong, then yes I agree, you don't leave your husband because you're not getting sex all night, especially if there are no problems otherwise in the marriage.
Do counseling at any rate. Exhaust all measures before you give up on a marriage unless of course there is abuse.
Talk to your husband if you have not already or talk to a therapist. Maybe there are some things there unrelated to sex.

[connie-mom]

She will correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is not so much about sex as it is affection and intimacy. Maybe the sex is not there are all or there is very little of it. This is why I asked if she had talked to her husband about what she is feeling.
If I'm wrong, then yes I agree, you don't leave your husband because you're not getting sex all night, especially if there are no problems otherwise in the marraige.
Do counseling at any rate. Exhaust all measures before you give up on a marriage unless of course there is abuse.
Talk to your husband if you have not already or talk to a therapist. Maybe there are some things there unrelated to sex.

Totally agree said it better then me lol

[talaniman]

How old are you and your husband, and how long have you been married or together?? How many kids do you have, and how old are they? Do you have friends or hobbies? What kind of social life do you lead? Do you work outside the home? I know a lot of questions, but I would appreciate answers to get a better picture of you and your circumstances.

[450donn]

Sounds like you are in need of a candid conversation with your husband. And some counselling would not be out of order.

[donf]

Mugure,

Are these depressions wearing at you 24 hours a day? Have you considered seeking some help from your priest or clergy member? Are the depressions totally overwhelming? Is your husband also depressed?

You can start helping yourself by finding things in your life that shows you that you are loved. Look for them, they are there. A child's hug. A kiss and hug from your husband that's unexpected. See if you can find the love you need in your husband's eyes.

For me, the feeling of love comes from all directions. My lady's smile, the laugh in her eyes. Holding hands, a walk, sharing a bath. Little things that she does for and with me. Sex is an absolute sharing of love and a giving of one's self. But sex is a small part of the entire marriage. Sharing plans, dreams, fears, nightmares. Touch is a neon light of love. Tell each other that you love each other. Use the words of love. I could probably go on for a little more.

If you search and still don't find what you are needing, ask your husband how does he show you he loves you. I show my love for Bonnie by doing things for her. Like the wash or the ironing, cleaning up. Reading to her, talking with her. Cooking! There's a biggie. I'm retired so having dinner ready when she gets home is greatly appreciated by her.

Find the ways your are loved and focus on them. If you are having problems with sex, talk to your husband and let him know what is pleasurable and what is not.

Sometimes we guys are dumb as rocks and can go for years thinking that you know how much we love you but you don't have a clue because you are looking in another direction for the signs of love we send out to you.

[N0help4u]

The grass isn't always greener! IF you were to leave your husband for what you want you will most likely find that that is what you MIGHT get for awhile and then 3 months, 6 months, a year later the guy figures he has you where he wants you and then you are in the same place you are in right now with your husband.
No matter how miserable you feel now if you radically change your life you most likely would always be looking back and remembering the 'good times' you did have and wishing you could go back.

[George_1950]

No romance and tired of living with a friend. There are many factors that must be considered, especially the age(s) of kid(s). I believe counseling is appropriate, with a view toward a trial period of separation. Some kind of change needs to be made.

[talaniman]

Hard to help when the OP hasn't posted in 10 days.