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    teddyt's Avatar
    teddyt Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 20, 2006, 11:24 AM
    Unhappy in marriage
    I want a divorce. I am unhappy. I don't think I ever loved my husband. I just want to take my child and go to my mother's apartment, but he says he will fight me for custody if I leave. I do not want to risk losing my child. I have already agreed to let him see her whenever he wants. I do not trust him to take her unsupervised because I believe he would try to take her from me. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

    I do not believe I would lose custody of my daughter. I know he would never be awarded full custody because of his terrible past. But I am sort of afraid that she would be taken from both of us. I have agoraphobia. I'm a good mother, but I have panic attacks if I leave my home.

    I don't hate him. I just don't love him and I want to get away. I want to end this marriage but I'm afraid.

    He is not abusive. He just wants to be with his child 24/7 and will not compromise.

    What should I do? How can I get legal or personal help? My mother has said her therapist has said she shouldn't help me. I want to cry.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #2

    Nov 20, 2006, 11:27 AM
    You need to speak to an attorney. You will have to file for divorce and you need na attorney to help you prepare and deal with a custody battle.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Nov 24, 2006, 09:31 AM
    I'd like to know just why you are unhappy in your marriage and want out. He doesn't abuse you and apparently loves his child. Doesn't exactly sound like a recipe for divorce here, unless you've left out some important details. Please clarify.
    SINGLE4's Avatar
    SINGLE4 Posts: 189, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Nov 24, 2006, 10:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by s_cianci
    I'd like to know just why you are unhappy in your marriage and want out. He doesn't abuse you and apparently loves his child. Doesn't exactly sound like a recipe for divorce here, unless you've left out some important details. Please clarify.
    Just because you aren't physical abused and the parent being left loves their child doesn't mean that it should be a happy marriage. There is more to a marriage than that. Respect, understanding, commitment.. etc... (Yes... we need more info).

    I do believe that people give up on marriage too easy. Divorce is toooo easy. I am divorced and I married a man I was not in love with but he got me pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing. I was absolutely miserable with this man. It seemed as though my husband enjoyed fighting in front of our child. I would walk away and he'd yell even louder. This is not health for the child.

    Teddy... before you divorce, see a therapist or counselor. Make sure this is what you want to do.

    This can only be your decision... not ours!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    Nov 24, 2006, 11:13 AM
    Yes it sounds like time for marriage counseling, and perhaps there were on both sides, unrealistic dreams of what marriage was going to be like.

    But if he is a good man, he will get unsupervised visitation at least, and perhaps joint custody. And that is only fair, since he is the father.
    Most likely he is saying what he is, because he sees you threatening to take his child away from him?

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