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catchmestacy · Dec 5, 2007, 08:04 PM

Hi I'm 21 and my boyfriend of 1 yr and more recently broke up with me for no real reason. I know for a fact that he is going through some difficult emotional times right now. He is stressed about not having what he think a 28 yr old need to have at his age.
Our relationships like every other one had its ups and downs. These few months had been trying for us and I thought it would test the fiber of our relationship.

But he got up one day and said it was over. That him & me were different from each other and would never make it . There were no specific reason he gave me.

I know that all those other things in his life that are not right cannot be changed over night. The only thing disposal or replaceable is me , so he did just that.

He still loves me he told me so. And he believes that for a relationship to work both people have to be perfect matches. I don't agree.

I want to revive the relationship and would go to any extent to do just that. But he refuses all help. I want him to see a counselor. Seek help talk to someone for both our benefits.

Should I give him time? Or leave him alone? Or keep talking to him about it?

Please advise .

talaniman · Dec 6, 2007, 12:06 PM

He is not willing to work on this relationship, so move on. It does take two.

catchmestacy · Dec 6, 2007, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He is not willing to work on this relationship, so move on. It does take two.

I know it takes two, But I really love him and know that he does too. I want him to realize that we have a good thing. I want him to see a counselor, friend, anyone .
I don't think decisions made in haste or with the trauma of a situation is the best thing.

And I was in the relationship too so I do need to know what went wrong .

What do you think?

talaniman · Dec 6, 2007, 03:59 PM

I think your expectations are unrealistic, and your missing the point, he is not willing to work with you, or go to counseling to help this relationship. Don't let your denial of the facts blind you, and give you false hope. You have no control over his actions, and stubbornly holding on will only make it worse.

catchmestacy · Dec 6, 2007, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think your expectations are unrealistic, and your missing the point, he is not willing to work with you, or go to counseling to help this relationship. Don't let your denial of the facts blind you, and give you false hope. You have no control over his actions, and stubbornly holding on will only make it worse.

I guess you are right! Its painful but true.

talaniman · Dec 6, 2007, 04:18 PM

I know your pain, as I have felt it many times. It hurts but won't kill you. Pain warns us of being in a bad place, and to get out of it. After all that pain though the experience made me ready for the one whom I married, and had babies with, more than 30 years ago. Be happy and someone will want to share it with you. Enjoy the life you will have, as the pain is put further behind you every day.

zyi · Dec 6, 2007, 04:56 PM

Its time to move on. I have been in your position before. And had a relationship where I thought that that was my chance for happyness, but after he wanted space and I gave it we soon ended up apart but it was all for the better cause a few years after that I met the man of my life and we never argue and he never wants time away from me. So just keep looking cause that special someone is out there, and if this one isn't willing to work with it it will never work. Also keep an open mind I met the love of my life on IMVU and he lived like two blocks from me, so you never know what will happen just out of the blue hehe :)
Anyway Goodluck and I hope that you find that special someone who is just the perfect fit for you (and that doesn't always mean to like the same things) :)

catchmestacy · Dec 6, 2007, 05:37 PM

Thank you for all your support guys.!

I will never be the same again after this break up it has taught me a lot about myself and about people.

I still haven't been able to let go of him. But I am trying my very best. I'm taking classes and making more an effort to see my friends more often, working longer . Taking time to take care of myself.

Now all I have to figure out is how to sleep. Haven't slept since the break up. Maybe I should go see someone about that. I need a sleeping aid maybe .

Anyway... Thank you for your support!

zyi · Dec 6, 2007, 06:09 PM

Try a teddy bear and the bed against the wall. Helped me for a long time.