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    Irishdame's Avatar
    Irishdame Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 28, 2007, 08:35 PM
    My Husband calls me names.
    Sometimes my husband calls me names (that which will not be repeated)... but when I think about his family life and the environment that he was raised in... I understand where it comes from. I have spoken with him multiple times about the way it makes me feel and have calmly and rationally asked him to stop, and have even had to resort to telling him point blank it needed to quit or the marriage was going to have an abrupt end. After sitting down to chat (which mind you is pain staking for him... he doesn't tolerate it very well or at all) the problem seems to be resolved and then resurfaces a few weeks or a month or so later. Any helpful hints for helping him to understand where I am coming from? I find it extremely frustrating and heartbreaking... because he will say that he was "just joking" when there are times I would just love to give it right back to him. However, I try to refrain and try my best to live by the rule that you treat people how you want to be treated.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Nov 28, 2007, 08:41 PM
    Sweetie, you are in a verbally/emotionall abusive situation and you are trying to have a baby. I want you to know that having a baby will not stop his actions.

    His environment and the way he was raised does have something to do with it, but if he loved you for who you are he would not do this. This is not a good environment to be pregnant in, let alone raise a child.

    You say you are a nursing student. How far along in the course are you? RN? LPN? CNA?

    The answer to these questions will help me formulate the rest of my answers.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #3

    Nov 28, 2007, 08:44 PM
    You are forgiving bad behavior.

    That is not functional.

    That is dyfunctional.


    Set a line, and if he goes over it - he may lose you.

    EMPOWERMENT= a woman who does not feel emotionally or economically trapped.

    Life is short. You don't need to be called a F--- B--- or a C---- or whatever...
    That is trash talk and does not follow the two key components of a real realtionship:

    LOVE and RESPECT...............


    LOVE and RESPECT... [/B]

    LOVE and RESPECT... [/B]

    LOVE and RESPECT... [/B]

    repeat this as you decide your future.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Nov 28, 2007, 09:05 PM
    You already told him, stop or you would leave, why are you still there

    If he will not go for marriage counseling, sometimes at least a short separation will jump start them into thinking straight

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