[mfreyhol]

My 5 yr old daughter loves to crawl into bed with my wife and I in the morning on weekends. I have to confess that my relationship with her is somewhat physical in that we love to cuddle. No, nothing sick or perverted... that will NEVER happen.

But lately I'm wondering if all this cuddling is healthy for her. Do I need to start saying no and kicking her out of the bed? Is she too old for this much cuddling? I'm scared that it will hurt my relationship with her and that she won't feal loved...

[asking]

Cuddling is very healthy for kids. Physical touch releases hormones that lead to calmness and kind feelings in both males and females. Hospitalize preemies who are held a lot grow faster than premies who are not held.

But be very clear about boundaries. You don't say if your wife has any issues with this, but if she does, you should listen to her. I have found that some men (and probably women, too) are somewhat unclear about boundaries. For example, my ex husband used to reach beneath the elastic of my son's pjs and massage his upper posterior while he was falling asleep at night. It made me uncomfortable and I still think it was inappropriate. And yesterday, my current boyfriend started massaging my adult sister's back, although he barely knows her (and she told me she was uncomfortable with that). If you could tell us what your cuddling consists of exactly, we could give better feedback about whether it's appropriate or not. But hugging your own children, especially young ones, is important. They need to feel loved, accepted, and safe.
Asking

[stonewilder]

I used to jump in my Dad's lap or lay on the couch with him till I was probably 8 or 9 years old. After a while I grew out of it on my own and your daughter will too when she is ready. Your daughter will one day look back on those times you held her in your arms and remember how safe and loved she was in daddy's arms. One of the first things that came to my mind after my Dad died was how much I wanted to sit in his lap one more time and feel his big gentle arms wrapped around me. You just keep cuddling that little one as long as she wants you to! You made me cry!:p

[Fr_Chuck]

I worry because you seem concerned, are you having feelings that you are not telling us about.

[mfreyhol]

Thanks for the reply. First of all, my wife has no issues with it at all (at least that she's willing to admit). So I don't think that's a problem.

The cuddling consists of hugs/kisses/spooning. She loves when I pretend to be a monster where I nibble on her legs and tummy... it's really just another version of tickle monster. She may rub my head or arms a little too. There is no touching near the privates and I even try to avoid the chest area... I just don't want her to relate any future adult relationships to me.

It seems to bring both of us joy right now, but I don't want it to affect her in the future. Will any of this give her "daddy issues" that will keep her from living a healthy life in adulthood?

[NeedKarma]

I just finished cuddling my six year daughter on the couch. Kids needs hugs and cuddling, it actually allows them to be more independent to face the world.

[ScottGem]

Well some people equate tickling with torture so you need to be sure she enjoys that.

But cuddling, hugging etc. are healthy expressions of a father daughter relationship. Let your child decide when she grows out of it.

[mfreyhol]

That all makes sense. I'll just let her decide when the cuddling stops... I'm sure she'll grow up soon. Probably sooner than I'd like. I'd better enjoy it while I can!

Thanks for all the help!