[scrambled_eggs]

My son is 12 and has mental illness. He has driven everyone to the point of insanity. We cannot stand to live with him anymore. I do not know what to do. I have asked about signing him over to the state (GA) and I've been told there's no way to do that. I've asked if he could be put into a therapeutic group home and awarded to the state because he is a threat to our home and is nothing but trouble constantly. I was told that we'd have to call the police and press charges against him. Then he'd be back home with us though as soon as the police felt he was fine and no longer a problem. My son knows how to "work the system" and will act like an "angel" for a few days and be back home. We don't want him back. His dad and I are divorced. I'm now trying to just have him signed over to his dad. Thing is once his dad has troubles with him (and he will) he will most likely send him back to me. How do I get rid of him? There is no peace in this house with him here and I'm just getting a run around trying to get any help at all. Thanks.:mad:

[charlotte234s]

Why is he behaving the way he does, have you taken him to doctors, specialists, therapists, psychiatrists? He needs help, not put out like an unwanted stray. He is your son, and you are responsible for him, not the state. If you don't want him anymore, sign over your parental rights and send him to his dad's, I guess. It just seems a little harsh to me to want him gone for good no matter what. I'm sorry if that seems rude maybe I don't understand. Either way, good luck.

[scrambled_eggs]

Yes he has been seeing psychiatrists, specialists, and therapists since he was four years old. He has been on medication that long also. He destroys property, threatens our lives, does nothing asked of him, lies to the police about us until we have to be questioned by them for abuse, pushed his brother down the stairs, threatened a neighbor with a knife, and threatened a kid at school with a gun. This is throughout the years what has happened with him. We see no hope in any more doctors. We need him out of our home. His dad is just as mentally messed up as he is and I wanted to place him in therapeutic group home so that he would get the care he needs instead of back with his dad, but even the attorneys say they can't help me. Is it all about money? Or can they really not do anything?:mad:

[charlotte234s]

If he has been threatening people with weapons, the police should know, charges should be pressed against him by the school and the neighbors. :(


Also, where does he get access to guns and knives at 12 years old? LOCK THOSE UP. He's obviously a danger to others and himself, I can tell, so I don't know why the police don't feel that way.

[J_9]

It sounds as though he may have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) or most likely CD (Conduct Disorder).

Children with Conduct Disorder act exactly as you are talking and many end up in prison later in life. (sorry to sound so terrible, but it's true).

Check out this site Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD) in Children and Adolescents: Diagnosis and Treatment

In some ways, conduct disorder is just a worse version of ODD. However recent research suggests that there are some differences. Children with ODD seem to have worse social skills than those with CD. Children with ODD seem to do better in school. (1). Conduct disorder is the most serious childhood psychiatric disorder. Approximately 6-10% of boys and 2-9% of girls have this disorder.

Here is the Definition.
A. A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major society rules are violated. At least three of the following criteria must be present in the last 12 months, and at least one criterion must have been present in the last 6 months.
Aggression to people and animals

often bullies, threatens, or intimidates others

often initiates physical fights

has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun)

physically cruel to animals

physically cruel to people

has stolen while confronting a victim ( mugging, purse snatching, extortion, armed robbery)
Destruction of property

has deliberately engaged in fire setting with the intention of causing serious damage

has deliberately destroyed other's property other than by fire setting
Deceitfulness or theft

has broken into someone else's house, building or car

often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid work

has stolen items of nontrivial value without confronting a victim (shoplifting, forgery)
Serious violations of rules

often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions, beginning before 13 years of age

has run away from home overnight at least twice without returning home for a lengthy period

often skips school before age 13

Do you not have a state run mental health facility in your area?

[scrambled_eggs]

He does have Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder, and ADHD. But I already know that. I need to know how to have him placed into a therapeutic group home and awarded custody to the state. We absolutely can't take it anymore. We have 4 other boys and the youngest is two. We have to think of them also. We live in Georgia.

[J_9]

Have you gotten any help from the people at NAMI?

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness-The Nation's Voice on Mental Illness-Formerly National Alliance for the Mentally Ill

These people are wonderful with mental illness, they know all the laws and how you can arrange for this.

pushed his brother down the stairs, threatened a neighbor with a knife, and threatened a kid at school with a gun.

This part sounds more like CD than ODD, he may very well be misdiagnosed. If that is the case, you have a stronger case for getting him out of your home.

Please call NAMI, they really can help you.