[skifastr11]

Around 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of almost 2.5 years and I decided to break up. We're both young (both 18) and we just started college. It was a distance relationship, but barely... we're both in boston and around 1 hour apart. The issue was basically that she didn't want to feel tied down at age 18, and I guess I felt that as well, but not to the extent she did. I might have gotten there over time, but who knows.

The main point of this is that I've made a lot of progress in getting over the grieving process, however I just recently hung out with a friend of mine of 6 years or more. She was my first friend when I moved to my hometown and we've been really close all these years. We kind of have semi-but-not-really history together (we kind of went out sophomore year high school for a week or two) but it didn't damage the friendship, but only made us closer friends and we are comfortable saying basically anything to each other. My now ex had always been jealous (though she rarely expressed it) whenever I hung out with her, and I guess understandably, even though nothing ever happened (I never more than hugged her when we parted ways a couple times).

But this past weekend, we went to a concert together (the police) and we had dinner and stuff beforehand and then we came back to my school and hung out here and stuff and stayed the night. We ended up talking for I guess around a total of 6-7 hours from 5:30pm to 4:00am (we talked from around 12:30-4:00am almost no stop... just about anything and everything). Basically the only time we really didn't talk was during the actual performance. We seemed to see eye-to-eye on basically everything that came up in conversation and there wasn't a single dull moment the whole night (I was basically kept laughing, smiling, interested and talking the whole time), it was probably one of the most fun nights I've had in a long time. I didn't miss my old relationship at all that night (I actually turned my phone off because I was having so much fun I didn't want to deal with anything else that night)

Throughout the whole night, I all of a sudden felt this click between us that I never noticed before, partly I guess because we never spent quality time like this together. Nothing physical happened that night between us (just as a tid-bit of information) because I knew even if we both wanted it, it wouldn't have been right. I guess I started to feel attracted to her again like I did around 3 years ago, and the whole time I tried to think whether these feelings were because of HER or because I felt like I wanted another relationship back. I felt 50-50 on the issue but I'm not sure if these are just the feelings of a rebound or not. I guess I feel this way because of the connection I felt... that I never really met someone who I had so much in common with and there are very few people who I get along with so well. I understand I need to just see how things go from here and I'm not drawing any conclusions about her feelings but it scares me that I think I see myself falling for someone already, such a short time out of a very difficult break up and such a long relationship. I haven't told her any of this, but I don't know if I'm reading too much into this and also if part of the reason I'm reading too much into is because I might be starting to rebound.

[jolienoire]

Be careful, everything is always good in the beginning of any relationship... We always meet someone after a break up, remember you are still in a vulnerable state, so making quick decisions is not a good idea.. You just got out of a relationship, and the thing with rebound relationships is that if you break up with this new girl you will be trying to cope now with the breakup of two relationships versus one.. Take your time, it is too soon to be thinking this person is the one.. Don't spend so much time either, space is required at times.. What is the rush anyway your 18 have fun, you still have college to worry about make that your first priority.. No need to dwindle too much on getting into something so quickly take your time, if it is meant to be then it will be...

[enigmagnetic]

You sound like a nice guy. All caring and stuff. All I got to say is "Hey man slow down". It's cool that you feel the way you do but there is no rush. Start cultivating those feelings. Stay friends for a while longer but hang out more. You sound like you're 50/50 infatuation/caring. How great it was may just be your perception. Bottom line, it's not something you should immediately dismiss, but you have to remember she is a long time friend, you could ruin the friendship if the feeling is not mutual. Take your time.

[skifastr11]

I know I shouldn't get into anything for a while, because I know that at this point it would just be a rebound. Before I get into anything, I need to be able to think of my old relationship without getting upset and be able to look at an old picture and be able to accept that it's over and that it was great while it lasted. Only at that point can I start to move on.

However, life is always super-unpredictable and this thing happened and completely threw me for a loop. And for some reason I also kind of get that vibe that she likes me too (those little body language signs that you kind of pick up). I guess it wouldn't be completely outrageous to say that we both kind of liked each other a little bit but never really did anything about it (which might explain why we are such close friends). Maybe I'm reading too much into it because, I won't lie, I still miss my old relationship and I might seeing things that aren't really there.

Basically I think I need to not take any action just yet, and take some more time to get over my old relationship and to see where this new thing takes me (if anywhere). But are there any real tips out there to keep in mind to avoid a rebound and pain to the other person and more hurt to myself?

[jolienoire]

Basically I think I need to not take any action just yet, and take some more time to get over my old relationship and to see where this new thing takes me (if anywhere). But are there any real tips out there to keep in mind to avoid a rebound and pain to the other person and more hurt to myself?

Yes there is a cure for avoiding rebound relationships, don't spend so much time with someone else to catch feelings.. balance out your time, seeing and talking to this new girl everyday is not going to help you.. Maybe call her here hang out here and there and if she is a true friend will understand that... What if your ex comes back to you and you really wanted her back and she found out that you moved on so quickly? And then it doesn't work out with this other girl... That will leave you alone, and probably in regret... Just take your time, heal first and as you stated when you have come to accept and know that you will never be with your ex again or can accept the fact that it just wouldn't work out then and only then you can begin to work on what you really want.. It's hard when you are in college, with the breaks and when semesters are over.. And people go back home.. It's painful.. Just take your time... Trust me..