[LoveMyMarine]

My Fiancé and I want to get married when he comes home on leave in Dec. He is in The marines and he has to go to iraq in Feb. I want to marry him because i love him so much :D and if worse comes to worse at least I will have his last name! So would it be wrong to do a civil ceremony now and while he is gone I can plan for the big wedding for us to have when he gets back?

He will be gone for 7 months! I mean we are not going to tell anyone that we are getting married before because then that would make them not want to come to the real wedding:confused:

Please give me your thoughts on this,

Thanks a bunch!:)

[DaBaAd]

If you're asking the question "is it wrong", then something else has transpired to make you believe that it might be or is making you feel guilty. Is it wrong for you? Do what is right for you. Don't give up control to someone else's opinions because legally it's not "wrong".

[LearningAsIGo]

The only thing that would be wrong is if you did it in secret.

My cousin did that. I was in her wedding and DURING the ceremony, we found out they had actually been married for a year in secret. It hurt everyone's feelings... that's what was wrong about it. I don't think anyone should get married in secret, or at least do it and then tell people. They don't want to feel like you "fooled" them into coming to a formal ceremony. If people want to come, they'll come if you're already married or not.

Are you worried that if you're already married your parents won't pay for another one? Be upfront... you don't want to start on a lie.

[N0help4u]

I would at least tell his parents and siblings prior to and invite them simply because of his going to Iraq. If he were to get killed over there problems could arise. One being they find out they weren't there or even told about a big event such as him getting married they will be devastated and take it out on you.
My son has his adopted family and his girlfriend besides me and I would be more than hurt if any of them kept anything about him from me. It is hard enough knowing he is in Iraq. I worry about him and when I will ever get to see him again everyday!

[macksmom]

My husband and I tried to do this... we just wanted to be married, and were only doing the whole "wedding" thing for family. I had a falling out with my mom and we were trying to come up with the money for our wedding on our own which was hard and was going to take longer than we thought.

We went and got married at the courthouse and wasn't going to tell ANYONE... then have a ceremony and still not ever tell anyone that we had already got married. Well once we were married for a few weeks... the secret was killing us, plus we then saw it as pointless to have a ceremony, and we thought if we told people we were already married, they would see a ceremony as pointless too.

So needless to say, we ended up telling everyone. A few of my siblings were a little upset, but got over it. But everyone else was happy for us... because they understood, in the end it wasn't about "everyone else" it was about us and what we wanted to do.
We sent out "We Did It" announcements and planned a wedding party... it was fun :)

[jillianleab]

Get married in December with your closest family and friends present (parents and siblings). Have someone film it, and have a small celebration after with the members who attended. Then plan a large reception in which you invite EVERYONE and take time out before dinner to show the video to the rest of the guests. That way everyone gets to "see" you get married, but you aren't tricking anyone or lying. You can still have the dress, the flowers, the cake, etc. You could even stand with your husband to the side of the screen as the video plays to give the visual illusion you are being re-married, but also so you and him feel you are getting married with all your family and friends present. You could even include some footage before the ceremony of you getting ready, etc, but for the sake of the guests, keep the video pretty short.