[seenbutnotheard]

Well after careful studying, I have diagnosed myself as having "permanent Learned helplessness" how do you treat this. It's not just some fantasy world I live in, and you have no idea everything I ever do is controlled, when I do things, how I do them, where and why. I get about 3 hours a day to do things I want to do but someone always seems to find something for me. I grown accustomed to it and I never question it anymore if fact I enjoy it and I can't take the pressure of making decisions for myself any more.

Which raises the question why am I writing this, maybe because I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to take care of myself as I'm graduating this year and I realize that and I don't want things to change? I don't think that's it though, but what ever you guys say don't mention prescription pills or seeing a psychologist I would rather kill myself. I don't even know why I'm posting this I probably won't listen to your answers. I don't care anymore. I guess I have one more thing to add, everyday I hear success stories of people and stuff, I see successful people, and it weighs down on me. Where someone else succeeds I have failed in preventing them from reaching their goal and thus in turn not succeeding, and it just seems like everything. I'm going to shut up now.

[firmbeliever]

Helplessness
Here is a good link with self help tips on overcoming learned helplessness.

I have a question for you, if you do not mind answering.
What is it about other people's success that bothers you most?I got a little confused by the end of your post.Was it you feel guilty for stopping someone from succeeding or just the others success seems to make you feel unsuccessful.

And what things do you let others do for you that you could have done yourself?

I hope you will keep sharing and hopefully find a way out from your situation.

[N0help4u]

Nothing like that is permanent. As long as you recognize something about yourself you can work to change it.
They say the first step to correcting a fault or problem is to recognize it.
You are two steps ahead because YOU figured YOUR own problem out on your own.
It is people who are in denial that are stuck in a permanent state.

What you need to do is take one day at a time and work on that days problems.
If you know in advance you are going to have a problem you don't know how to handle another day ask your concerns here.
Do things to motivate yourself.
Think what your ultimate goals are and make a plan on achieving them.
Read books by successful guys and what they learned in life.
Like Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Try to visualize yourself getting ahead.

When I was in 6th grade I thought how will I make it in 7th?
7th grade came along and I managed but worried that 8th grade would be too hard.
In 8th grade I thought this is it 9th grade has got to be impossible, what am I going to do?
I eventually found that life is challenges and challenges can be fun if you look at them in a positive way
Meet the challenges and life will get interesting.
People who are afraid of challenge end up in boring ruts

[seenbutnotheard]

I guess I am just trying to get my mind to do something for me other than vegetate. I don't know my imagination is stale and my creativity is non-existent. Thinking makes me very irritated and it gives me really bad headaches. I just don't understand. I hate the things I could possibly do well, though they are things that don't involve creating anything just reproducing it such as playing music or running. I just wonder am I supposed to go around my whole life wondering what I'm supposed to do or will I find it because if it doesn't happen soon time is going to fly by way too fast. I have the problem of being lazy I suppose as well, I won't... I can't get myself to learn to do something from scratch. I have tried very hard to learn a skill that might help me express myself but they all end up annoying the hell out of me to the point where it physically hurts to go on and I quit. I now hold the belief if you don't show a certain talent for something when you try it at first its not worth trying and your doomed to failure. I break this belief all of the time, in hopes that I might be wrong. I also seem to be cursed with a perfectionist mind set, I cannot do something that ends up not turning out the way I want it and being the best at it doing it perfect. It really hurts me when I fail at something I try so hard at, and up to this day over the millions of things I've tried I have never been able to go and do something and do it perfect and come away happy. It's even worse when I have an assignment that I must do and I can't do it up to my expectations that my whole attitude changes from doing my best to doing my worst and just getting it over with. I'm stuck, I don't know what to do and I can't help but think will I ever.

I evaluate my person constantly I try to make the changes necessary to become more refined and have success through hard work. I also know most of my failures are do to the fact that I quit before I have time to learn what it takes to make it the way I want it. I realize that most great people today have started with nothing and worked hard and after along time came to meet their goal. It's just that not doing everything right 100% when I look back on my life makes me sad because everything I did wasn't up to my expectations and I mean EVERYTHING.

I'm starting to go in circles now but I must say one more last thing, how am I supposed to deal with this. It makes me feel really really bad and embarrassed when I ask for help, I can't let anyone know that I'm not who I say I am, who I want to be. I have to live with my past failures now and its like an anchor that prevents me from going further and when I try to get away the weight get heavier. It's like a video game, maybe that's my problem because no matter what video game I play. I save the game and I go back and I keep replaying the same scene over and over until I get it perfect and then when I get done with the game as a whole I can say that I did it perfect up to my expectations and I'm happy, then I play it again to do it perfect all in one go. Life isn't a video game and I probably expect it to be. However none of this changes the fact that I can't change what I think and it's driving me crazy that my mind is in a grid lock.

[Wondergirl]

It sounds more like you're a perfectionist and are afraid of failure--or more likely, afraid of success (since you can't accept that you've done something well and correctly, but must try yet again).

What happens inside you when you succeed at something?

Btw, you are an excellent writer.

[seenbutnotheard]

When I succeed at something, I don't feel worse I don't feel better. I feel like I just wasted my time because it's not making me any money and no one else knows about it.

[Wondergirl]

It's important that you make money when you do something well?

It's important that you receive a pat on the back when you do something well?

[simoneaugie]

Well after careful studying, I have diagnosed myself as having "permanent Learned helplessness" how do you treat this. It's not just some fantasy world I live in, and you have no idea everything I ever do is controlled, when I do things, how I do them, where and why. I get about 3 hours a day to do things I want to do but someone always seems to find something for me. I grown accustomed to it and I never question it anymore if fact I enjoy it and I can't take the pressure of making decisions for myself any more.

Which raises the question why am I writing this, maybe because im getting to the point where I'm going to have to take care of myself as I'm graduating this year and I realize that and I don't want things to change? I don't think thats it though, but what ever you guys say don't mention prescription pills or seeing a psychologist i would rather kill myself. I don't even know why I'm posting this I probably won't listen to your answers. I don't care anymore. I guess I have one more thing to add, everyday I hear success stories of people and stuff, I see successful people, and it weighs down on me. Where someone else succeeds I have failed in preventing them from reaching their goal and thus in turn not succeeding, and it just seems like everything. I'm gonna shut up now.

Learned helplessness. It has to have a benefit somehow, or you wouldn't do it. Maybe in your ubringing it was taught but now that you're grown it no longer serves? Who and how would you like to be? Go for it!

Your last paraghraph made sense to me, I've been there. Just don't stay there, please. You have choices. They are all around, waiting for you to take them. Just because it seems scary doesn't mean you can't get what you need.

[seenbutnotheard]

I don't know what to think any more. I can't define who I am, I can't point out any positive qualities or any qualities for that matter about myself. I highly doubt anyone who has met me can either. My mind is at war and my thoughts become more incoherent with each passing day. I find myself moving away from those around me because my futile attempts at communication with anyone leaves me disabled and I usually end up saying something stupid and/or hurting someone and then everyone tells me they don't want me around. I wouldn't pay any mind to it but it happens 100% of the time even on online social networks. I used to play a lot of video games online competitively with teams. Everyone usually hates me within about 3 to 4 months and I get kicked out. I have never once in my life had a decent conversation with any living person as of yet, and due to my non-existent social skills I think it will stay that way. I cannot find any valid reason for my existence nor do I hold the capability to desire one. I don't desire to live, and don't desire to die nor would I harm myself if I did. I know I could do something with my life but I can't muster the strength to do anything, maybe I'm too comfortable with the way I am that I refuse to change. If you were to understand me at all (I don't even understand me?) then you would have to know my whole life and I'm pretty sure everyone would quit listening because it so boring. Life is like a book and I would give anything to skip to the last few pages to see what happens because right now that's all I'm waiting for. I would give my life to know how my life ends then to go back and start over. Maybe I'm disgusted with the total lack of mystery and wonder that life has to offer, everything just feels so fake and worthless.

Simoneaugie you asked "Who and how would you like to be? Go for it!". I don't want to be anyone I want to be me, I want to be the definition of original I want to discover something new not relating to anything anyone has ever dreamed of... I want to be god. I want to be the very fiber of everything that is unique in itself, I want to taste something no one else has ever tasted, I want to bring upon myself something no one else can have. Though it's a sad fact... I can't, and neither can anyone else and due to this limitation of life I just can't seem to find much else for me to do I won't settle for anything less. I suppose I could try but then I would just end up like Hitler or Jesus or Alexander or Xerxes. I don't know what to do.

[firmbeliever]

Even if you say your social skills are lacking I must say your writing is quite good.

Simoneaugie you asked "Who and how would you like to be? Go for it!". I don't want to be anyone I want to be me, I want to be the definition of original I want to discover something new not relating to anything anyone has ever dreamed of..... I want to be god. I want to be the very fiber of everything that is unique in itself, I want to taste something no one else has ever tasted, I want to bring upon myself something no one else can have. Though it's a sad fact... I can't, and neither can anyone else and due to this limitation of life I just can't seem to find much else for me to do I won't settle for anything less. I suppose I could try but then I would just end up like Hitler or Jesus or Alexander or Xerxes. I don't know what to do.

I am not sure if you have noticed,but each of us are unique!
You and me and each member of this forum,each one is unique in the way we perceive things.The way we see the world and each other,the way we interact,the way we enjoy things... all of us are unique.

You are original in your own thoughts,as I am in mine.

I may not be able to discover something new in this world or built something no one has ever thought of , I know my limits.
But then, that does not mean that I cannot be creative, build,colour,paint, and create my own arts.The limits does not mean that I go into a swimming pool which was designed,built by someone else and not enjoy it.
Lie on the beach and relax just because I did not create the whole scene with the sounds and the waves and the breeze.I do not need to create the whole world to enjoy the things I find in them.

Maybe you need to let go of being trying to be perfect or to be the best and enjoy just being you, with the good in you along with the bad.No human is perfect

[simoneaugie]

I believe your troubles are spiritual. I did not say religious! You are struggling with the ultimate reality/duality of our existence. That is, we are both mediocre and divinely perfect at the same time. Read the series Conversations With God. It will give you insight. Don't be frightened about the word in the title that starts with G because it isn't about that. If that seems too much, watch a Deepak Chopra video. He talks about the same concept and makes a lot of sense.

[seenbutnotheard]

Ive grown up in a Mennonite Christian school my whole life, I grew up in a very Christian centered community. I know you do not mean to convert me to anything and do not wish to persuade my thoughts towards a deity. I cannot say for cretin whether there is "a" god for not and I never will. However from all that I know about the Christianity and Islam that I have studied, I refuse to believe man exists to serve God, I will never serve a God just for creating me and I will never throw myself at it's feet so that I can feel like I've done something right in my life.

On the other hand this leaves something to be desired in life, if not God then what? There must be something more than people killing each other, or wasting away making new technologies to solve problems that we made in the first place. See I take a look at things for the long term, most people look at it for the short term, I look 50 years down the road instead of 5. I compare the lives of elderly at the age of 50-60, what are they doing, sitting in a rest home wasting away, they are all used up and have nothing left to accomplish in life they sit and watch TV all day eat food and have to deal with disease and suffering then they die. I then look at the prime years of their life 30-50. What do they do, from CEO's to high school janitors they all do the same thing, they work and play this stupid game called life. Seriously, I don't understand how people find this amusing, running around solving problems from bankruptcy to the water fountain over flowing, and I can't help but realize how primal it all really is. Everything is all connected big and small without the janitors of the world the CEO's wouldn't have a job no matter how creative and brilliant they are. Everyone wants to be on the same level and this will never work because there is always guy with the job making nothing and the guy with the luxurious mansion that makes millions and then you throw in a little ethnicity and everything becomes a little more complicated and then gender and it just becomes a little more complicated but it all follows the same rules of life.

People keep saying life is what you make of it, I find this hardly to be true. Life is what other people make of it, Everyone bases there opinions on the opinions of others and its just a big huge circle. Everyone is always asking for advice always falling in love always taking sides. It makes me sick the way society works, everyone follows even the leaders. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I don't know what point I'm trying to make, I think what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to play the game of life, I want to be above it. I think the problem is I just suck at the game of life, I try and jump in but every time I do I get thrown out by those around me because I bring them down with me.

I haven't even been planing for my future, I've been accepted to two major universities in Arizona, neither of them I want to go to anymore. Maybe life is too easy for me and I need to see what its like to actually work to get by. I think if it came down to that I would break down and fail, I don't think I can handle the pressure of playing the stupid game because I know what's going to happen and I know what I need to do to change each aspect of it. That might be another problem the fact that I know what's going to happen in any given situation, by the way other people react, and the amount of effort I put into it, who I'm dealing with and why.

____________________________

Everything above is my though process, I wrote it down and I thought of it. I didn't edit out
Sentences and something's may be a little incoherent. Over the course of a day I could probably fill a textbook with thoughts like this and it wouldn't mean anything I just say the same thing over and over in different ways. I'm so sick of thinking like this and I don't want to change I feel like I have a sense of understanding that no one else can comprehend. However, like you my thoughts and actions no matter how well meaning they are, are flawed and at the end of the day they amount to nothing.