[lexielexs]

I really need advice from someone its like I'm always the one 2 give the advice but no one cane help me I have 2 problems.
Family... well the thing is me and my dad aren't speaking but its been my choice though only because I'm so upset with him... I wote him a letter telling him how I feel about everything and he wrote me back telling me that (my parents are going through a divorce) I shouldn't be mad at him for something's and that I only come up at see him for the money and when he said that it hurt me a lot at first because I couldn't believe that he thought me my brother and sister have a realationship with him because of his money but then he say that not in these words but that I've been selffish and inconsiderate that also made me upset so I decided 2 send my brother a text 2 tell my dad that I don't want him 2 but me anything every again since I am so much trouble I'm not sure what by brother told my dad and another thing was that I shouldn't dislike his g/f just because but it hadn't only been a few months before he had a girlfriend but he claims she a friend when me my brother and my sister know that that its his girlfriend but anyway the thing is he called me and left a message saying that we need to talk but I don't know what 2 do I'm scared because I don't even know what to say I'm just so nerves:( what should I do and my mother and sister are even going through the same thing
I also have a question about my friends but that will have to be later because its long

[charlotte234s]

My father is the same way, he claims that I'm selfish and rude because I don't respect him or love him because of the way he behaves and the things he's done. He treats me poorly and then when I react in a not-positive way, he tells me that I only bother with him for money, which is not true.

Tell him that you don't care about the money and that you wish he would stop making you feel bad about things that are not your fault. He is the parent and his problems should never come before yours, that's selfish and inconsiderate. If you want to repair your relationship, I wouldn't bother trying to argue with him though, as people are set in their ways and won't change their mind about things even if they are wrong unless they decide they want to, and we can't make them change their minds.


I suggest telling him that you will talk to him but if he becomes rude or mean that you don't need to deal with that and you will not talk to him anymore.

I know it's hard, I've been there. People can only change themselves, though, so don't blame yourself for other people's actions.

[caralyn151]

I can relate as well, I wrote my father a letter saying that if he kept drinking sherry he might as well demote me as a daughter. He kept drinking. He insults me, verbally abuses me, and my mum says that he loves me deep down. Some men don't know how to show how they feel, only through hateful words do they express themselves.

I agree that you should talk to him but when he starts to back talk just tell him, 'I tried to talk with you but obviously you don't think I'm worth the effort.' My father always blames me for my choices and when ever I comment on his he's always down on me. I'm happy with my choices, and he's not happy with his.

[charlotte234s]

Agreed, my father is an alcoholic and abusive both physically and verbally and as much as I try to talk to him, he only believes he is right, he revises history to make me seem out of control, which is ridiculous because at the time I was too young to even have to deal with some of the issues he caused. I can't tell you exactly what to do, but you can't force him to change and if he won't talk to you frankly without manipulating or trying to argue, all you can do is walk away and hope he thinks about things.