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chris28 · Oct 2, 2007, 02:38 AM

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

I'm so glad you found something to help you!! Good job!! I am so happy you are feeling better!

Got to try everything don't want to fall life is good

chris28 · Oct 2, 2007, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by nauticalstar420

Well good luck, I hope you make lots of new friends.

Just stay on the right track and you will start to feel better soon. :)

Hey another day gone and I'm still here wooppie had a few difficult hours but I got thhrouhhg them talking on the phone for hours jeez thank got lol

nauticalstar420 · Oct 2, 2007, 09:09 PM

You seem like you are coming along just fine! Keep it up! Soon you will be better 100%! :)

chris28 · Oct 2, 2007, 10:13 PM

Yes I agreee I feel beter still more to go its back and for with sad bouts but not all day long at least

chris28 · Oct 3, 2007, 05:16 AM

I peeps today makes a week me and my ex are broke up. IM a 28 male and have posted a lot before this about my situation. Monday she texted me about her thhing so I dropped them all off at her friends house. Im going through highs and lows. Today as in the las week I woke up 2 hours before I had to and felt like crap I started crying and stopped a few times. Last few days was like a rollercoaster but I still did the NC thing . Are these feelings normal crying and all week later just thinking about her?? Is she thinking and feeling like me or am I a big baby

smoothy · Oct 3, 2007, 05:25 AM

She is the arrogant high maintenance type that thinks she's gods gift to man...

Rule #1. Avoid women who expect you to buy their love. Hookers are cheaper.

Rule #2. Only date women who aren't obsessed by money, trust me there are plenty of them. Unless you are happy being their sugar daddy for now avoid them.

I know the type, none of them are worth your time OR money. Like I said, if you need to buy someone's love get an Escort. They are cheaper and at least you know what you are getting and when.

Work on finding new friends. Its not really hard.

ConfusedandLost · Oct 3, 2007, 07:37 AM

It sounds like you need to get involved in some activities to get your mind off her... that will certainly help. Get way involved into something...

GlindaofOz · Oct 3, 2007, 07:46 AM

Its totally normal. You will go through this quite a bit over the next month or two. Like ConfusedandLost said throw yourself into activities and other stuff so that way your focus isn't on her so much. Its hard I know. Your focus has been on this girl for your whole relationship so its just learning how to be on your own again which takes time.

chris28 · Oct 3, 2007, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Its totally normal. you will go through this quite a bit over the next month or two. Like ConfusedandLost said throw yourself into activities and other stuff so that way your focus isn't on her so much. Its hard I know. Your focus has been on this girl for your whole relationship so its just learning how to be on your own again which takes time.

Okie good I think its even harder cause I have the feeling she's not hurting the same way.

chris28 · Oct 3, 2007, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

Okie good i think its even harder cause i have the feeling shes not hurting the same way.

Now I don't want to sound crewl or mean but I gave my all I guess it wasn't good enough but I no it was only 30% my fault it didn't work. Now its getting back out there looking for new friends hey anyone from here live around brooklyn ny??

chris28 · Oct 3, 2007, 08:41 AM

Your right its just so hard to know that someone who loves you could just not be happy cause you coudnt buy them or take them out to certain places... why is love so hard

smoothy · Oct 3, 2007, 09:34 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

ur right its just so hard to know that someone who loves u could just not be happy cause u coudnt buy them or take them out to certain places.......... why is luv so hard

I know women that date guys just so they can get stuff... trust me... they aren't hard to spot. Love isn't hard to find if you aren't giving the wrong signals.

GlindaofOz · Oct 3, 2007, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

Okie good i think its even harder cause i have the feeling shes not hurting the same way.

That's normal. One person is always hurting more then the other and the person who hurts WANTS the other person to hurt just as bad if not worse.

chris28 · Oct 4, 2007, 06:51 AM

Okie all so today is day 8 that me and my ex are broken up, and the mornings when I wake up usually suck the most. My whole trip to work is sad. I think about what we did and what we won't be doing anymore. I still have held out on calling and texting we only made contact one time when she contacted me for her stuff this Monday. I just feel week today I just got to work and I do feel a bit better but the loneliness is there I feel somewhat empty and I can't get her out of my head today she's probably going to her aunts house for a holiday and there is her single cousin who just broke up as well and she has been dating so of course my crazy imagionation tells me she's going to sleep there hang out and go look for men with her cousin. I understand this shoudnt bother me but I can help the thoughts I can so far fighht the urge for contact by keeping buisy but I can't stand being alone and its kind of hard to stay with people 24/7 escpecially when I live alone... tips adviceeeee?? Anyone here from the ny area??

chris28 · Oct 4, 2007, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Thats normal. One person is always hurting more then the other and the person who hurts WANTS the other person to hurt just as bad if not worse.

Why does it have to be me!! 1 everyone says she's is going to regret this and soon give in and call I think that's just giving me false hope even her friends mom I called her yesterday and she told me I think she's going to miss you in a few days and call you and telling me how that will not be the right thing... hard times!!

GlindaofOz · Oct 4, 2007, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by chris28

why does it have to be me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 everyone sayz shes is going to regret this and soon give in and call i think thats just giving me false hope even her friends mom i called her yesterday and she told me i think shes going to miss u in a few days and call u and telling me how that will not be the right thing.............hard times!!!!

Put an end to that. Tell everyone that you appreciate it but no more speaking about her you need to move on with your life and if everyone keeps talking about her and how she will come back you will stay stuck.

Sure she might regret it and come back but chances are that it will happen AFTER you've already moved on.

chris28 · Oct 4, 2007, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Put an end to that. Tell everyone that you appreciate it but no more speaking about her you need to move on with your life and if everyone keeps talking about her and how she will come back you will stay stuck.

Sure she might regret it and come back but chances are that it will happen AFTER you've already moved on.

I no your right in my heart of hearts I feel the same thing that when she relizes what I did for her and what I was willing to do she will see what I was all about. And unfortantly I think it will take her being with anopther guy to see that and that's what really sucks :( but that's the way it might have to be

GlindaofOz · Oct 4, 2007, 09:05 AM

But you know what Chris - you aren't living your life for HER you live your life for YOU.

If she thinks she made a mistake 6 months from now chances are you will be on with your life and happy without her.

Ever seen the movie Swingers? I swear it should be required viewing for guys post breakup. It's the way the universe works that the ex doesn't come back until you are totally over them and moved on.

Honestly would you really want her back? She walked away from you and for what? When someone is willing to walk away let 'em.

needofhelp · Oct 4, 2007, 09:19 AM

I know how you feel. I'm going through that myself, and almost the same time frame. It's hard to see her moving on, doing her own things, while your world has stopped. BUT remember that time doesn't stop for anyone, even though it seems like it has stopped for you. This is going to be easier said than done, our mind can only carry 1 thought at a time, so try to think of something else vividly and that might help preoccupy your mind. It's normal to replay everything, I'm stuck on repeat as well. It's a greiving process, and find some solice that you are not the only one to experience this. Keep your head up.

ConfusedandLost · Oct 4, 2007, 09:29 AM

Find something that you always wanted to do and dive right in head first. I went through and still am going through the same about 3 months ago. For example I am learning to play the guitar, became a volunteer fireman, I hang out with my friends and co-workers a lot etc... You just have to eliminate thoughts of what could have been, what is she up to, why did she do what she did, etc. I will slowly destroy you and you will become a person that no one wants to be around and not even know it. Remember life is totally in YOUR control, if you want to be happy you can be... if you want to be sad you will be.

Time heals everything, you have to let go and accept that it is over. That is half of the battle. You will get through it... we all do. If your in the Albany area let me know :)