[fd390]

A friend of mine who is 19 met a guy on a summer retreat. One week after she arrived she met a 27 year old guy. 2-3 weeks later they were engaged, ring and everything. Apparently one late night the guy told her he really liked her and she told the guy when she was drunk & very tired that they should get married. The next day they were out looking at rings. The guy is from the midwest and the girl is from the east coast. When the retreat was over the guy came back to the girls parents house with her. She works at a grocery store as a cashier and he now works at the same store in the deli. He has not returned to his home & he does not have a car. She does not have a drivers license. They get around by using on of her parent's cars. They have no money between the two of them and want to get an apartment and pushed the wedding date back 3 months already from the original date. The date is now set one year after they met. She wants to move out of her parents house and she has been saying this for over a year now. Her parents are pushing her to get married. Her friends are telling her not to. What are your thoughts?

[nauticalstar420]

I definitely think they should have their lives and their finances in order before they get married. It sounds to me like they are planning to get married just to be able to tell people "we're married". If they really do love each other, its not like either of them are going anywhere, so they should be able to wait until things are in order before getting married.

[Talyomaly]

This is just my personal thought, but I would seriously her not marrying him, at least not just yet. Get to know him more, go to him home town and do a background check on him (family, friends, education, ex's, etc.) If she refuses to do so or just doesn't see it as being relevant then maybe her friends should do this, after all, true friends are there for your safety! Well good luck!

[RubyPitbull]

Sorry for weighing in so late. I think it is nobody's business but hers. No matter what anyone says or advises, she is going to do what she wants to do. Do you really think that she is going to listen to the advice of some random people on an internet site? I don't. I think it is nice you are worrying about your friend. You have a good heart. But, you can probably talk until you are blue in the face, she appears to have made up her mind. If she has pushed the marriage off for a year, and is asking you for advice as to whether this is a good idea or not, I suspect the relationship will fall apart before her wedding day. Just be her friend, listen to her, "yes" her to death, and be supportive of whatever she decides to do.

[s_cianci]

I agree that they should get their finances in order and get to know more about each other before getting married. It sounds like they've made some rash decisions without really thinking through the long-term consequences.