[tonyfan74]

I am in love with a married man, and he is in love with me. We had an "affair" about 4 years ago and then I ended it. Recently we re-connected and he told me he never stopped loving me and hasn't felt this way about someone before, including his wife. I, too, never stopped loving him. I know it's wrong, but I have always been told to follow my heart. I told him to stop loving me because it's useless to love someone if you can not do anything about it and he told me he wants to do something. What do I do? :confused:

[Allheart]

Hi Tony,

What do you do? Put yourself in his wife shoes. Can you imagine her heartache and if you continue this way, pretty soon, his wife's shoes will be your shoes, and more than likely he will do the same to you and it will be a very painful fit.

This may not be what you want to hear, and I promise you I do not judge at all. Just trying to save you, his wife and everyone involved (that includes the entire family) a lot of heartache.

Someone once said, it may have been Dr. Phil, that there is one thing that you and this married man know about each other, and that is, you both can not be trusted. Boy, that sure must not feel to good.

You did the right thing by walking away the first time, find it in you to do it once again.

The heartache this situtation causes can never lead to happiness.

I do wish you the best. ( I think before you even posted this question, you knew the answer, just needed to talk about it and have the right thing confirmed. This is a very good place to do just that.)

[rol]

Well if he wants to do something wait until he does something.

But most likely talking about wanting to do something is all he's going to do.

[talaniman]

Where I realize you can't help who you fall in love with. You can help who you take to bed and have sex with. You can recognise that a married man is off limits and when married people cheat on their spouses it tears families apart. You can recognise he has a life and a booty call ,that's you. You can recognise That no matter what he says he is going home to his wife and he will see you later. You know by now that the list goes on and on. The bottom line is you cannot use love as an excuse to do wrong. That simple. So follow your heart to hell if you cannot make a simple decision to tell a lying cheating no caring SOB to get out of your life and find a person for yourself. Follow your heart, yeah that's what they say when they are dumb as a box of rocks and can't think for themselves.

[Wildcat21]

Wow! This guy is good! He must be an actor!!

Do not speak another word with this man UNTIL the divorce papers ar signed and he has moved out!!

Hello??

He lied and cheated before... he'll do it again!

Oh yeah... of course he doesn't love his wife - as long as you will sleep with him.

He cheated on her - he'll cheat on YOU!! Hello??

This is not much of a man - FIND A TRUSTING Available MAN.

Work on that LOW self esteem as well. Go to the gym. Forget about this guy. He is pretty much scum!!

Notice he did not leave his wife 4 years ago??

[s_cianci]

Stay away from him. He's married. Find yourself a single, available man.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is easy, tell him that you and he can go tell his wife right now, that he is leaving her for you. That is love, love is wanting to be with that person all the time forever.

IN heat and wanting sex is telling the girl anything he thinks she will believe to get into bed with her.

[kanicky73]

Everyone made all good points here, most importantly he didn't leave his wife four years ago and probably has no plans of leaving her now! He knew you cheated with him before and would probably do it again. He gets to have his cake and eat it to! If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, its "once a cheater, always a cheater". And the more they get away with it, the more they do it. Find yourself an available man! There are plenty out there.

[shygrneyzs]

I love Fr. Chuck's answer - BOTH you and this "wonderful" guy go to his wife and explain your mutual love that has transcended the past four years. I am sure his wife will be understanding.

You walked away once, please turn your feet away from this guy and do it again. Quit pining for him - if he really never loved anyone like he says he loves you - he would have come to you, SINGLE and fully ready to be your full partner, not just your sex buddy.

When you say "follow your heart" you are really saying "follow your chemistry". This time make it "follow your conscience". If you did not know what was right, you would not have written to this forum. You just wanted some acceptance for your actions and possible further actions. I would like to know who this guy was seeing in the four years he was not seeing you! Bet it wasn't just his wife.