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girl111 · Aug 17, 2007, 05:30 PM

My best friend is mad at me, she thinks I am brainwashing her boyfriend into not liking her anymore just because me and him talk and we hang out, she made him choose between her and myself of course he chose her, the next night they broke up because she was to controlling, they got back together the next night but he told her the only way it would work was if he was allowed to be friends with me, so now we are allowed to talk but not hang out, she blames everything that has happened between them on me like its all my fault when really its just hers, I am not a little kid anymore I am done with this kind of drama... but there is a catch I have been friends with her for 2 years and I have been friends with him for 7 years, is it right that she is mad at me for this when I am the one who introduced them together in the first place? :confused:

shayloveantwan · Aug 27, 2007, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by girl111

My best friend is mad at me, she thinks i am brainwashing her boyfriend into not liking her anymore just because me and him talk and we hang out, she made him choose between her and myself of course he chose her, the next night they broke up because she was to controlling, they got back together the next night but he told her the only way it would work was if he was allowed to be friends with me, so now we are allowed to talk but not hang out, she blames everything that has happened between them on me like its all my fault when really its just hers, i am not a little kid anymore i am done with this kind of drama......but there is a catch i have been friends with her for 2 years and i have been friends with him for 7 years, is it right that she is mad at me for this when i am the one who introduced them together in the first place? :confused:

Yes she is right to be mad, even though you did introduced them. When you introduced him that was saying here is good person for you. From a friend to a friend. Now you should stay his friend, but realize now he's with someone and theirs certain things and conversations you are to have. Maybe instead of friends you should have been more. SO yea she is right, but maybe you can all hang out togather double date or something.

Dennis777 · Aug 27, 2007, 03:18 PM

Hello.

Welcome to the real world of Dating... One of the first rules is never date anyone your best friend knows, cares for or has been with in the past. It will come back and get you every time. What's going to happen now is a coin toss but someone will get hurt no matter what.

If you have 2 years with her and she has proven she is willing to hurt you to make herself happy (making him stop talking to you) and you have 7 years with him as great friends (just watch out it sounds like he might want to be more then friends) I would say both of you dump her and move on with your lives. DO NOT hook him up with another friend of yours.

Dennis777

Homegirl 50 · Aug 27, 2007, 10:38 PM

This guy must be really feeling full of himself about now. He's got two girls acting silly over him. If he is really into his girl friend, he would not do things that upset her, like spending time with another girl. This maybe why she is so upset.
If she is your friend, you're not helping matters by spending time with her boy friend. Why are you hanging out with him any way? Get a boy friend yourself and then you won't be spending so much time with her's

All three of you need to grow up.

lacuran8626 · Aug 28, 2007, 01:20 PM

It's hard to stay friends with someone of the opposite sex once they are in a serious relationship, and you might as well accept that it will never be comfortable as it used to be. Arrange to see both of them together, and if you can, include a date for yourself. STay friendly with both of them, but don't participate in any kind of time with him that would be upsetting to her. If the relationship ends, you will still have two friendships. Do not discuss them with each other, either.

She apparely sees you as a rival. Be honest about whether that is valid or not.

girl111 · Aug 28, 2007, 01:48 PM

Why am I hanging out with him cause he is my best friend, your answers are not even close to being right I figured this out on my own. I do have a boyfriend of my own by the way and it is his best friend. So that could be a reason of why we hang out. But it don't matter I told them both to have fun with each other and to stay out of my life cause they are just causing drama and I don't want it. She has no right to be mad at me at all cause Its not like I want him as my boyfriend. He was just a friend. But not anymore.

GlindaofOz · Aug 28, 2007, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by girl111

why am i hanging out with him cause he is my best friend, your answers are not even close to being right i figured this out on my own. I do have a boyfriend of my own by the way and it is his best friend. So that could be a reason of why we hang out. But it dont matter i told them both to have fun with each other and to stay out of my life cause they are just causing drama and i dont want it. She has no right to be mad at me at all cause Its not like i want him as my boyfriend. He was just a friend. But not anymore.

I think you ultimately made the right decision. I was going to suggest that you just back off the two of them for a while. Maybe when they break up you can re start your friendship with this boy since you were friends for so long.

Girlfriends tend to be jealous of close female friends of their boyfriends. I had a good friend who had a brother/sister close friendship with this boy whenever he got a girlfriend she knew she had to disappear. They would still talk on the phone and maybe see each other every now and again but it was much lighter then when they were single. Its unfortunate that some girls can be so insecure that they deny the person they love a close friend.

s_cianci · Aug 28, 2007, 02:32 PM

Your "best friend" has a lot of issues, none of which are your fault. I'd continue being as friendly with this guy as you want, whether she likes it or not. If she doesn't, it's her problem, not yours. When in his presence, don't talk or gossip about her in any way. If he starts to talk about her, change the subject.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 28, 2007, 05:04 PM

If this young lady is your friend, I would not do anything to antagonize their relationship. Just think if it was you and your boy friend and another girl was taking up a lot of his time. I don't know who is right or wrong, but try and try to understand what she may be feeling.