Check out some similar questions!

michaelbunky · Aug 21, 2007, 08:18 AM

28 years I've been married.the last 10 years we have slept in different bedrooms and
Not with each other.seems that if we go our separate ways we may miss each other
But not the love we don't have.we are together for the kids and I don't know if there's
Enough love in that to hold us together.I don't smoke,drink,cheat,in fact she's the only
Person I ever had sex with in my life.we pretend everythings OK,but it's not.
I own a small business and have given a lot to my children and still am.
I'm afraid to ask my wife if she really loves me ,then why are we in separate beds?
Is counseling the awnser ?does it work if the love is gone?
We have a lack of communication,I realise that but I need some suggestions.
If I leave I have a lot to give up.but I need love in my life.this might sound like a minor
Problem compared to some others,but I would like your awnsers.thank you.

christy9800 · Aug 21, 2007, 08:26 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Especially since you've been married for a long time. If I were you, I would ask her if she stills loves you. Maybe she's wondering the same thing out of you. And I understand the 'kids' situation, but don't you think that they feel the tension between the two of you? Counseling wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Good Luck to you and I hope everything works out. Have you asked yourself if you still love her? If so, why don't the 2 of you go on a 'date night'. Have a candle light dinner. Walk along the river. Something romantic. Let me know how everything turns out.

LearningAsIGo · Aug 21, 2007, 12:22 PM

I would speak with her and suggest a marriage counselor.

is counseling the awnser ?does it work if the love is gone?

The love may not be gone, but merely hidden behind a lack of communication. Some couples fall into a lull when they've been together for a long time. It's important to open the doors again and start treating each other like husband/wife. Try reconnecting again over a common interest... kids, favorite hobby, or place to eat...

You could simply start by telling her you MISS HER and you don't want to continue being distant in your marriage.

Good luck to you, I know it can't be easy.

pacermb · Aug 21, 2007, 12:33 PM

I feel that you expect your wife to fix the problem. Why? You have not discussed any of this with her. Ask her out to dinner, etc. and woo her. If she is not interested she will tell you. However, if you love her and would like to have a relationship, take the chance and date her. She just might be waiting for you to show you care. No one knows how she feels except her. No one knows how you feel either. Do you want to have a relationship with her? You said that she doesn't communicate but you have discussed this with us NOT your wife. ASK HER ON A DATE

tpreyer · Aug 27, 2007, 04:51 PM

You have to push and find out why she really doesn't want to sleep with you. Sometimes with women you might not get a clear answer so you have to do thing's to get an answer. Try asking her if she want's a night out on the town with you. Would she like to do different fun or romantic thing's beside sex and if she doesn't want to she might not want to work on the marriage. Ask her if there are thing's you are doing to push her away if she tells you you are stop doing them,or start doing what your not,If she still don't respond then it's not you it's her.
Ask her what is her dream, help her do something she always wanted for herself. Sometimes it's not about you or the kid's. Maybe no one was ever interested in what she wanted.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 30, 2007, 05:36 PM

You two need to talk to each other so that both of you know what the other is feeling. Then you need counseling to help you either get your marriage back on track, or deal with the end of it.
I wsih you well

d9mj8 · Aug 30, 2007, 10:49 PM

I think you need to talk to her and discuss this matter because there is no point of staying in this kind of marriage.. I know its not easy but you got to do something about it.we all make this mistake of being in this kind of marriages for the sake of our kids but do you really think that kids will stick to us all their lives?they will move on and won't realise what you did for them.. so talk ot her and if you don't get positive response move on...