[s_cianci]

Going out to find someone to sleep with in order to "even the score" isn't the answer. You've seen for yourself firsthand the results of being promiscuous at a young age and how it turns a young person into an emotional basket case. I don't think all hope is lost but your girlfriend is going to need some serious counseling if the two of you are going to have a successful relationship and you ought to nudge her in that direction. You've loved her faithfully for two years and she's no doubt ever had that from anyone before. That, coupled with whatever other emotional issues she's struggling with is what led to her promiscuous behavior and what she now needs professional help in dealing with.

[talaniman]

DownLookingUp, Am I the only one that thinks sleeping with your sisters husband is off the chart big?.

It is big and since at the time there where no details available, no comment could be made. You knowing the details must know that she was taken advantage of by a predator.

let alone do it in the very same bedroom her sister sleeps in? I mean a past like that is big and its just one of many big things she has done even though it is not truly about having a past... I don’t care about her past as much as I care being hurt by living the lie and its size for so long...

Do you honestly expect her to come clean to you from the start, without knowing you well enough to completely trust you with her secrets? And while your hurt, don't you think she is also?? I think it took courage and shows how she feels about you to tell you the truth.

if u read carefully talaniman u would have noticed I already knew when we started that there was a guy before me that she was in a relationship and slept with and I never minded that...

I did notice that and all I took from it was that you were okay as long as her past was in line with yours and didn't feel threatened by her experience.

but to find she has been making me wait months to just to be in a relationship with her when she has been sleeping with men back and forth as if its nothing is what hurts my pride...

Your pride should be honored as she thought you were worth more than a roll in the hay or some sexual experiment, your pride only lets you see one side were it is not that simple as your thinking.

it's that some of them men I have to face every now and then and especially her sisters husband when I go to her house and I am supposed to act like nothing happened because I am not supposed to know as no one but her and her sisters husband know about it and it will ruin her relationship with her sister let alone her sisters marriage and her sister has 2 children from that guy... you talk and u judge without reading fully or you would have noticed how much I hate myself because I don’t know how to deal with this...

I have read and acknowledged what you wrote and see your delima quite clearly. But if you cannot get over the emotional selfishness of your position, these things you mention with her family can not be overcome or dealt with rationally, or together..

there are no games here I have given myself heart and soul and she did come with it even though it is late...

It not to late, just got you by surprise and I understand SHOCK!!!

my love for her is still strong but it is hard to deal with big news... and all I have is huge amounts of emotions and feelings and thoughts swirling around in my head...

Recognising your emotional dishevel is a very good thing and putting it out front is the start of dealing with it in a honest productive way.

and this is why I came for help because I can't think right now my mind is clogged by so many thoughts and I need someone impartial who has faced such a thing to give me help and advice on how they dealt with it... I said I don't want to leave her talaniman… and she is such a fragile fragile person… she depends on me so much… and I try and put a strong face on for her I hold her and I tell her all is fine…cuz I know how much it hurts her and she depends on me to be strong and this is why I need to talk about it with you... with anyone who doesn’t know me or her.. I need to get rid of these bad feelings I am having…

Pardon my harshness before, I thought a dose of reality would kick start your real feeling toward her as a counter to all the hurt you feel. The love for each other, is what will get you thru this, and working together for a solution to your problems will bring you closer. Any problem can be solved when you are willing to work together

And all this reminds me I would like to thank emopunk7 and LearningAsIGo your advice has been so so heart warming calming and helpful really thank u so much for your time to read and your very valued help.

We do agree on something .