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TBenner · Aug 14, 2007, 08:18 PM

Im not exactly quite sure what to expect, so just looking for advice not to get bashed.
I am 22 and have a 2.5 year old daughter. Her father and I were never married just together and now weren't and have not been together for 2.5 years. We both live separate lives and both have a significant other. I on the hand am married now and would love to move to my house with my husband that I have in Fl. For as now my daughter and I reside in the state of Michigan where as her father does as well. I am wanting to change the domicile of my daughter to Fl. There are so many positive reasons for us to move I wont sit here and list them but allow you to know my husband is in the military and never.. has to relocate and when he is gone over seas that length of time is only 2 months of the year. As it states in our paper work her father and I share joint legal and pysical custody and week to week basis. I am trying to figure out a decent logical way of doing this. I was thinking I get her for school when she is school age and he gets her for summer and winter .. but what about until then?? What do you think??

Tress

tawnynkids · Aug 14, 2007, 11:45 PM

I hate to burst your bubble but I think it is unlikely you will be able to be allowed to move. If you need the courts permission that is. But since you share joint legal and physical custody I don't know how you would be able to move and not interfere with his current visitation rights. You are going to have to prove how this move won't cause any detriment to the relationship between her and her father. But certainly don't take my word for it, check with a lawyer they would certainly know better based on your specific circumstances.

A visitation schedule for a 2.5 year old in another state would be so, so hard. She will have to spend a lot of time away from dad because of the distance, which the court won't be in favor of. She can't fly alone between the two of you because she is too young. The airlines won't even allow it. Going back and forth in order to spend any quality time with either of you would mean a lot of traveling for her (and accompanying parent) and a lengthy stay away from each parent.

The typical time share for parents in states with a great distance is: school year with one parent and summer with the other parent with alternating holidays (major - Thanksgiving/Christmas/Spring Break).

I personally don't think such a distance is a good move if they have developed a bond. I can TOTALLY understand the desire though. If the bond isn't that strong and he hardly sees her then that would be different. But even with that you are probably looking at, at the very least a couple of weeks at a time with dad to make the travel and time with her dad worth it. But that kind of time away from you could be very hard on her especially if she hasn't spent any real length of time away from you so far. I am sorry I wish I had an easy answer for you. But these are my thoughts.

I hope you find a way to work it all out for everybody.

macksmom · Aug 15, 2007, 07:07 AM

Well do you and your ex have a good relationship? Is this something you guys could talk about? If so, that would be your best bet, as you need his permission to move. If and your ex could could come to some sort of agreement and then present it in court together then there should be no problems, however, if you can't talk to him about it there is really no other way because bottom line he needs to give consent for you to move with the child.