[tomder55]

My posting #30 agrees with Crow that it should be a legal issue as marriage is contractual .

[Synnen]

So... you're saying that lying to your spouse is cheating (transitive)? Or just having sexual relations with someone not your spouse or regular sex partner (intransitive)?

So... having a one night stand would then become illegal? How about not telling your spouse that you were out with that girlfriend that he hates because he'd just give you a hard time about it?

How do you define "sexual relationship"? The flirting that I do with my girlfriends, where we joke about tying up our husbands and making them watch while we wrestle in jello--woudl that be a sexual relationship? I have a relationship with those girls, and that image is obviously sexual--did I just cheat on my husband?

I've said this in other threads, and I'll say it again: CHEATING IS DEFINED BY THE COUPLE. What is okay with one couple is not always okay with another couple. To make laws defining cheating would be as stupid as making laws defining how to make coffee. Everyone likes it a little different, you know.

Making cheating illegal, as Jillian has said, is just stupid. What do you think that's going to do--deter people? It's not like people go into relationships thinking "oh, I'm going to cheat". People make mistakes, and things happen. Should people be sent to jail for not making dinner on their night to cook, too? Or spending more time with the guys than with their wife? Or forgetting to stop at the store for diapers and formula? Those are inconsiderate to the state of marriage too!

Go judge someone else. The apt punishment for a cheater is that their spouse leaves them. If that person declines to "punish" the person, then why should anyone else?

[tomder55]

As I also said in my posting the premise was absurd. Still marriage is a contractual issue and that makes it a legal one. That is why judges are so often involved in the termination. Let couples define cheating ;no problem there .

[Dark_crow]

So...you're saying that lying to your spouse is cheating (transitive)? Or just having sexual relations with someone not your spouse or regular sex partner (intransitive)?

So...having a one night stand would then become illegal? How about not telling your spouse that you were out with that girlfriend that he hates because he'd just give you a hard time about it?

How do you define "sexual relationship"? The flirting that I do with my girlfriends, where we joke about tying up our husbands and making them watch while we wrestle in jello--woudl that be a sexual relationship? I have a relationship with those girls, and that image is obviously sexual--did I just cheat on my husband?

I've said this in other threads, and I'll say it again: CHEATING IS DEFINED BY THE COUPLE. What is okay with one couple is not always okay with another couple. To make laws defining cheating would be as stupid as making laws defining how to make coffee. Everyone likes it a little different, ya know.

Making cheating illegal, as Jillian has said, is just stupid. What do you think that's going to do--deter people? It's not like people go into relationships thinking "oh, I'm going to cheat". People make mistakes, and things happen. Should people be sent to jail for not making dinner on their night to cook, too? Or spending more time with the guys than with their wife? Or forgetting to stop at the store for diapers and formula? Those are inconsiderate to the state of marriage too!

Go judge someone else. The apt punishment for a cheater is that their spouse leaves them. If that person declines to "punish" the person, then why should anyone else?

I am not going to try and convince you that not making it illegal because it would not stop every instance is an illogical argument; just like all laws have been broken that one would too. AS Tom has pointed out, marriage is a legal and binding contract. But then I suppose you are pro -same-sex marriage too.

[nicespringgirl]

that person declines to "punish" the person, then why should anyone else?

That person doesn't decline to punish the person, he/she sends the spouse to the court. Instead of using violence or perfrom irrational activities to punish the cheaters.

U can't avoid divorce, as I mentioned finance difficulties, lack of communications and child education conflicts are also the major issues leading to divorce.

The OP is about " Banning divorce" not "banning not love each other" so sometimes when the love is gone then it's gone, it is still our responsibility to hold as a family, even if they are not as in love as they used to.

Having a one night stand would then become illegal

Yes, it's illegal, and the spouse who caught them can sue them!

[alkalineangel]

Isn't there enough suing in our country already? I mean hell, you can sue over spilling hot coffee on yourself.

I think that to tell people that it is illegal to divorce or to cheat, is taking away their basic human rights. The only reason this is even an issue is because of religious beliefs, and if you ask me we already have enough religion intermixed into government.

Holding onto a family where the love is gone is more detrimental than the divorce. Ask any child of divorce that was of an understanding age when it happened... we need to face the fact that sometimes, people change, and we drift apart, and there is nothing we necessarily did to cause that. Sometimes people put on a face and are more angry 10 years down the road and turn to abuse... no one should be forced to stay in a situation where they are not happy.

[Synnen]

I meant defining a one night stand between two single people, because that would be having sex with someone other than a long standing sexual partner.

Dark--I *am* pro-same-sex marriages, yes. There's so much hate in this world as it is--why stop love from being acknowledged, regardless of who the two people in love are?

Seriously... if you make cheating illegal, and ONE person in the couple thinks that going to a strip club (or, OMG... on the INTERNET) and looking at naked people is cheating, and the other person doesn't think it's cheating unless intercourse is involved--how would you prove it? How would you prosecute it and back it up? How would you possibly define it to fit every circumstance?

If you made cheating illegal (which is different than making divorce illegal), there would be no way to consistently enforce it.

If you made divorce illegal except in certain circumstances (like abuse, cheating, monetary mismanagement, etc), then those people desperate for a divorce will just start accusing their partner of those "crimes", and that will tie up the courts even more than they already are!

Instead... why doesn't everyone just teach their kids morals? Why not take responsibility for your own actions? Why would stopping divorce be such a great idea to begin with? Do you really want to condemn two (or more, if there are kids) people to unhappiness for the rest of their lives? Don't you think that if they can't divorce, they'll just go live separate lives anyway?

[nicespringgirl]

isnt there enough suing in our country already? I mean hell, you can sue over spilling hot coffee on yourself.

I think that to tell people that it is illegal to divorce or to cheat, is taking away their basic human rights. The only reason this is even an issue is because of religious beliefs, and if you ask me we already have enough religion intermixed into government.

Holding onto a family where the love is gone is more detrimental than the divorce. Ask any child of divorce that was of an understanding age when it happened...we need to face the fact that sometimes, people change, and we drift apart, and there is nothing we necessarily did to cause that. Sometimes people put on a face and are more angry 10 years down the road and turn to abuse...no one should be forced to stay in a situation where they are not happy.

Well, each countres are really different,that's not all about religion, the countries I have lived in don't really have a religion issue along with moral. I am just introducing what other countries do to reduce divorce rate since I have spent my life in many other countries.
We learn from each other, no one is always right, learn to listen, and please don't feel offended when new ideas being brought up.

[alkalineangel]

I am under a firm belief that making laws to prohibit things is not the answer... look at drugs, theft, murder, etc.. I agree with synn, if we raise our children correctly, they will go on to choose what is morally right.

If you ask me, and this may sound strange given my continued resitance against government ruling our rights, the best way to handle things, is to make, as someone else stated, it harder to get married and have children. I mean we make everyone in this country take a test before getting into a vehicle to drive, and it is far less important than marriage, or raising children. Synnen has pointed this out in threads before, and I agree with her. It should be a privelage to have children, and a privelage to marry. You must earn the ability to do so by proving you are capable and competent enough to do so... Each religion should handle the marriage one, so as not to cause conflict... It is pushing things, and I doubt it will ever happen, but I mean to ban things all together seems far more unreasonable to me.

[jillianleab]

With that logic we could do away with all laws…right?

Yes, DC, that's exactly what I am suggesting. You got me. I'm an anarchist. :rolleyes:

[nicespringgirl]

we raise our children correctly, they will go on to choose what is morally right.

I hope so. It's a good ideal to study foreign methods of educating your children. I think it will assist you with a great benefit.
It's only a suggestion. Please be open minded.

[alkalineangel]

I try to stay open minded at all times, thanks for the suggestion!

[Emland]

Banning divorce does not a happy marriage make.

Besides, it might have the unfortunate side-effect of increasing homicides.

[Synnen]

Banning divorce does not a happy marriage make.

Besides, it might have the unfortunate side-effect of increasing homicides.

Or suicides.

[NowWhat]

Wow. This topic has heated up. I think you have to look at WHY? In a lot of our "issues". Why is this happening? Or why is that happening? Is there a common denominator? Banning divorce just opens a can of worms. Why is the divorce rate up? What can we do to fix what is apparently breaking?

[Dark_crow]

Wow. This topic has heated up. I think you have to look at WHY? in alot of our "issues". Why is this happening? Or why is that happening? Is there a common denominator? Banning divorce just opens a can of worms. Why is the divorce rate up? What can we do to fix what is apparently breaking?

The breakdown of the traditional family has been a hot topic for years; and I suppose one of the most written about topics there are. So much of it has been couched in religious/moral terms I just thought it about time family break-up was discussed in legal terms.

But I guess a lot like illegal immigration, most people just want to consider the moral and not the legal aspect.

[Synnen]

Oh, I'm with you on the legal side of the immigration issue. I don't want my neighbor to be a criminal whose first act on coming to the country was breaking the law.

The whole thing with the banning of divorce--haven't I been arguing the legal side of it?

The thing is... making divorce illegal isn't going to SOLVE anything. It's Prohibition all over again! I might be more with you if I could see how it would actually fix anything!

[Emland]

The reason marriages stayed together in years past is because the woman had no power and no options. If she got a good guy - that's great. How many other had to stay with abusers or cheats simply because they could not support themselves or their children.

The past may have seem like better times, but I bet there are a lot of women (and children) that suffered greatly.

[Dark_crow]

The reason marriages stayed together in years past is because the woman had no power and no options. If she got a good guy - that's great. How many other had to stay with abusers or cheats simply because they could not support themselves or their children.

The past may have seem like better times, but I bet there are a lot of women (and children) that suffered greatly.

It is difficult to get out of a certain frame of thinking, but consider this. Enforcing the law, “Till death do up part” would certainly deter a man from leaving his wife for another if he had to spend some time in jail. As far as a woman being committed to abuse, there are already laws against that. The focus should be on each person to enter marriage only after giving it the fullest of though and not something decided after a one night stand. Think about what groups have the highest rate of marriage failure.

[jillianleab]

It is difficult to get out of a certain frame of thinking, but consider this. Enforcing the law, “Till death do up part” would certainly deter a man from leaving his wife for another if he had to spend some time in jail. As far as a woman being committed to abuse, there are already laws against that. The focus should be on each person to enter marriage only after giving it the fullest of though and not something decided after a one night stand. Think about what groups have the highest rate of marriage failure.

"Till death do us part" is a part of the vows, which you don't have to recite. Many people write their own vows; so would those people be excluded from your ban? If they said it, couldn't they lie and say they didn't (no video to prove it) to find a loophole? I still don't understand the logic of putting someone who had an affair behind bars; it makes no sense. Our jails and prisons are crowded enough, our courts are bogged down enough, why do we need to start involving something which can be solved personally? Beyond that, I'm with synnen, I still don't know what you think a ban on divorce or criminalizing adultery would fix. Do you honestly blame all of the so-called "moral decay" on divorce and cheating spouses? Seriously??