[rachie]

I had a baby boy in April. He is beautiful and an angel baby. I have a wonderful husband who supports me in every way, and a loving family. I don't understand why I am feeling so depressed. It seems to have gotten worse this month... during the midmornings I will feel like crying for no real reason. I have little or no sexual drive anymore, and I hate the way I look. I use to be athletic and have rock hard abs... I had toxemia during pregnancy and gained 60 pounds (I have lost 30 but 30 more just won't budge). I HATE my stomach. I hate my overall bigger body. I am a martial artist and I have looked forward to going back to class for months... and now I have been back in class, but I am so depressed I don't even want to go anymore. I can't do the workout, I hate feeling huge, NONE of my cloths fit so forget feeling sexy, and I haven't returned to work because I was only a waitress, and I can't afford daycare on the crappy tips. I wanted to return to school so I could become something in life, but then I got pregnant unplanned.
My husbands career is taking off, he is a martial arts teacher, and here I am... I feel like the only thing I am good for is changing diapers.
I love my son. I love my husband.. but I hate myself.
I mentioned that I might have post partum depression, but he and my other family member think that disease is "all in your head" usually. They tell me to exersise, or do something I enjoy. They don't want to see me "become hooked on psych meds" . So I haven't gone to see a doctor because I dot want to be all medicated just to feel like myself again.
Does anyone have any advice?

[rankrank55]

No, postpartum depression is REAL! It would be best for you to see your doctor. My older sister experienced this after the birth of her first child and seeing the doctor really changed her life. Check out these websites!
Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Support International (PSI)

[alkalineangel]

Post-partem depression is real. My sister in law went from 105 lbs with her first child to 185 lbs afterwards due to toxemia. She suffered from depression. They gave her a low dose of something and she was fine in a few months. Your hormones are raging, and you are tired, I'm sure... it all plays. Go see a doctor... it can get very bad.

[macksmom]

When I had my daughter (now 5) I went through a lot of the things you are going through now...
I was always small, and athletic... all star in track n field and soccer... never had to diet etc. When I got pregnant I gained almost 70lbs... but in my case I didn't have any disorder during my pregnancy... I was used to being small all the time and I thought pregnancy was my once excuse to be big... my daughter only weighed 6lbs 7oz... I still (5 years later) am about 30lbs heavier than what I was when I got pregnant, so I know the feelings of nothing fitting etc. But with your continued interest in marital arts... you will lose the weight I'm sure... it just may take awhile, keep in mind some women's metabolism goes down after having a child.

I was HORRIBLY depressed after I gave birth... I would just hold her in my arms and cry with her. I would get frustrated and angry and the littlest things. I didn't have motivation to do anything, I thought I was worthless, and a bad mother. My mom suggested I call my doctor... I did and they put me on Zoloft. A very small dose, but enough to help with my depression. Once I became used to motherhood, and didn't feel so overwhelmed I was able to stop the medication.

I would suggest you talk to your doctor... it certainly doesn't help when family is telling you its all in your head... it surely doesn't make what you are feeling get any better.

Trust me, this is a normal thing that many many mothers go through. :)

Hang in there!

[J_9]

Rachie, I have been there and done that twice. I'll try to be of some help, but bear with me this could get long.

i had a baby boy in april. he is beautiful and an angel baby. i have a wonderful husband who supports me in every way, and a loving family.

First let me congratulate you!! You really are a lucky woman.

i dont understand why i am feeling so depressed. it seems to have gotten worse this month....during the midmornings i will feel like crying for no real reason.

How long after the birth did you begin to feel like this? Usually post-partum depression starts about 30 days after delivery, but can start later, say 3 or 4 months later.

i have little or no sexual drive anymore,

Do you have the energy for a sexual drive? I should think not. This is a very common complaint among women after having a child. You are lucky if hubby gets up with you at night for feedings etc, I am sure you are tired. And to be sexy you have to feel sexy, to feel sexy you really need some energy.

i feel like the only thing i am good for is changing diapers.

Believe it or not, changing diapers is a very important thing. Who else is going to do it if us Mommies don't. Not to make light of it, but being a mother is a very noble thing, and every little thing we do, whether it be changing diapers, doing laundry, humming a lullaby, are all very important to the little one's growth and development.

i mentioned that i might have post partum depression, but he and my other family member think that disease is "all in your head" usually.

Do any of them suffer from, say, high blood pressure, any other medical disorder? Try telling them that it's all in their head. Post partum depression is a very real disorder, and can be easily treated for the most part. It is a hormonal imbalance that can be treated medically just like high blood pressure for example.

. they dont want to see me "become hooked on psych meds" .

That's not their decision now is it? Are you trying to make THEM happy or YOU?

so i havent gone to see a doctor because i dot want to be all medicated just to feel like myself again.

Sweetie, there are meds out there that DON'T make you feel all medicated and WILL make you feel like yourself again. You won't take them forever, just short-term while your hormones balance themselves out again.

You really need to see a doctor to get happy for you, not for THEM.

[imxinxonxit]

Sorry to hear your depressed.If you have health insurance call them and see if they can recommend a therapist. I think you need to talk to someone besides your family.They can help you to figure out a plan to get your head straight.Its not easy being a first time mom,it's a turning point in your life. You can still have your career but wait a bit so you can spend time with that precious little boy of yours,they are only little once.It takes awhile before your body gets back into shape after pregnancy.See if there is a mommy and me exercise class in your area.Good luck!

[rachie]

Thank you for the replies... you are all so nice. I am trying to work up the nerve (and the money) to see a counselor.

[J_9]

Sweetie, your general doctor can help you with meds to help you over the hump. Not all women need counseling and/or therapy. See your GP, s/he will have a questionnaire for you to fill out that will help determine if short term meds are appropriate or if you need something more in depth.

Sometimes just a couple months of a very simple medication works wonders until you get completely adjusted.

[J_9]

macksmom agrees: sometimes all it takes is adjusting to motherhood, and giving time for hormones to get back to normal levels

This is exactly right, especially if you are breastfeeding. You spent 9 months on a hormonal on a rollercoaster, the rollercoaster will not stop overnight.

Sometimes a simple med like Celexa will help alleviate the stress until your coaster comes to a full stop.

There is nothing wrong with a little help when needed.