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KatieEighties · Jul 17, 2007, 12:30 PM

When I was growing up I had many friends. All through high school I was very social and had a great network of many different people. Now that I am older though it seems like everyone has gone their separate ways. Most of the people that I knew in high school and college have moved far away or started families and I have lost touch with almost everyone. Even when I do see someone I used to know they seem like they have moved on in their lives and want nothing to do with me. My problem right now is that I am done with school and I don't really know where to go to make new friends. When you are going to school you are around a lot of people that are your same age and have a lot of the same interests. You can also join clubs to get to know other people. Now that I am out in the real world I just really want to meet some people that I can talk to and be friends with. My problem is I don't know where to go or how to approach people in a non-school situation. I am starting to get very lonely and would do anything just to have at least one friend. Can anyone help me?

Canada_Sweety · Jul 17, 2007, 04:32 PM

Going from center of a crowd to no crowd sounds difficult. Maybe you should try going out for drinks with some people in the workplace would work. And through them you could meet more people. Or take a friend or two and go to a club and mix it up there:) I wish I could be of more assistance but I know nothing about where you live or what you do so that's the best I can do with said info. Good Luck:)

margarita_momma · Jul 18, 2007, 01:13 PM

Hi Katie,

I am in the same boat as you. I was popular in high school, had tons of friends, and then decided to run off with my husband (300 miles away from home). I have lived in the town I'm in for 4 years now. My husband and I are going through a divorce and I have no close friends to help me through any of this. I had a friend that is also a co-worker of mine. She had went through a divorce too and had a daughter about the same age as my son. We got along great and went to lunch everyday. Then she met her current boyfriend. He decided he didn't like me and now she has nothing to do with me. I don't think I will ever find friends as close as the ones I had in my hometown. I guess what I am trying to say is your not alone in this. I am getting another job to help with bills and to fill in all the free time I have after I get off work. Keep your chin up.

KatieEighties · Jul 18, 2007, 07:33 PM

Thanks for the advice. I always feel like I am the only one, but there are always people out there like you. I just need to remember that and keep on going.

stonewilder · Jul 18, 2007, 08:36 PM

I can relate to your dilemma. It really sucks.

Bluerose · Jul 18, 2007, 09:10 PM

To have friends you only need to be a friend. Instead of seeking out friends seek to be a friend. I think the big problem here is we want a close friend, someone to confine in, someone to trust, and we want it now! We somehow forget that friendships take time to build. We must be prepared to work at building relationships and friendship will blossom from them.

METERRE · Jul 18, 2007, 09:27 PM

I too am going through the same thing. Even though I never had many friends throughout my school years, now I basically have none. The few I had went on with their lives, and I know nothing about them. I too am seeking to have friends, one thing I've been doing is chatting online through dating websites or chat rooms.
But the very closest friend anyone can have is Jesus. And like I've said before, with him loneliness is not an issue. But I understand what you're looking for though. You have the need to get out there and enjoy having people around you.
I would definitely offer you my friendship, but we're probably miles apart... unless you'd be interested in chatting online with me. Anyway, good luck.

canadian16pah · Jul 19, 2007, 01:11 AM

Originally Posted by KatieEighties

When I was growing up I had many friends. All through high school I was very social and had a great network of many different people. Now that I am older though it seems like everyone has gone their separate ways. Most of the people that I knew in high school and college have moved far away or started families and I have lost touch with almost everyone. Even when I do see someone I used to know they seem like they have moved on in their lives and want nothing to do with me. My problem right now is that I am done with school and I don't really know where to go to make new friends. When you are going to school you are around a lot of people that are your same age and have a lot of the same interests. You can also join clubs to get to know other people. Now that I am out in the real world I just really want to meet some people that I can talk to and be friends with. My problem is I don't know where to go or how to approach people in a non-school situation. I am starting to get very lonely and would do anything just to have at least one friend. Can anyone help me?

OK um through a party go clubing someone will approch u in a club always happens always will find and old friend try to get togeather

Marily · Jul 20, 2007, 07:36 AM

Nicely said bluerose, I agree !

Bluerose · Jul 25, 2007, 01:40 AM

"manga agrees: but what if they're the kind of friends that don't know how to be friends back?"

Then it's up to you. If you want these people as friends then you must set an example. Be the kind of friend you are looking for.

talaniman · Jul 25, 2007, 02:01 AM

We meet a lot of people over the course of life, but what we really find after a while is we have only one or two really close friends. I think the key is that we treat our close friends the way we want to be treated, and be as good as we can with the rest of the world.

lollipopgirl83 · Jul 25, 2007, 03:25 AM

Hi Katie, I know how your feeling!! I have always been shy and quiet but I always had friends in school, after I left school I just seemed to have 1 friend and now I have moved from the UK to spain and I have no friends at all. I don't really talk to my friend from back home now either. I am now pregnant and would love to have girly chats about it but I have no one to share anything with! (exept my oyfriend of course). It also very hard because I do not speak spanish!!
Maybe when I have had the baby I will make new friends, but first I need to speak spanish!!

Bluerose · Jul 25, 2007, 04:58 AM

lollipopgirl83,

Sorry to hear you are feeling alone. Come and chat to us. It's hard enough when we move home but moving to another country... Wow!

Take care of yourself. Learn some Spanish and get out and join some clubs. Try to meet other English speaking friends in the meantime.

Good luck with everything.

Come and chat to me anytime.

lollipopgirl83 · Jul 25, 2007, 06:53 AM

Ahh thanks Bluerose! I would love to join some clubs or something but as I don't speak spanish its hard! Im having spanish lessons at the mo. My family are here at the mo visiting so I feel really happy but I know when they go I will feel lonely again... I am lucky though because I have an amazing boyfriend who I love dearly!
Xx

Bluerose · Jul 25, 2007, 06:41 PM

Glad to hear that everything is fine for now. Stick around and let us know how things are going.

cal823 · Jul 25, 2007, 07:11 PM

People are meant to have friends. If you do not have friends, make them!
Try clubs, community events, church can be good (if your christian)(I about doubled my amount of friends when I went to church, and its constantly growing)
If you can't find a club, you can always start one. Try just being helpful whenever the opportunity arises, even to strangers, because that could start a friendship.
There are lots of lonely people out there who want friends, you just need to find them
There are also lots of social people who want more and more friends and who like to meet new people.
You deserve to have friends.
Loneliness is the worlds worst epidemic.

glavine · Aug 5, 2007, 05:22 AM

The Work Your Wanting To Get Into Can Solve All This. First Get A Job In The Interior Design Field, Your Friends You Come, Im A Contractor So I Meet People Just About Everyday, Can't Call Em Friends But I Know A lot Of People None The Less,
Out Of High School My Friends Did The Same Thing, Just Till Lately Ive Caught Up With A Few Of Them, One Of Which Works For Me Now, There Some Many Things That Change After You Get Out. The Good Thing Is The Ones You Make Now Will Stay Much Longer,

emmacelyn · Aug 6, 2007, 01:45 PM

I know what you are saying I hav'nt,nt got that many friends now, becoz I don't trust a lot of people.A few that I thought was my closet friends stabbed me in the back! And when I found this out about them I cut away frm people!

cal823 · Aug 12, 2007, 02:49 AM

I know how it feels to distrust people emmacelyn, I have serious issues trusting my friends, even though I know they are trustworthy, a lot of the time I can't make myself trust them.

emmacelyn · Aug 12, 2007, 11:47 AM

It just feels like a lot of people that I really get close too start being very two faced.. now if I can help it I keep everyone arms length, so I don't get hurt. The only person I really trust is my husband and family they are my friends! And this sounds really sad I know but when I was younger I was really popular now I don't handle go out and socialize!